sp, who should i tell
- Thread starter Thom
- Start date
Crimefish
Well-known member
Well, sure, you can tell whoever you want. But you can't take it back, so really think hard to see if they're the kind of people who will understand. If they don't, they'll look at you differently forever. And be prepared to hear a lot of "Just get over it/ snap out of it/ it's all in your head" BS.
Maybe slyly bring it up in conversation to see what they think, before outright saying you actually have SA yourself.
Apart from that, if you think it'll help people understand you better, then it's probably a good idea. And welcome to the forum. And to clarity.
Maybe slyly bring it up in conversation to see what they think, before outright saying you actually have SA yourself.
Apart from that, if you think it'll help people understand you better, then it's probably a good idea. And welcome to the forum. And to clarity.
LilMissTragic
Well-known member
I agree, just tell the people that you want to know and the ones that you think should know.
GettingThere
Well-known member
I think that i'm right (please feel free to correct me) in saying that most SP sufferers are "type A" in behaviour. A large part of type A behaviour is centred around perfectionism. Because of this and the harsh demands that we make on ourselves as a result, we tend to not want the world to think that we are anything but "alright".
What i'm saying is that I think that it would go against the grain for most SP sufferers to tell others (aside from a very small and select few - basically the very closest to us) of our problems.
You must be careful also to not (metaphorically) paint a target on yourself for your SP related thinking to torment you (like "there's such snd such, they know that I have a problem...hmm do they look differently at me now....").
What i'm saying is that I think that it would go against the grain for most SP sufferers to tell others (aside from a very small and select few - basically the very closest to us) of our problems.
You must be careful also to not (metaphorically) paint a target on yourself for your SP related thinking to torment you (like "there's such snd such, they know that I have a problem...hmm do they look differently at me now....").
Anonymous
Well-known member
Personally I don't want to go telling people I have the problem, not least because of the social stigma of having a "mental disorder". There's something about the phrase "mental disorder" that I find very chilling - I associate it with seriously unstable and potentially dangerous people who may be prone to losing touch with reality, suddenly flying off the handle and becoming violent.
I have a mental disorder and if I feel uncomfortable with the idea of someone having a mental disorder, then I know for sure that society as a whole will have far less understanding of what mental disorder can mean. Maybe I'm being paranoid but I'd be very careful about telling anyone other than mental health professionals and trusted family and friends.
Maybe others hear have found that "a problem shared is a problem halved" when they've told someone, but I have visions of the news spreading throughout the neighbourhood that I'm some kind of dangerous mental case and when I go for a walk down the street, it'll be "....here comes the psycho, get the kids inside."
I have a mental disorder and if I feel uncomfortable with the idea of someone having a mental disorder, then I know for sure that society as a whole will have far less understanding of what mental disorder can mean. Maybe I'm being paranoid but I'd be very careful about telling anyone other than mental health professionals and trusted family and friends.
Maybe others hear have found that "a problem shared is a problem halved" when they've told someone, but I have visions of the news spreading throughout the neighbourhood that I'm some kind of dangerous mental case and when I go for a walk down the street, it'll be "....here comes the psycho, get the kids inside."
Shadow
Well-known member
Yeah, you need to be very careful about who you tell. Most people won't understand so it really isn't going to help if you tell them. And the social stigma of having a "mental illness" may cause some people to look at you and treat you differently (and probably not in a positive manner). But there are alot of people out there who are trying to educate the public about mental illness so it is getting better. Unless you feel that someone needs to know, there's really no reason to tell them. If you think it will make you feel more comfortable is someone knew, then by all means let them know. But be careful.
You should defiently tell close family and friends though, when you feel the time is right. They may not understand completely but they'll be supportive.
You should defiently tell close family and friends though, when you feel the time is right. They may not understand completely but they'll be supportive.
Ads7800
Well-known member
Crimefish said:
This is good advice. I once told a friend about my SP that I thought would have understood, I haven't seen him since. I guess he thought I was crazy. It's true that some people think that anyone with a mental problem must be an out of control maniac. Perhaps Hollywood is to blame. None the less, you must be careful who you tell: this was a close friend of mine, not a mere acquaintance.
Thom
Member
thanks for the comments everyone. i still feel i need to tell my colugues at work to releive social expectations. i work for a nonprofit org.mostly people 40 yrs or older.(may be more understanding than younger ones.) ive told a coworker and shes understanding but wont advise if i should tell others. its possible i might get assignments needing less scoial contact. It may explain why i have been a problem at times.
i think i should also tell my landloard. ive lived in a trailer on his property for 23 years. he knows im a hermit and never hassels me, but he dosent talk much about personal issues. he comes over to visit once in a while and i like that and i dont like the idea of log out of Social Phobia World in i hear a knock on the door.
i think i should also tell my landloard. ive lived in a trailer on his property for 23 years. he knows im a hermit and never hassels me, but he dosent talk much about personal issues. he comes over to visit once in a while and i like that and i dont like the idea of log out of Social Phobia World in i hear a knock on the door.
Shadow
Well-known member
Yeah, I think older people would be more understanding. If you want to get assignments that require less social contact you don't necessarily need to tell them you have social phobia. Just tell them you have difficulty dealing with people and would prefer assignments that required less social contact. I think most people would be understanding if you said that. If you use the words "social phobia" or "social anxiety" people are automatically going to think "mental illness," and the connotations that come with it.