pauly88
Member
Hello all,
I've only been here a while, but instead of sharing my experiences - I expect they are similar to alot of you out there - I thought I might share some helpful hints, things that help me get through shyness, feelings of rejection, anxiety, etc.
Firstly, question your feelings, rather than internalising them. Feelings are not facts, they are bio-chemical responses to external stimuli. When they hit, you have to criticise them, chide them for being so irrational. If I get depressed for whatever reason, which happens from time to time, I ask myself why. Now I don't answer by saying I'm depressed because I'm a miserable, selfish no-hoper who wasn't made for this world. You answer with the truth. I'm depressed because I felt bad that this did not go the right way, that X has decided to not talk to me - whatever.
What I'm trying to say is, there are reasons for you feeling the way you are, and it has NOTHING, NOTHING to do with you. Undesirable circumstances or relationships perhaps, but not you. Once you realise that your feelings are not related to who you are, but to the way things pan out, you will enter a whole new frame of reference. One where you can take the bad with the good, without the bad making you feel so negative towards yourself.
I hope these musings have assisted you in some way. Please, add your own helpful hints. Let's start focusing on solutions rather than our collective misery.
I've only been here a while, but instead of sharing my experiences - I expect they are similar to alot of you out there - I thought I might share some helpful hints, things that help me get through shyness, feelings of rejection, anxiety, etc.
Firstly, question your feelings, rather than internalising them. Feelings are not facts, they are bio-chemical responses to external stimuli. When they hit, you have to criticise them, chide them for being so irrational. If I get depressed for whatever reason, which happens from time to time, I ask myself why. Now I don't answer by saying I'm depressed because I'm a miserable, selfish no-hoper who wasn't made for this world. You answer with the truth. I'm depressed because I felt bad that this did not go the right way, that X has decided to not talk to me - whatever.
What I'm trying to say is, there are reasons for you feeling the way you are, and it has NOTHING, NOTHING to do with you. Undesirable circumstances or relationships perhaps, but not you. Once you realise that your feelings are not related to who you are, but to the way things pan out, you will enter a whole new frame of reference. One where you can take the bad with the good, without the bad making you feel so negative towards yourself.
I hope these musings have assisted you in some way. Please, add your own helpful hints. Let's start focusing on solutions rather than our collective misery.