Some advice needed.
- Thread starter Nico
- Start date
StupidWiz
Well-known member
Hi, welcome to the forums.
I remember when I was in high school, when I met new faces that I didn't know, it's really scary and just like you I could never bring myself to start a conversation with anyone. :
:
My advice, how about you look around and see if there are some diligent kids who always do their homework. Ask them about something you don't understand in your homework, that usually breaks the ice (for me anyway). Keep away from the "popular kids", they're usually very hard to approach and have their own clique. Be friendly and don't put your grumpy/sad face, people usually notices that and start to think that there really is something wrong with you.
And never think you're ugly, ever. We're beautiful in every single way. (that reminds me of Christina Aguilera's song )
I remember when I was in high school, when I met new faces that I didn't know, it's really scary and just like you I could never bring myself to start a conversation with anyone. :
:My advice, how about you look around and see if there are some diligent kids who always do their homework. Ask them about something you don't understand in your homework, that usually breaks the ice (for me anyway). Keep away from the "popular kids", they're usually very hard to approach and have their own clique. Be friendly and don't put your grumpy/sad face, people usually notices that and start to think that there really is something wrong with you.
And never think you're ugly, ever. We're beautiful in every single way. (that reminds me of Christina Aguilera's song )
StupidWiz
Well-known member
I once had a classmate who looked always serious all the time, he rarely smiled. We thought he's too good for us and would never want to even speak to us. Turned out that he's actually not like that, even though his expression's like that, after knowing him better, he's actually caring, funny and kind, see? people can make bad assumption just by looking at our facial expression, so put a smile on your face once in a while, especially when your friend tries to make a joke, even it's not funny to you, just smile. They'll appreciate that.
I can't give proper advice as I don't know you and your situation precisely, maybe this is all that I can say, try to do activities together with your "only friend". Even better if she's doing it with her other friends so you can get to know them as well. People usually bond/connect if they're doing the same activities together, maybe shopping together, or playing games, doing homeworks, etc. Try to find out about things that she and her friends like and starts from there.
So, that's all from me, hope you can make more friends in your new school. =)
I can't give proper advice as I don't know you and your situation precisely, maybe this is all that I can say, try to do activities together with your "only friend". Even better if she's doing it with her other friends so you can get to know them as well. People usually bond/connect if they're doing the same activities together, maybe shopping together, or playing games, doing homeworks, etc. Try to find out about things that she and her friends like and starts from there.
So, that's all from me, hope you can make more friends in your new school. =)
kindred
Member
Hi Nico,
I think most social anxiety problems stem from people trying to live up to other people's expectations, which is completely wrong. You don't need another persons approval to justify your own self worth. You're as good as anyone else, so stop trying so hard to please other people and who cares what other people think. Humans are pretty judgemental most of the time anyway. Just be yourself, smile & be polite to everyone you come into contact with and I'm sure things will improve. At the end of the day, the only thing in life you have to fear is fear itself. Trust me, as some who suffers from social phobia, you don't want fear as a permanent friend, lol.
Instead of dwelling on the negative, pay more attention to your positive traits. The fact you care so much what other people think, probably means you are more empathic towards people which is a good trait to have. So concentrate on your good points rather than your bad ones. Positivity is where it's at. Only if you think positive will you feel better about yourself.
It's like I keep telling myself, no matter how bad things get in life, there is always someone, somewhere whose got it worse. If you're going to feel sorry for someone, feel sorry for them.
Here's wishing you all the best. Let positivity be your friend.
What is Social Phobia/Social Anxiety?
I think most social anxiety problems stem from people trying to live up to other people's expectations, which is completely wrong. You don't need another persons approval to justify your own self worth. You're as good as anyone else, so stop trying so hard to please other people and who cares what other people think. Humans are pretty judgemental most of the time anyway. Just be yourself, smile & be polite to everyone you come into contact with and I'm sure things will improve. At the end of the day, the only thing in life you have to fear is fear itself. Trust me, as some who suffers from social phobia, you don't want fear as a permanent friend, lol.
Instead of dwelling on the negative, pay more attention to your positive traits. The fact you care so much what other people think, probably means you are more empathic towards people which is a good trait to have. So concentrate on your good points rather than your bad ones. Positivity is where it's at. Only if you think positive will you feel better about yourself.
It's like I keep telling myself, no matter how bad things get in life, there is always someone, somewhere whose got it worse. If you're going to feel sorry for someone, feel sorry for them.
Here's wishing you all the best. Let positivity be your friend.
What is Social Phobia/Social Anxiety?
Why do you even think you are worse then others? It is these others - they are the problem. And yes, you are better then them in every way.
Do you seriously think that some ball throwing alcohol drinking promiscuous bullying bastard is in any way superior then you? I don't, and never did, that's why I don't think I have this so called shyness (not to this degree at least).
I am secure that the qualities I want to project - compassion, intelligence, independent thinking, politeness, are superior to what these miserable bastards have. And I don't need them, I don't want anything to do with them, I don't want to date the girls they date, let these idiotic bitches suffer! They have a choice, why not choose wisely?
So, raise your head, and be strong, and stand against the world, however you can. That's the only way.
Do you seriously think that some ball throwing alcohol drinking promiscuous bullying bastard is in any way superior then you? I don't, and never did, that's why I don't think I have this so called shyness (not to this degree at least).
I am secure that the qualities I want to project - compassion, intelligence, independent thinking, politeness, are superior to what these miserable bastards have. And I don't need them, I don't want anything to do with them, I don't want to date the girls they date, let these idiotic bitches suffer! They have a choice, why not choose wisely?
So, raise your head, and be strong, and stand against the world, however you can. That's the only way.