Shyness with opposite gender

[Blackmagic479]

I've just been in a situation where someone took the only girl I was semi interested in. My shyness prevented me from intervening in getting this girl. Some guy less shy than me just took the girl I wanted. How do you prevent this from happening... I find that this happens all the time, someone is always out to steal the girl I want that night. How do I prevent this from happening? What is the proper way to tell someone to f' off of your girl? Right now I feel really heart torn, the girl that I think I might have an actual chance just disappeared with another guy. When do you shy people get a girl, probably never... It's starting to really get on my nerves. We shy people never get our dream person. How come people constantly mess with us? I'm getting really sick of people taking advantage of us.

 

[4seasons]

Yeeep, sorry to hear that bro. This happend to me twice, I told you about one time. Someone hook us up with some advice before this shit happens again....it really sucks ass.

 

[Blackmagic479]

I don't know how many rejections I can take. I don't know how long I can wait until the "right" girl will be with me. I don't even think any girl is meant for me. My life is spiraling down to nothingness. What's the point of life If you can't even communicate with the opposite sex.

 

[bletch]

How do I prevent this from happening? What is the proper way to tell someone to f' off of your girl?

You ask her out before he does. I mean, she's not really "your girl" in any sense here...

 

[ripewithdecay]

Bring a little tube of ex-lax around with you or something and sabotage the bastard's drink when he's not looking.

 

[Blackmagic479]

That's an interesting suggestion. I was the guy pouring drinks too, good advice. That still doesn't solve the problem of me being shy though.

 

[Carstuar]

Bring a little tube of ex-lax around with you or something and sabotage the bastard's drink when he's not looking.

lol! I'm not accepting drinks from anyone from now on!

 

[ghost_train]

haha. can you imagine an SA house party- there'd be shit everywhere.

But I totally identify with this. It has got to be one of the most devastating things- when you see that a girl likes you, you like her, but so do a bunch of other guys. and it's one of those other guys that eventually win her over as she occasionally glances at you looking concerned/disappointed thinking "why doesn't he like me?". fuck.

 

[AlinaGirl]

I can speak for the other side, at least. I'm a girl, I'm shy, and I do encounter a lot of shy guys at my college. One reason that a girl might go with the swoop-in, aggressive kind of guy could be because she didn't know the shy guy was interested. She doesn't want to feel rejected either, so if someone asks her, she often jumps at the chance.

But I understand what you mean. That has happened to me with guys. I can tell a guy is interested, yet because I don't give him enough encouragement or show that I'm interested in him, then boom! I see him suddenly getting a girlfriend, or talking to another girl. And I'm left trying to figure out what on earth just happened.

 

[Kien]

Others has as much right ot the girl as you have.

 

[4seasons]

Others has as much right ot the girl as you have.

That wasn't the point.

 

[Kien]

Others has as much right ot the girl as you have.

That wasn't the point.

Uhm oki. (O,o)

 

[erika]

Yea I agree with AlinaGirl, Blackmagic. But don't beat yourself up over one girl. They may not last long anyhow and you still could have a chance. And if not then you can learn from this and hopefully next time get the girl!

I know it isn't easy to ask someone out, I never could either. But the thing you have to think about is what is worse.........the girl saying no, or not asking when she actually could have said yes, but lost the chance to another guy?

I fell hard for this guy before and I never would tell him I liked him, and he never said anything to me. So I just let it go, cause I was afraid, and I thought if he felt the same he would ask me. Well he eventually got married, and my mom told him that I really had liked him, and he said "REALLY" I never knew. And if I would have asked him out he would probably have said yes.

It is a risk either way, asking or not asking someone out.

 

[coriander1992]

Well obviously the only way to stop that happening is to get in there first!

The other guy didn't waste any time, and he got the girl! If you really want her you've just got to go for it, no matter how hard it is.

 

[ReVeR]

i have manged to talk to a good amount of girls throughout my life
and when i look back at this i realized i had maybe 3 or 4 wonderful girls that i had a chance to ask out and yet i never got to do it. i would always warm a girl up for a relationship but i guess they would think i would never ask them out (just as it was happening ) so they continued dating other guys.

once they would find a boyfriend it would kill me inside to see this other bastard with the girl i wanted, i always thought they weren't even half the person i was and yet they were together all because i was too damn shy

fuck, i screwed up again... i

 

[JustAnotherDay]

The obvious problem is your shyness. The only way to get the girl you want would be by losing the shyness. Its not some mental disorder impossible to overcome.. It basically just not feeling comftrable with girls because either you never talk to them or you dont push youself to. Expossing yourself and being more outgoing with girls will make it more and more easier to get over it. You cant skip over the problem and expect to get what you want. You should just make a big effort to be around girls more to understand them and realize that there's nothing to be shy about.

 

[Carstuar]

My shyness is mainly with authority figures and strangers in general. Gender does not matter to me.

 

[skapunk23]

It basically just not feeling comftrable with girls because either you never talk to them or you dont push youself to. Expossing yourself and being more outgoing with girls will make it more and more easier to get over it.

but what if one is mortally afraid of coming off as a complete fool? i don't trust myself enough to let myself provoke a conversation with a girl. i'm pretty sure that this is the root of my shyness.