helpplease
New member
Let me first start by saying that I've been diagnosed with GAD with strong components of OCD.
Everything started when I was about 10 years old, I remember watching a medical story with my mom about breast cancer..well after watching the show I became absolutely convinced that I have breast cancer (its ridiculous seeing as I was only 10 at the time). Well my mother probably thought I was crazy..the more my mom tried to reassure me that there is no way that I could have breast cancer the more convinced I became that I did have it, finally my mom took me to the doctor, she finally convinced me that I do not have cancer.
The second major episode I had was when I went to high school (we live in a small town, most of my friends and I went to kindergarden together and stayed together untill grade 7). Well my parents decided to send me to another high school (instead of our local high school where all my friends were going) so it was an extremely hard transission for me seeing as I didn't know one person on the first day of school, I became depressed, I lost alot of weight and cried everyday, I begged my parents everyday and night to rather send me to our local high school. My mom gave me a pill each morning (she told me that it was only vitamins, later I found out that it was pill to calm me down to just get me through the day without having a breakdown).
Well a few months into high school everything started to look better, untill I stepped on a broken bottle and it cut my foot. All of the sudden I was convinced that I now had HIV..my parents told me that you can not contract the virus by stepping on a broken bottle, once again..no matter what anybody told me, I could not get the idea out of my head that I had Hiv, this "thing"took my life over completely to the level that I could not function, the thought got stuck in my head and I COULD NOT GET RID OF IT!!Finally after a few months it seemed that I just woke one morning and I was normal again.
The last and current episode started a few months ago, it started with a dream I had, well in the dream I had once again hiv. Since that one dream everything flared up again, I was exactly back in high school, but this time it was so bad that I actually went to the doctor for a blood test, finally the result came back, it was negative. I just was not able to accept it seeing as I was so sure that I had contracted it somehow, thoughts like "the doctor is lying to me" "maybe they swithced my results with someone else's" started going through my head, finally my fiancee (in his attempt to help me also went for a blood test (obviously if he had hiv then I would also have it) his was also negative.
As soon as I was finally able to accept the fact that I do not have hiv, the breast cancer thought came back. After I went for an ultra sound (they told me that a mammogram would not be effective because the breast tissue is to dense in young woman) I was able to put thought/fear to bed.
Well this is the newest of my troubles, also the hardest up to now. My dad had two brothers and my mom has one sister and had a brother also, my dad's brother died in a car accident at the age of 21 (my dad's brother was the middle child) my mom's brother also died at the age of 21 (he was also the middle child) both in car accidents. Well I have two brothers and I'm the middle child (I turned 21 almost 4 months ago), so now I'v become convinced that I would not live to see 22 seeing as I'm the middle child.
Can anyone please help me??? Is there anyone who has been through something like this??
Everything started when I was about 10 years old, I remember watching a medical story with my mom about breast cancer..well after watching the show I became absolutely convinced that I have breast cancer (its ridiculous seeing as I was only 10 at the time). Well my mother probably thought I was crazy..the more my mom tried to reassure me that there is no way that I could have breast cancer the more convinced I became that I did have it, finally my mom took me to the doctor, she finally convinced me that I do not have cancer.
The second major episode I had was when I went to high school (we live in a small town, most of my friends and I went to kindergarden together and stayed together untill grade 7). Well my parents decided to send me to another high school (instead of our local high school where all my friends were going) so it was an extremely hard transission for me seeing as I didn't know one person on the first day of school, I became depressed, I lost alot of weight and cried everyday, I begged my parents everyday and night to rather send me to our local high school. My mom gave me a pill each morning (she told me that it was only vitamins, later I found out that it was pill to calm me down to just get me through the day without having a breakdown).
Well a few months into high school everything started to look better, untill I stepped on a broken bottle and it cut my foot. All of the sudden I was convinced that I now had HIV..my parents told me that you can not contract the virus by stepping on a broken bottle, once again..no matter what anybody told me, I could not get the idea out of my head that I had Hiv, this "thing"took my life over completely to the level that I could not function, the thought got stuck in my head and I COULD NOT GET RID OF IT!!Finally after a few months it seemed that I just woke one morning and I was normal again.
The last and current episode started a few months ago, it started with a dream I had, well in the dream I had once again hiv. Since that one dream everything flared up again, I was exactly back in high school, but this time it was so bad that I actually went to the doctor for a blood test, finally the result came back, it was negative. I just was not able to accept it seeing as I was so sure that I had contracted it somehow, thoughts like "the doctor is lying to me" "maybe they swithced my results with someone else's" started going through my head, finally my fiancee (in his attempt to help me also went for a blood test (obviously if he had hiv then I would also have it) his was also negative.
As soon as I was finally able to accept the fact that I do not have hiv, the breast cancer thought came back. After I went for an ultra sound (they told me that a mammogram would not be effective because the breast tissue is to dense in young woman) I was able to put thought/fear to bed.
Well this is the newest of my troubles, also the hardest up to now. My dad had two brothers and my mom has one sister and had a brother also, my dad's brother died in a car accident at the age of 21 (my dad's brother was the middle child) my mom's brother also died at the age of 21 (he was also the middle child) both in car accidents. Well I have two brothers and I'm the middle child (I turned 21 almost 4 months ago), so now I'v become convinced that I would not live to see 22 seeing as I'm the middle child.
Can anyone please help me??? Is there anyone who has been through something like this??