Peter82
New member
Hi, I'm new here. I am from Gothenburg, Sweden and I have SP. I've made some progress with situations I prev. had problems with, and want to share some tips. For me, training and exposure to the frightening things is the only that has had a good effect on me. Try to "reprogram" your brain, so that it knows there is no danger. Just like you afraid of spiders or heights. For me, instead of just feeling afraid in a situation, I "take control", I realise the fear is there, but try to not let it control me. I control the fear. What am I afraid of what can I do to stop it. I know this can be scary, but if you gradually exspose yourself, it will become easier to do so.
Create positive mantras, write them down or keep repeating them.
1. Something to start with, take a walk and ask a person what the time is. A neutral question, and a natural situation. It's also short, so you might not have the time to blush or have a "bad" reaction.
After a while, step it up and asking someone who hasn't their their watch on them. They probably have a cellphone so you have stay there untill they fish the phone from a pocket.
2. Ask for directions. Ask for a place you already know, to make it easier. Shoose something not to oscure or far away, and perhaps not to visible either, that might seem "stupid". You will train on making contact and staying and talking to a stranger. As long as you are polite in your questions chances are you will have a positive "reward".
3. Go to a warehouse, example an electronics store and ask a salesperson for directions or help. I'm myself on lookout for a new DVDplayer and cellphone, so I've used this to booth train and get useful information. This is a very good way to train conversation because it's a natural sitution, and it will most likely go very well because it's their JOB to be NICE TO PEOPLE. You are the customer and have the power of purchase.
This has helped me, because prev I could get so fucused on myself and my actions that I didn't listen to the other person. My fear isn't gone entirerly, but it has become better.
I also keep a small notebook on my so I can write down things go well.
Also, If you fear a sitution. Take a moment and write down the things your think can go "wrong", list how likely that is to happen. Putting it on paper can help you make it more concreat and it's also easier to see if you make progress.
Also as a side note, because of my SP I don't have a large social network, so I would like to have a online friend or friends. We might not be able to meet in person, but we can keep in touch online. Man or woman doesn't matter, pref around 20ths. Someone from the USA, Canada or England would be nice, but anywhere is fine.
I wish everyone a happy day!
Peter, Sweden
Create positive mantras, write them down or keep repeating them.
1. Something to start with, take a walk and ask a person what the time is. A neutral question, and a natural situation. It's also short, so you might not have the time to blush or have a "bad" reaction.
After a while, step it up and asking someone who hasn't their their watch on them. They probably have a cellphone so you have stay there untill they fish the phone from a pocket.
2. Ask for directions. Ask for a place you already know, to make it easier. Shoose something not to oscure or far away, and perhaps not to visible either, that might seem "stupid". You will train on making contact and staying and talking to a stranger. As long as you are polite in your questions chances are you will have a positive "reward".
3. Go to a warehouse, example an electronics store and ask a salesperson for directions or help. I'm myself on lookout for a new DVDplayer and cellphone, so I've used this to booth train and get useful information. This is a very good way to train conversation because it's a natural sitution, and it will most likely go very well because it's their JOB to be NICE TO PEOPLE. You are the customer and have the power of purchase.
This has helped me, because prev I could get so fucused on myself and my actions that I didn't listen to the other person. My fear isn't gone entirerly, but it has become better.
I also keep a small notebook on my so I can write down things go well.
Also, If you fear a sitution. Take a moment and write down the things your think can go "wrong", list how likely that is to happen. Putting it on paper can help you make it more concreat and it's also easier to see if you make progress.
Also as a side note, because of my SP I don't have a large social network, so I would like to have a online friend or friends. We might not be able to meet in person, but we can keep in touch online. Man or woman doesn't matter, pref around 20ths. Someone from the USA, Canada or England would be nice, but anywhere is fine.
I wish everyone a happy day!
Peter, Sweden