B_Quiet1
Member
In my life with social phobia I thought I was shy and all I needed was confidence to help me with my situation but more and more I felt like something was wrong because even with my friends I could not speak if i haven't seen them in a long time and the same situation would happen around strangers. I've had people tell me just to talk there's nothing wrong with that right?? even writing this it seems that advice is the simple answer but it really isn't it's almost like the brain shuts down in social situations and all you can do is watch others socially interact and fear instantly hits at the thought to join the conversation although what you can say can bring others to laughter or joy but while these thoughts cross your mind opportunity is missed to participate and fear keeps getting stronger as each moment passes. sounds familiar? I figured out I had S.A.D in my teen years and been trying to get help for a disorder where even the intitials point out how bad we have it.
Well I come from a low income very high poverty slum and the people I hang around with can be percieved as intimidating and criminals. My street name shyboy can you believe my phobia has become part of me that it becomes my personality and controls my life! Even the fear I go through living in my life I have eventually become numb to. I've been to jail and even the fear of getting arrested has passed, let's just say I've seen what most haven't in a place where the hardend criminals are born.
Even through all that guess what still haunts me till this very day?
That's right being social with people... for some reason I can never get passed it what we are going through is a fear we cannot control I've been humiliated because of my situation and yet I still remain queit as if it was my number one mission in life is to die without saying a word. I tried curing myself by saying I've basically seen it all why am I so scared to talk what's the worst that can happen? but the answer is a fear undiscribable to any I have experienced it contorls my thoughts and actions.
The fear you and I are feeling trust me! trust me! trust me! it is not easy to overcome it's the worst fear ever which is brought along with humiliation and loneliness. I'm so used to being lonely that it calms me every time a person decides to leave from my presence and loneliness has become my comfort zone and I even stopped going to school and took part in online school because of the pressure of the social circles that come along with them.
just imagine this have you ever had a nightmare that led you to stay up all night?No matter how scared you became you still managed to go to sleep eventually.
but if you ever had social phobia it led you to not talk and become akward in social situations by staying away from people and being queit if the first could not be avoided, along with that came embarrsment and regret and not enjoying the time spent with other people but even with painful memories of being made fun of... when the same fear arrives you would rather go through the painful memories than just to open your mouth and say a few words........ ...imagine that ! you'd rather feel the pain than speak up or even speak at all that's how big the fear is and believe me the pain is unforgettable.
so I got an answer we can all use for those who tell us"WHY ARE YOU SO QUIET?" "TALK ALREADY DAMN DOES HE OR SHE TALK? " "OH I FORGOT YOU WERE HERE SORRY WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?" (and oh so many more!)
I GUESS WE CAN TELL EM " WELL BECAUSE
"I'M SCARED SHITLESS"
Well I come from a low income very high poverty slum and the people I hang around with can be percieved as intimidating and criminals. My street name shyboy can you believe my phobia has become part of me that it becomes my personality and controls my life! Even the fear I go through living in my life I have eventually become numb to. I've been to jail and even the fear of getting arrested has passed, let's just say I've seen what most haven't in a place where the hardend criminals are born.
Even through all that guess what still haunts me till this very day?
That's right being social with people... for some reason I can never get passed it what we are going through is a fear we cannot control I've been humiliated because of my situation and yet I still remain queit as if it was my number one mission in life is to die without saying a word. I tried curing myself by saying I've basically seen it all why am I so scared to talk what's the worst that can happen? but the answer is a fear undiscribable to any I have experienced it contorls my thoughts and actions.
The fear you and I are feeling trust me! trust me! trust me! it is not easy to overcome it's the worst fear ever which is brought along with humiliation and loneliness. I'm so used to being lonely that it calms me every time a person decides to leave from my presence and loneliness has become my comfort zone and I even stopped going to school and took part in online school because of the pressure of the social circles that come along with them.
just imagine this have you ever had a nightmare that led you to stay up all night?No matter how scared you became you still managed to go to sleep eventually.
but if you ever had social phobia it led you to not talk and become akward in social situations by staying away from people and being queit if the first could not be avoided, along with that came embarrsment and regret and not enjoying the time spent with other people but even with painful memories of being made fun of... when the same fear arrives you would rather go through the painful memories than just to open your mouth and say a few words........ ...imagine that ! you'd rather feel the pain than speak up or even speak at all that's how big the fear is and believe me the pain is unforgettable.
so I got an answer we can all use for those who tell us"WHY ARE YOU SO QUIET?" "TALK ALREADY DAMN DOES HE OR SHE TALK? " "OH I FORGOT YOU WERE HERE SORRY WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?" (and oh so many more!)
I GUESS WE CAN TELL EM " WELL BECAUSE
"I'M SCARED SHITLESS"