Sick text messages

[Vincent]

Does anyone else under massive stress / anxiety find relief through sending disgusting text messages?

My friend just got back from Canada, a friend of his has slept with his girlfriend in the past and him with hers. Because I was new to their scene, I took cues from that? Subconsciously maybe. Anyway, yesterday I sent him a filthy text message saying that I had dirty sick sex with his girlfriend in his absence. Why??? I am so fucken angry with myself for sabotaging one of the few friendships I posess. But I just can't understand why I did it. It was me, I wasn't drunk.

What I was doing at the time, was at Subway, sunglasses on, SAI manual open and a world of hurting between my ears from a very tough Uni orientation. Is that why I did it? My reasoning was suspended from this pressure? Is that what anxiety does? Doesn't let you think clearly? Am I trying subconsciously to confirm my conscious beliefs about myself?

Does anyone else have this tendency?

I've always used shock as a means to alliviate pressure from myself. Abet it morbid or sexual perversion. Anything to give me an identity aside from the lack of.

 

[Quixote]

Does anyone else have this tendency?

Personally not, and I wouldn't know what to suggest. It doesn't look like something very easy to fix... Maybe you could still "get away" with it by telling him that you were completely drunk, I know it's not pleasant to lie to a friend but honestly I don't think telling the truth would be a good idea in this case.

As for the rest, I suppose you are feeling a bit worried about your mental health, but you are probably fine, our mind is a complex mechanism and it may have a few seconds of unexplainable disfunctioning from time to time. As long as you don't reiterate this kind of behaviour, you are probably perfectly fine.

 

[SouthernBelle]

I have never had an urge like that

My sister has done something similar and continues to do so. She sends bizarre text messages to ex boyfriends and friends. She said its because she has manic depression and sometimes when shes feeling angry she sends them.

I think its out of anger because once she's calmed down i know she doesnt mean to have done what shes done.

Do you have mood swings which go up and down? Maybe its manic depression with the SA?

Hope this helps, xx

 

[Emma]

// 8O

 

[crazyfairyx]

I don't know if this suggestion will help at all, but maybe you should just not top up your phone again? Or get a bolt on (O2, orange ect probably have different offers) so all your credit can only be spent on calls. Also, you could get a notebook and write any nasty things you want to say down, get it out of you but not show it to anyone else.

 

[Vincent]

aftermath

Thankyou for your great feedback. Crazyfairy, I like your suggestion about not topping up, however, its not practical for me, as I need my phone. Notebook would be good, actually, I do that with poetry. Write about anxiety, self loathing etc.

Southernbelle, I think you put your finger on it. Mood swings, or otherwise could be called anxiety attacks. I tend to forget that anxiety levels go up and down, seeing as like most on this site, I have generalised social anxiety. I was looking for a way to vent at the time. I'd just put myself through the massive trama of Uni Orientation and making conversation with strangers, then I was doing it again directly afterwards. Anxiety certainly does go up and down, and after it goes down, we are left with adrenaline and cortisol.

Fortunately my mate has got over it and I can still head out with him and his girl this weekend. Actually, he told me he was exchanging Doramon magnets for sexual favours with his girl. So when I gave him my collection to give to her, he joked (in her presence) about her giving me some head. That as well as a close friend of his slept with her when they were still together and they have both cheated on one another at various times. But still, I don't want to take the level of filth to a new low, and knowing that the backlash from angst will cause me to do that, puts a saftey check on suspended rationality.

Thanks for your comments.
:wink:

 

[scatmantom]

all i can say is if u have been drinking keep ur phone in your pocket cos u will end up txting things u regret (talking from experience).