I agree with you, Sean. The mind is very powerful. So powerful that I don't subscribe to the school of thought that social phobics should just "push through it" or "tough it out". Unfortunately, it seems like a very popular school of thought on this forum. My humble opinion: If your SP is such that you can just "push through it" without meds, CBT, and a lot of support, you probably don't have SP, seeing that you're apparently a fully-functional member of society with a lot of friends, an active sex-life, and a satisfying, high-paying job. For the rest of us, we know that the mind is, like you said, a very powerful thing...and a real bitch sometimes. The deeper, involuntary components of it will fight you tooth and nail, and frankly, a mind already under a tremendous amount of pressure will not benefit from even more. People will challenge you to adapt, but the fact is, you're probably here because of your inability to adapt--the SP is just too much, and people only see the external as cold, hard fact; the internal is way more hazy--given to loads of assumptions and guesswork. You feel beaten by your illness, and you're here to seek help, or at least some perspective.
I mean, we don't tell a paraplegic to just get up and walk. However, with the right treatment, encouragement, and motivation, he or she may walk again...or not. That's why people need to stop treating SP like a personal failure and more like a real illness. So you have SP. Chances are you won't be able to just "push through it", but chances are also that you may recover one day or learn to deal with your illness. Get help. Get it any way you can. Confide in those who will listen and understand, and uses every resource at your disposal. SP, like most mental illness, is very poorly understood, so you'll have to fight to get the help you need. You'll have to fight ignorance, criticism, and stigma at every turn. But that doesn't change the fact that you are sick, and you need the kind of help that you can't just give yourself.
That said, if you're like me, you have some weird chemical imbalance in your brain. Get meds (I'm on Nardil, but I haven't been on it long enough to know if it works). Also, if you're like me, your worldview is completely messed up (no, I'm not crazy, but if you've dealt with SP your whole life as I have, then you form a very unique perception of the world and your place in it). See a shrink. If he or she is good, they will help you undo some of that messed up thinking. Yes, at some point you will have to face your fears, and yes, that is the only way to recover, but let a trained professional walk you through it, and do it one tiny step at a time. Attempting more than you're capable of in your current state can do more damage than good. Suffering with the overwhelming pressures of social life just isn't worth it, nor is it necessary. The deeper recesses of your mind will always get their way in the end anyway, even if it means a trip to the psych ward--Don't tread that path!
You have nothing to prove to anyone. Just focus on being happy and getting well. Best wishes.
PS - There are a lot of wise people here with some excellent insights. Unfortunately, I am equally shocked by the haphazard advice, cruel ignorance, and shoddy wisdom.
but i still dont feel like going out or doing anything tht involves others i hate it. anyway thanks for reading i know there is alot of people with SP and i still feel like the only 1 :lol: 
