Ren Koutaisou
Well-known member
I'm really starting to think my fear of talking to people I don't know is not my fault. I actually do like meeting people, aside from the beginning conversation and explaining who I am, what I do, what I want to do, etc. Or rather I USED to enjoy it, when it happened more.
Now, I tend to never speak. Not at work, not on the phone, and not at home. Usually when I speak, my speech is monotonous, slurred, sped up, and very brief, so I can't blame anyone for not wanting to talk to me, if they don't. But I plan to do something about this.
I want to learn how to talk to people in a way which will not bore them but rather interest them and make them want to continue talking to me.
Also, I think my family is partly to blame for me having this problem. When anyone is at home, they are always either on the computer or in their room. Nobody does anything together except maybe 1 time a year. Most of the time there are 3 people in the house. brother is always in his room on his computer, and never bothers to even speak to me. Anyway, whenever he comes out of his room, he puts his fists near me to "play punch" like he's 5 years old, and for goodness' sake, he does this instead of making conversation, then goes right back to his computer 5 seconds later. sister is ok most of the time since we talk more, but sometimes I tend to rely on her so much to converse because she's the only one I can actually talk to for more than 3 minutes in my house. we hang out sometimes outside of the house, if we have buffet or movie money.
then there is mother, who is at work most of the time. whenever she calls, she does not ask to speak with me at all. i've gotten use to it but if i think about it too long it hurts my feelings a wee bit. when she comes home, she blabs for a while about her job (we all do) and goes straight to her room for the rest of the night and, point blank, she never talks to me.
I am thinking of taking a second job to fill in my days off, because staying here all day I'm starting to think is having heavy negative affects on my sense of self-esteem. It's like I'm not here.
I think this is part of the reason I am not so well spoken, but I want to change this.
Now, I tend to never speak. Not at work, not on the phone, and not at home. Usually when I speak, my speech is monotonous, slurred, sped up, and very brief, so I can't blame anyone for not wanting to talk to me, if they don't. But I plan to do something about this.
I want to learn how to talk to people in a way which will not bore them but rather interest them and make them want to continue talking to me.
Also, I think my family is partly to blame for me having this problem. When anyone is at home, they are always either on the computer or in their room. Nobody does anything together except maybe 1 time a year. Most of the time there are 3 people in the house. brother is always in his room on his computer, and never bothers to even speak to me. Anyway, whenever he comes out of his room, he puts his fists near me to "play punch" like he's 5 years old, and for goodness' sake, he does this instead of making conversation, then goes right back to his computer 5 seconds later. sister is ok most of the time since we talk more, but sometimes I tend to rely on her so much to converse because she's the only one I can actually talk to for more than 3 minutes in my house. we hang out sometimes outside of the house, if we have buffet or movie money.
then there is mother, who is at work most of the time. whenever she calls, she does not ask to speak with me at all. i've gotten use to it but if i think about it too long it hurts my feelings a wee bit. when she comes home, she blabs for a while about her job (we all do) and goes straight to her room for the rest of the night and, point blank, she never talks to me.
I am thinking of taking a second job to fill in my days off, because staying here all day I'm starting to think is having heavy negative affects on my sense of self-esteem. It's like I'm not here.
I think this is part of the reason I am not so well spoken, but I want to change this.
