SHYNESS AT WORK HELP!!!!

[sl3vin]

I've been working at the hospital for about 3 years now. I'm the secretary to the nurses and I am extremely shy at work. I don't know if it's because I feel less poweful than they are or if it's because some of them are a lot older than me so i don't know what to say to them...But I really don't know how to keep a conversation at work or even talk to them at all. This problem consumes me when I get off work and I only work 1 day a week because I am avoiding at all costs seeing them more than that. I've tried to smile all day or say hello to everyone, but it doens't work anymore because no one sparks up a long converstation with me anyways because they know how I am. That I just don't talk to them. I sit at the desk and tend to my work and try to avoid talking to the nurses at all costs. Sometimes I have good days but lately I've been feeling more bad after work because of this. Should I get professional help about this. I mean I'm a overall shy person, but I also go to school and SOMETIMES in school I'm able to meet new people in class etc. But it's just the work thing that is frustrating me. I feel like a fly on the wall at work because everyone is so use to me not talking that no one wants to conversate with me at all. I also feel bad when the secretary for the next shift comes on because all the nurses know she has a great personality and they all talk to her and say hi to her, but like I said with me I'm just a fly on the wall... What do I do??? Also the nurses at work talk behind each others back and I don't want to get caught up in that...So I do a lot of listening and no talking... I hate being like this at work...I have friends at work but they don't work in my department I dont want the people in my department to think I"m stuck up or something cuz I talk to other workers and not them....

.Another thing I hate that is off the subject is when I go out to a restaurant or store and I need help or need another drink or something I don't tell them unless they ask me because I am too scared or shy to ask them....

 

[2QuietForThem]

Believe me, you are not alone. You did put a good foot forward in saying hello and smiling. That’s more than I could ever do! Anyway, keep doing it. The nurses probably realize that you’re not outgoing like they are and they accept it. I bet if you were to overhear one of them speak about your personality, you’d find that they have nothing bad to say. Don’t stress about what you think they’re feeling about you. Trust me on this, they have there own problems, and whether or not you talk is not of them. Sounds to me like you’re doing fine at work. About the stores and restaurants, I have the same problem as you. In restaurants, when you get the waiter’s/waitresses eye, hold your glass a little in the air. They’ll come over. In stores, I feel that I don’t see something, then they must not have it for me to buy. I just look thoroughly around for the item I want. I hate to bother people. Someone else in the forum needs to pick up from here.

 

[Hamboy]

I know the feeling exactly... I too come across as very shy in alot of situations. There are people you are going to gel with and there are some that just arent. A good place to start is the weather. Just casually drop in the fact that its warm, raining etc. No need to prod into too many private details. even if the conversation does not go anywhere it often doesnt really, At least you cant say you didn't try. I find that older people are often much more understanding than young people and are quite good at acommodating shy people. hence my work friends (people i can actually talk to with some ease are much older than me). Hang in there!!!!

 

[LittleMissScareAll]

I don't usually talk to anyone at work, except a couple of the older women there who talk to me occasionally. And I got my kitten from a woman I work with so for awhile I talked to her a little bit, about cats.
And there's one girl just a few years older than me who gave me some cd's because she didn't like them and she knew I liked metal/heavier music, so she'd come and talk to me some but there's no one I talk to on a regular basis, except those 2 women who know my mom really well and I pretty much always say "hi" & "bye" to them. But otherwise I usually sit alone on breaks...I even go sit back at my desk before everyone else, because I have nothing else to do/no one to talk to. So I just sit alone to pass the time.

 

[rj32093]

I know excalty how you feel, I have been trough that, I worked at an office woth just a few people, sometimes they would all go out for lunch and no one asked me to join because they know I would say no. Sometimes I felt really bad because I see how all the other girls talked to each other and joke around and I couln't do that. No I work from home and makes my work so much easier but I am less social now. I also wish for help with my shyness, does anyone know where I can go for help? Don't get me worng, this is a great website, it helps to get all my emotions and feelings out and know that I am not the only shy person in the world. :wink:

 

[java]

I can be so shy at work, but only with certain people. I can talk away happily to the secretaries, but i am just totally stumped when i have to start a conversation with one of the guys. My team i work with are very outgoing and like a joke, and i do find most of the chat really funny but i just cant join in. I dont want them to think i am shy, i know i am shy but i dont want that label. I am trying my dam hardest to join in conversations but most of my conversation starters are rank! Doesnt help when the other secretary i work with is so loud and outgoing and can get chatting about anything to the guys.

 

[silentangel]

ive been working in an office environment for almost a year now, an the only people i can talk to is my 2 supervisors, the 2 accounting ppl and the receptionist. and most of the time its mainly hello how are you, ok bye.....
its hard to really engage in a converstation with ppl here at work coz im pretty sure the moment i open my mouth something stupid will fall out. i really have to think very carefully what my next sentence is gonna be. funny tho when they walk away all the things i was really meaning to say comes rushing over me.. pretty idiotic hey

 

[n0id]

I have also worked at the hospital. My job was to replace old windows xp computers with new and more powerfull windows vista computers.
A boring job, but still fun because I got to learn and use windows vista

Anyway I have the same problem as you. We worked in a team and when I started everyone knew eachother in the team. I felt left out.

I got into contact with one of them quite well, but he found a new job and quit shortly after I joined

Anyway I got to talk to him about my condition.
He said "The others probably don't talk with you because they are not aware that you seek attention. They probably believe that because you are silent all the time, you are not the kind of person who would be able to keep a conversation going. So they don't even bother trying. I think they are waiting for you to take the first step."

So I will say the same thing to you.

Also, know that you are not alone having this problem.
It sucks, but somehow we have been able to manage.

 

[Heavy]

Do you call this suffering!!!!!

Hi there, I have got exactly the same symptoms you have, even worse, I am a teacher! and I have got te deal with students who don't respect who I am cuz they really know how I behave when I get inside the class room


I envy you all out there.

People like me have medical supervision in the west but here, in the Middle East , They take us to " Experts" who kick the s.. out of us to kill the devils that haunt us. I have not been diagnosed yet, although I have suffered since I was 4 years old!


It is the Wonderland here:


Hitler was a hero who fought for freedom!

Girls mustn't go to school, those who send thei daughters to school are : PIMPS!!!!!!!!!!



yOU HAVE GOT TO FEEL LUCKY DARLING, YOU SUFFER NOTHING. :wink:

 

[zlench]

I have the same problem at work I speak to a couple of people and only when people speak to me.