SA causing increasing anger and violence :(

[whit3tig3y]

I have a problem where i know im annoying people with the things i do.. i know its my fault.. and i know they want to talk to me less and less.. but over the last year or so... ive become hating them. i have a problem where i cant help but tell people things about my life that they dont need to know.. arguments bf and i have, great idea's i have, boring things like that. and i've noticed that a few of them have started blocking me on the office instant messenger.. and i know why they do it, and i would probably do the same thing if someone did this to me... but i really do hate them for it. and i feel like i want to hurt them or for them to suffer. i could never hurt someone, i never have and never will. but it scares me that inside my head i think these things, i want them to happen. and i enjoy when they get sick, or if something bad happens to them. ofcourse i dont show it, but inside i like it. i feel so bad, i feel worried that if there is an entity out there (i dont have a religion) they are going to know im thinking these things and be very angry with me. and its not just work people, i do the same thing to my partner. i love him, i REALLY love him, but sometimes i litterally want him dead. for the smallest of things.

i also have the problem of creating arguments out of absolutely nothing and then wanting to hurt this person because i made up something in my head or twisted some words to make an argument.

does anyone else do this? i dont know of anyone that does and it really is worrying me.

 

[Depressed4life]

Hey, I am no expert but just make sure you know something very important that a lot of people don't seen to understand. The problem ITS not YOU, remember that is your brain thats making you do this things. Always, always remember that and please don't do anything stupid or that you will regret later on. I know how you feel, about the anger and bad thoughts, this can happen to a lot of us. I will however, suggest you to seek help before this gets out of hand. I know this is irrelevant but the majority of the crimes done in the world are due to hunger, poverty, corruption and because of psychological problems. PLEASE GET HELP or at least try. Take care.

 

[blonderedhead]

Awwww.... you actually sound so innocent and harmless! First let me say that talking about your life isn't boring or annoying. We all need to vent sometimes and definitely need someone who can listen and be supportive. When you don't have that then of course you are going to get frustrated, hurt, etc... So I think its normal to be upset. About having harmful thoughts, well you said yourself you wouldn't actually do it, but I can see how it would worry you. I'm not sure about what advice to give on how to put an end to these thoughts. Because I, myself do actually get really angry but for different reasons, and it is hard to have control over, but I guess just take some time out to breathe and try to look at the situation rationally and try to stay aware that its just a moment and it will pass. You'll get through this and good luck!