miniheli
Member
Hello, first off I would like to say hello to all the good people in this forum.
This is my first post as well as my first topic starter. I am an 18 years old college student but I am almost 19. I’ve had these problems all my life, someday's I feel great others, not so great. There are loads of problems so I will list them lol. I don’t know if its social anxiety disorder because I never went to see a doctor about it.
1.I get nervous around large groups of people (just 1 person is enough to spook me). This is why its so difficult for me to go outside, I live in a huge city and there’s way to many people around. Even my long time friends make me uncomfroble.
2.My behavior at home fluctuates allot, one moment I’m sad than I’m happy and than I’m crying than laughing??
3. I have a problem controlling my facial expressions, for example. I would think I am smiling but I am actually giving a very angry evil expression. I think that’s why people tend to stay away from me.
4. Ive lost almost every friend I have ever made.
5. Im a recent type 1 diabetic
6.As a child (5-10) I was much more weird. Some of my childhood phobias include, a fear of highest, and a fear of jewelry, yes jewelry lol. I would collect remote controls. Than became a religious fanatic than all of the sudden I began hating god! Than I started twitching my toes, figures, face, everything. Than when I turned 13, I went to a special ed school that only had a 100 kids in it. You know those tiny school busses the kids make fun of calling it the "re re bus" I understand why now. I used to smack my head on the side of the busses window when I’m going home or to school. Than my eye twitches came back and it became my habit.
Those twitches resemble the symptoms of OCD I think. My favorite number back than was the number 4, and I did things over and over and over and over again. Even a certain thought had to be thought in fours. It drove me crazy, I began hitting myself because it was so damn painful. This is now what I believed caused me to feel extreme pain every time I think of something. I also have a hard time in school.
7.I am still afraid of jewelry
8. My memory is sooooo baad I mean sooo damn bad that I cant remember what I just ate. Its so hard just to remember what I said to someone after I have said only a couple of seconds ago. Sometimes it takes me 1-2 minutes to remember my birthday, and once I remember my birthdate, I than feel like thats not my brithday. Weird huh?
But the reason i am here is to ask for help or suggestions about my fear of people. I am in college right now, and was expecting I would make allot of new friends but as usual this isn’t working out for me. Im beginning to think that im not meant to have any friends, in other words I feel like a robot. Hell I even talk like a robot. Even when I get a new friend, I sometimes wished I hadn’t made friends with them at all.
Just walking down the street gives me nervous thoughts. I am afraid that someone might make fun of me, or look at me in a particular way. Im afraid that someone will laugh at me, or ask me a question that I wouldn’t know the answer to. So many thoughts go through my mind but I cannot control them, they just enter when they please and I can’t stop them.
O, i think this is the perfect song lol.
John Lennons Isolation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xCXkqDGEoU
Twisted
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKIQSo7JbKQ
help or suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
This is my first post as well as my first topic starter. I am an 18 years old college student but I am almost 19. I’ve had these problems all my life, someday's I feel great others, not so great. There are loads of problems so I will list them lol. I don’t know if its social anxiety disorder because I never went to see a doctor about it.
1.I get nervous around large groups of people (just 1 person is enough to spook me). This is why its so difficult for me to go outside, I live in a huge city and there’s way to many people around. Even my long time friends make me uncomfroble.
2.My behavior at home fluctuates allot, one moment I’m sad than I’m happy and than I’m crying than laughing??
3. I have a problem controlling my facial expressions, for example. I would think I am smiling but I am actually giving a very angry evil expression. I think that’s why people tend to stay away from me.
4. Ive lost almost every friend I have ever made.
5. Im a recent type 1 diabetic
6.As a child (5-10) I was much more weird. Some of my childhood phobias include, a fear of highest, and a fear of jewelry, yes jewelry lol. I would collect remote controls. Than became a religious fanatic than all of the sudden I began hating god! Than I started twitching my toes, figures, face, everything. Than when I turned 13, I went to a special ed school that only had a 100 kids in it. You know those tiny school busses the kids make fun of calling it the "re re bus" I understand why now. I used to smack my head on the side of the busses window when I’m going home or to school. Than my eye twitches came back and it became my habit.
Those twitches resemble the symptoms of OCD I think. My favorite number back than was the number 4, and I did things over and over and over and over again. Even a certain thought had to be thought in fours. It drove me crazy, I began hitting myself because it was so damn painful. This is now what I believed caused me to feel extreme pain every time I think of something. I also have a hard time in school.
7.I am still afraid of jewelry
8. My memory is sooooo baad I mean sooo damn bad that I cant remember what I just ate. Its so hard just to remember what I said to someone after I have said only a couple of seconds ago. Sometimes it takes me 1-2 minutes to remember my birthday, and once I remember my birthdate, I than feel like thats not my brithday. Weird huh?
But the reason i am here is to ask for help or suggestions about my fear of people. I am in college right now, and was expecting I would make allot of new friends but as usual this isn’t working out for me. Im beginning to think that im not meant to have any friends, in other words I feel like a robot. Hell I even talk like a robot. Even when I get a new friend, I sometimes wished I hadn’t made friends with them at all.
Just walking down the street gives me nervous thoughts. I am afraid that someone might make fun of me, or look at me in a particular way. Im afraid that someone will laugh at me, or ask me a question that I wouldn’t know the answer to. So many thoughts go through my mind but I cannot control them, they just enter when they please and I can’t stop them.
O, i think this is the perfect song lol.
John Lennons Isolation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xCXkqDGEoU
Twisted
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKIQSo7JbKQ
help or suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
