sexual abuse-childhood

C

confusednewbie

Member
Hello, I'm new to this whole blog thing. I have OCD, I've been dealing with it for quite some time, and althought I'm getting therapy for a few months now I feel like I won't be able to make a recovery unless I get help for another issue that still haunts me.

When I was little I was sexually abused, I have been hiding it since then, and now I'm in my 20's. The therapy has made me come to realise that maybe this wasn't my fault and maybe I can get help for it. When I try tackling my OCD the abuse keeps coming back to haunt me and I just hit a brick wall.

Anyone went through child abuse and have OCD? Did coming out about the abuse help your recovery? I don't want to expose myself if it won't help. I know OCD is more about the present and not looking into the past for "why"
 
Morgan01

Morgan01

Well-known member
No I think that makes sense.. OCD has a lot to do with trying to regin control if you had a chaotic childhood.. most the time when you have OCD you had a chaotic life growing up and had no control. I was sexually abused when I was 13.. so not really a small child. So I think it has some to do with it probably. Don't know if coming out will help with the OCD though.. but you should definitely talk to someone about it
 
dooby-duck

dooby-duck

Well-known member
I'ts a good question, something I've been thinking about for a while, but I've got no answers. I don't know if I'd be able to do it to be honest.
 
C

confusednewbie

Member
Thanks all, I'm having a really difficult time with all this, I wish I was still in denial with the OCD, and the abuse, its too much, I think its messing me up pretty bad, I'm feeling way worse off than I did before... I'm really scared about whats happening to me, it doesn't feel like recovery at all
 
C

confusednewbie

Member
Coming out helps! hearing your posts however small also helps! please don't be scared posting! I need all the help I can get! I appreciate it all!
 
dooby-duck

dooby-duck

Well-known member
I've kept this stuff deeply buried away at the back of my mind for twenty odd years. I persuaded myself that it had little effect on me and the way I am. Over the years I have built a massive wall around these memories to keep them inside away from me and anyone else. I've never told anyone and I don't think I ever could. I don't think I could live with family members knowing. Then I put up a wall to protect myself from people. I can't let people in, I want to but I just can't. It's like the gates are locked shut, I can talk to people through the gates at a safe distance but I can't let them in.

At the moment I couldn't face telling anyone, not even a doctor. The memories just bring up too much negative emotion. I can appreciate how hard it must be to talk to someone about it and how scary it must be to have to go back over what happened back then.
 
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