I'm a 20 year old male and I'd say around the age of 13 or 14 I realized something in my life had changed. I was never shy, nervous, or worried. In fact, I look back and envy my old self. I was popular, people liked me, I made friends easily, life was good. I went through a period of depression, but I'm over that and now I'm just left with the hell that is SP.
I started to lose confidence in myself I guess. I'm not really sure what happened but it seems to me like I woke up one day and I was different.
Now, I consider myself pretty intelligent and stubborn. So for the past 7ish years I've tried and tried to figure out what exactly is wrong with me and why. I feel that I understand a lot more now, but I definitely have many unanswered questions. So I'm here to get ideas from those who suffer the same way I do.. It's a VERY long post but I figured I'd just get all my thoughts out on one rather than several smaller ones.
-Does anybody else get a weird feeling inside their head like it's going to implode when their SP is at it's worst? (For me, when I talk to an attractive female in a face-to-face conversation) If so, does anybody know what that feeling is and what would happen if I allowed it to continue and worsen without escaping the situation?
-Does anybody have a problem with eye contact? I just cannot seem to keep eye contact with anyone for more than about 2 seconds if that. Very awkward when talking to someone and I have to look away while still talking...
-Does anyone else notice other people who seem to have the same exact problems as you but don't even realize it? I noticed that some of my friends avoid eye contact, act weird when they seem nervous, etc...
-Has anybody experimented with marijuana? I used to smoke occasionally because I noticed it would help my depression temporarily and made me feel perfect but I believe that repeated, chronic marijuana use may be the sole reason for my SP now. For example, I can chill with my roommates for days on end and never feel too awkward but once I smoke with them I can hardly even stand to be in the same house. Then for a day or two my SP is way worse.
-Does anybody feel like their SP completely contradicts their inner thoughts? I have the strongest urge to meet everyone I can and I truly feel like I can up until I try to then the feeling inside my head (mentioned above) makes me do otherwise.
-I read that someone else on here thought that if they fixed the things they are self-conscious about they could overcome their SP. Well, I would have to completely agree with that. I think if I were able to fix my slightly crooked teeth and my receding hairline that I'd gain the confidence I'd need to freely talk to just about anyone. I would no longer think to myself "Am I smiling wide enough for them to see my teeth?" or "Do they think I look like a freak with a 40 year-old hairline when I'm 20?" Anybody else agree?
-Insomnia?
-For those who suffer, would you compare the torture of SP to that of a life-threatening disease or even worse? I'd say SP is the SINGLE WORST thing I could ever wish upon anyone. To me, it's almost like living through hell daily.
-Anyone go to school for psychology in hopes to learn about their own problems? I feel like learning about my problems may have made them worse?
-Lastly, I don't think I have ever met a female who I thought to have SP. That may just be because of my own SP that makes me sometimes avoid certain females. So if you're a female I'd love to hear your side of the story.
For now, I'll post this. I know I have probably 100 more questions that I'll think of but for now I'd love to hear the responses to these...
I started to lose confidence in myself I guess. I'm not really sure what happened but it seems to me like I woke up one day and I was different.
Now, I consider myself pretty intelligent and stubborn. So for the past 7ish years I've tried and tried to figure out what exactly is wrong with me and why. I feel that I understand a lot more now, but I definitely have many unanswered questions. So I'm here to get ideas from those who suffer the same way I do.. It's a VERY long post but I figured I'd just get all my thoughts out on one rather than several smaller ones.
-Does anybody else get a weird feeling inside their head like it's going to implode when their SP is at it's worst? (For me, when I talk to an attractive female in a face-to-face conversation) If so, does anybody know what that feeling is and what would happen if I allowed it to continue and worsen without escaping the situation?
-Does anybody have a problem with eye contact? I just cannot seem to keep eye contact with anyone for more than about 2 seconds if that. Very awkward when talking to someone and I have to look away while still talking...
-Does anyone else notice other people who seem to have the same exact problems as you but don't even realize it? I noticed that some of my friends avoid eye contact, act weird when they seem nervous, etc...
-Has anybody experimented with marijuana? I used to smoke occasionally because I noticed it would help my depression temporarily and made me feel perfect but I believe that repeated, chronic marijuana use may be the sole reason for my SP now. For example, I can chill with my roommates for days on end and never feel too awkward but once I smoke with them I can hardly even stand to be in the same house. Then for a day or two my SP is way worse.
-Does anybody feel like their SP completely contradicts their inner thoughts? I have the strongest urge to meet everyone I can and I truly feel like I can up until I try to then the feeling inside my head (mentioned above) makes me do otherwise.
-I read that someone else on here thought that if they fixed the things they are self-conscious about they could overcome their SP. Well, I would have to completely agree with that. I think if I were able to fix my slightly crooked teeth and my receding hairline that I'd gain the confidence I'd need to freely talk to just about anyone. I would no longer think to myself "Am I smiling wide enough for them to see my teeth?" or "Do they think I look like a freak with a 40 year-old hairline when I'm 20?" Anybody else agree?
-Insomnia?
-For those who suffer, would you compare the torture of SP to that of a life-threatening disease or even worse? I'd say SP is the SINGLE WORST thing I could ever wish upon anyone. To me, it's almost like living through hell daily.
-Anyone go to school for psychology in hopes to learn about their own problems? I feel like learning about my problems may have made them worse?
-Lastly, I don't think I have ever met a female who I thought to have SP. That may just be because of my own SP that makes me sometimes avoid certain females. So if you're a female I'd love to hear your side of the story.
For now, I'll post this. I know I have probably 100 more questions that I'll think of but for now I'd love to hear the responses to these...
