telling others about your SA. Good idea?

[boro]

I imagine their would be many people on this forum who have taken a chance and told others about their social anxiety and if you did i would be very interested to know how you felt afterwards. I am having enough trouble building up the courage to tell my parents, not that i think that their reaction will be negative, its just that i have kept a lot of secrets from them. They have always been supportive so i dont want them to think i have decieved them and i dont want them to worry and of course i would probably also feel very embarresed when doing it.

I know the truth coming out is inevitable, i just wish it could be when i actually want it to come out rather than telling people and feeling nervous about it in an attempt to move myself forward and tackle my anxieties head on.

But I am thinking the best case scenario to come from telling people would be that i would no longer have anything to hide which would mean i might be able to be myself more easily. I would be taken out of my comfort zone so i might start to internalise things less than i am now.

I think the worst outcome would be that I wouldnt change at all, that the only thing to change would be other peoples knowledge of my condition which might make me constantly embarressed.

I suppose the middle outcome would be that it may not put an end to my anxiety, but at least i might feel less isolated.

But i really dont know how i'll feel until i do it and how successful it will be so it would be good to hear from some people that have done this about the effect (if any) it had on them.

 

[Mandy-Chan]

I never had to tell my parents, because i was so young and i didn't know myself what was wrong with me, until we went into counseling and a psychiatrist told us.

With friends and some family, after telling them they didn't seem to mind, they sometimes ask why, what triggers it, etc. but other then that they were nothing but supportive the hole way. In fact, if it weren't for my friends/family knowing, i wouldn't have gotten this far in my life. In the long run, its best to tell someone and i know its hard getting past the first step of saying "hey, i need to tell you something and its important" but really, i doubt they would think of you as weird or stupid.

Just recently, because i didn't want to lie, i had told a random person (We had only been talking about 5 minutes) that i had social phobia, and to my surprise, he had social phobia as well. Who knows, you telling people you have it might let you meet people that have the same problems you do. After all, it happened to me

 

[corsa]

i would encourage you to disclose about your SP to a person you really trust because then you will have someone to confide in whenever you feel like it. It will make you feel better.

 

[PunkyMonkey]

It depends....I never really have told that many people. It wouldn't be something I told to a lot of strangers.

I did tell my mom last year, when I was having a lot of problems with everything. She told me she was the same way when she was younger. That helped. It made me feel less alone, and comforted. And now, much over a year later, I think she's going to let me try therapy, even maybe against her real wishes. I think she knows it's something that really bothers me.

I've told a few close friends that I think it's a problem I have, they were understanding. I was comfortable telling them, because they really know me past my 'shy' side. One of them is shy too, and really knows where I'm coming from.

The most difficult time I've had telling someone was yesterday. I told my docter. It was hard because she was a complete stranger and we'd only been talking for a few minutes. That was beneficial. She told me everything I needed to know to try to get some help.

I told another friend yesterday though. But I also told her that I was going to get couseling, and the first thing she said was 'Wow, this has been a bad day for you, hasn't it?' I was like, 'No, actually it's good, I really want to.'

Thinking about telling real strangers or new friends....I probably wouldn't do it. In a way, it's nice. It gets it all out. They can understand better why you seem uncomfortable, and that it may take time for you to be relaxed. Still I would worry about them taking it all the wrong way. Like my friend I told yesterday, they might view people getting couseling and taking medication as all completely crazy.

 

[B]

After telling my therapist, felt great. As for anyone else: I didn't bother telling them. What would they do with that info even if they had it? The parents would worry. The friends wouldn't give a shit.

 

[renegade]

Definetlly NO. Except your psychiatrist, parents and a few relatives you trust

 

[IceLad]

I agree with PunkyMonkey- it depends.

I think you should tell people that you really trust and can totally empathise with you. It was a total relief telling the healthcare professionals I have seen in the past. It felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

On the other hand, I think SP is widely misunderstood and a lot of people if I told them, wouldn't know where I was coming from in a million years, and could possibly use it against me.

 

[PunkyMonkey]

I was thinking more today when I was just standing around at my "new" job. It might help to tell people just that you are quiet and shy or whatever, without explaining the anxiety disorder. Saying you are quiet shows that you accept that about yourself, and that they can accept it about you too. The anxiety is kind of 'unsafe' around people you really don't know, because they might see you as crazy, or having something wrong about you. Yesterday I told someone that I was quiet...and it turned into a lot of good joking around. Like, 'Do you have a problem with that? What if I think you're too loud?' That joking really helps ease things up and lets you get to know people better.

 

[boro]

Well thanks for your advice everyone. Its good to hear of other peoples exeriences and positive outcomes of opening up to people. I always thought it would be much easier to tell somebody i dont know but who is familiar with the problem like a psychlogist than telling people i live with and see all the time - I have always thought this would just make me embarressed all the time. But i did tell my parents and they were totally understanding and supportive of my problem which is great and i actually think they worry less about me now than before because now theres an explaination for why my life is in such a rut and they know that im trying very hard to break free of it, although I am still slightly uncomfortable about them knowing about it. With time i think this feeling will go away, but it does say something about the extent of the shame sa sufferers (well me at least) place on their condition as i have acceptance but still feel a hint of embaressment. Interestingly enough, I didnt feel that great all those months ago after I first told a psyhologist - I was expecting to feel like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders but didnt have this feeling at all. I think telling my parents was actually much more worthwhile.

 

[Vincent]

off the bat

I am looking at an apartment,

on the ad, I said little except taht I had SA, and gave a definition. I didn't give them any other personal info because, if they say no, then they dont knwo its me. ifthey agree, then they are friendly open minded people. but when i see them, i wont bring it up, will talk about it, rather, answer questions if they ask, but otherwise, i wont feel strange about being silent. not sure if this was a good move or not, but i konw that id rather live with understanding people than alone anymore, and this way minimises the impact of rejection. what do you think?

 

[young]

I imagine their would be many people on this forum who have taken a chance and told others about their social anxiety and if you did i would be very interested to know how you felt afterwards.

I hate when I have to answer the same questions over and over again. Or when I tell someone something they forget it. They first few times it's ok.. But like the 100th time. Damn people pay attention to me.. Can't you see I'm starving for attention.. :x :evil: