someone asked me to share my story...so here i am

[this-is-y-im-hot]

meh i might get abuse for it, but never mind ay lol

Ok well.... ermm... most of my problems started off by smoking too much cannabis and getin myself into a right old state. i eventualy realised that and quit. but i mean the effects dont take effect straight away.

It was weird ya know, it was like...someone spoke to me..i could hear myself replying in my head, but just woundnt say anything out loud. i dont htink i spoke properly in a year?
and i was always an outgoing person, so was propa devastating.

it got to the point where i hated any social situation i would just panic, man my self esteem was so bad...i hated myself! i cried everyday coz i was so disapointented in myself that i had done this to myself, i dont blame anyone else for what happened. but the truth is, i soon came to realise the reason why i wasnt getting any better after like 3 years of this crap, was because i still hasnt come round to sorting out my self esteem issues, that was why i wasnt an outgoing person anymore, coz i thought i had gone cliicaly mad, i even printed off diagnostic critera for avoident personality disorder to give to my doctor like ''god help me!'.

i went to theropy, i went apd, but i was depressed. things seemed to be better, i was ok for a while, but soon spiraled back into self hate. i couldnt work out why!

things is, coz i hadnt been using my social skills for so long, i sorta forgot how to use them? i came a very poor communicator! so what i done is exactly what i put in my previous bulliten about the hypnosis and shit. end of the day, no ones know u, bteer than u do. u kno what u need, what u could be better at etc, which is wht i did. i still get nervous ya kno talking to people that i dont know very well, but the thing is, u havnt got to be interesting, just interested! u just gotta make an effort. knoin all these lil bits and bobs is key.

 

[this-is-y-im-hot]

this is what i put in my original post btw, this is what i did.

Hi, i really do reconmend u read this and you might not of heard recomendations quite like it.
The worst thing you can proberly do is set goals in your mind, they never work.
before i begin i would like you to know i speak from experience, ive re-invented myself so many times its sick lol but ill tell you what helped, and more importantly what didnt!
It can often be hard to get yourself out of a habbit, and type of behaviour is learned! ofcourse are personalitys i like to belive are uniquely are own, its the way we express them that we learn. like shyness, this is something you have learned and internalised creating a repeat pattern. thats the science, one u look at it like that, thats the first step of comming to terms with it. now what do we do about it if we wish to change that?

I strongly reccomend before u begin anything social, you work on yourself first, coz end of the day if u jump in the deep end, u will drown. its that thing again, if u look to others to find happiness in yourself, it will be a rocky ride.
So to start off with i recomend building your self esteem and confidence first, for this i reccomend going on amazon.com/co.uk and purshasing yourself and hypnosis cd (it works miracles i tell ya) get one titled something about self confidence and social confidence, but make sure its got self on there. mine had both which is handy. the point if this first step is first getting to the core of the problem, tackling it from the inside out. this if u put it on before bed, lie down relax, once u nodd of and its playing, it will go straight into your uncoinsience, where as most of us kno, all these problems r rooted. i also recomend paul mckenna he's very good.

Now give this a few weeks before doing anything else, u will slowly see a slight more optimistic attitude, which is what u need, not a positive one, or negative, just optimistic. then i suggest figuring out what u like about u! i dont mean in comparison to others, just purely you. then i recomend you set yourself targets, things you want to achieve wether it be college, new job whatever, this boasts confidence just going for something!

then before u tackle the social side of things, i suggest reading about 'assertive communication' ull probs come accross other types of communication styles, when u do ull see why the assertive type is the best, its the one that boasts ur self esteem through conversation without lowing that of others, which in return builds rupport, which again u recieve more self confidence!

End of the day people, u deserve to be happy. the world is superficial, on the outside, but to get on in the inside, u have to play the game. so dedicate your time u spend feeling bad about yourselfs, in learning how to feel good about yourself! it is possible. all the above i have tried and tested. i looked in all the wrong places, i tried bein a people pleaser putting them before me, but this looses respect, ive tried anti depressants, but my problem was makin me depressed, not the other way round, hell i even tried bein the life and sole at the clubs, but people arent that superficail to that be thats all they want in a friend. i just couldnt quite click why i struggled so much! but all along it was my self esteem, how i communcated with others, in a vicous circle, building your self woth and learning how to positvely communcate is key!

i would like to know if anyone is going to try this and then be even more delighted to now how you get on!

thanks for your time

 

[rado31]

hello tiwih, this idea come to my mind today. My goal in july was to read some cbt book that i found, but i changed my planes(also the month changed, it seems that now is august :? ). I will use your recommendetation and start by mckeena's book.

Anyway,i m startly beginin to see what is the main root for unsuccesful socializing: we put much effort on something that has to be spontaneous.
In fact, we are doing things in sort of un-natural way if i may say so. i analyze it in myself and i came to conclusion that i m doing it permanently. Hell, people are specie with unpredictable behaviour, so how can i demand unconditional acceptance when i m not the same myself? Sorry to call you that name its just that i dont like psyche stuff and that i have a prejudices about them and besides that i have a small ears for a man so i have a complex i guess :wink: .

 

[rado31]

i find pol maquina's cd not helpin to me. nuttin is helpin .Maybe i should be euthanized , i dont see a way out of here

 

[this-is-why-im-hot]

what cd r u listening to firstly? if ur listening to one about better social skills before doin a self esteem one thats not a good idea. concentrate on ur self esteem etc before u tackle ANYYTHING social. also listen to it in a semi sleep state. tell me if this helps at all

 

[jamez]

Interesting. I'd like to know more. Chat some time?