Risk-taking to cure SA

[icefox]

Hey guys, I'm wondering your opinion on this. I was wondering what you thought about how "general risk-taking" would have a positive effect on social anxiety. The reason being, because you're getting exposed to "some" kind of risk would cause you to become more immune to risk in general, thus causing you to become more daring. And that includes being more daring in social situations. So taking risks like that one song that says "I'll go skydivin', rocky mountain climbin'... to live like you were dying". Any risk at all that makes you feel nervous before you do it, and may have you saying affirmations to get motivated to do it. As long as it's not an illegal risk, ya know (although those would definitely be the ones that would make you feel more confident, don't recommend tho). It's just a thought that occured to me today and i would like to hear what you guys think about this. Thanks.

p.s. Isn't it funny how "bad boys" and "bad girls" always seem to be so outgoing socially? As if one goes with the other.

 

[boodizm]

Risk-taking is like a double-edged sword it WILL help you if you can make it through OK but you may be setting yourself up for failure which can set you back, it always used to for me, but now i'm having greater success. Take your time and take small risks when you think you are ready and only you will know this.
I think the risk must be remotely 'doable' or not impossible in your mind. It is that small bit of confidence that you will hang onto when you are doubting yourself and try to help it grow. Visualise this if you have to.

btw, in regards to the posts below,i am talking about social risk taking and not in general. general risk taking seems easy in comparison.

 

[testobot]

Naw, I don't think so. I used to shoplift, skateboard, and fly airplanes as a teenager-- and no, I am no I am not suggesting going out shoplifting- yes, it was stupid and wrong- no matter what morrisey says ...

For me I felt that I had a certain amount of skill or controll in those non-social things. My problem is obviously social in nature-- particularly conversation. I do not feel especially skilled or have much controll over my mind blanking out and me fumbling words or having little to say when I feel scared in social situation. Nor, did I used to feel that I had much controll when people made fun of my stress or awkwardness.

 

[icefox]

Yeah, after I went thinking long on hard on risk-taking, I have to agree with both you guys 100%. I think for one, one could be the most risk-taking person in the world...but still have a fear of spiders. So, like you are saying, it's something that you cannot avoid, it's just something that happens in your mind that you can't help. However, after some thinking, I now maintain with these two attitudes:

The ideal attitude is to do your best at all times, but not care about the outcome.

The second best attitude to have is to do your best at all times, but be just powerful enough to take the emotional blows that a failure has to offer.

Like I said, I believe that if you have a definite psychological fear, then you will always care about the outcome, no matter what you do. But, I think practicing the second best attitude will eventually lead to attaining the first ideal attitude. Even in conversation I think it would work, as I really stink in convo too, I get scatterbrained and say non-sensical things all the time, truly embarrasing. I've even gotten laughed at by someone that I paid to do handy work in my own house!

p.s. The second best attitude is kinda like here, I give my opinion to the best of my ability, and yes I do care about whether you'll agree with me or not, but I must be powerful in case you disagree, for I desired to get my opinion across.

 

[LemonKiss]

I wish risk taking did make me less socially anxious! I took up skateboarding, thinking I'd gain a confidence but I didn't. Booo Hooo I feel so weak.

 

[testobot]

I wish risk taking did make me less socially anxious! I took up skateboarding, thinking I'd gain a confidence but I didn't. Booo Hooo I feel so weak.

Don't cry, it will be ok.


I am confused....where did that come from? lol... I acutually suggested most general forms of risk taking does nothing for a particular form of phobia.

"A snide remark, snobby look, minute failure is all it takes for the crying to start."

 

[icefox]

Oh are you talkin to me? Lol. Yeah I know general forms of risk taking wont do anything for a particular phobia. I mean risk taking only in the phobia that you have, the one that you're workin on. I was sayin that if you use the right attitude you can work yourself up to perfection. I actually tried it today, as an experiment for me and you guys, to see if that attitude affirmation would work. And so far I've only been gettin positive results. I started with small social risks, reciting the affirmation right before AND after I took the social risk. It was hard, but I was able to take the pain, but I was grittin my teeth and groaning, I was like "grrrr! you can take it, you can take it!" Lol. Cuz saying I was powerful enough convinced me that I can take the pain of messin up in conversation. It overrided my emotions to a degree. After a while, I was like this is some good stuff here, I wonder if this affirmation can apply to "this", or "this", etc. I don't know if this will work for you, but this is DEFINITELY helping me right now.

Oh yeah, and if you're still confused, feel free to tell me anything. We've got all day. :lol:

 

[testobot]

lol.. no, I wasn't talking to you and I am not confused. Your modification..hehe.. to your first post did make perfect sense. And yes, I agree positive affirmation is a good first step towards taking on a risk and (hopefully) ultimate desensitization.
Of course, I think it's a good idea to take small steps on the desensitization thingy.. cuz, as you might already be aware of, if you take on more than you can handle and you end up failing then you may set yourself back even further. Your idea of sorta 'innoculating' yourself against making failures seem significant is also a good suggestion, but there is some debate going on here that that may be at the crux of SA-- fear of failure, fear of rejection, etc. As always, thinking rationally is easier said than done when you have a phobia... of course that is one of the main points of CBT. Now if I can keep my fears (of humiliation, judgement, and ultimately failure and rejection) from overcomming my motivation in the first place..hmmmm
Ugh! SAD is so stupid and tiring!

 

[Quixote]

I think having SA actually makes me more prone to risk taking. For example I went climbing in the Alps just yesterday. Maybe it's a general attitude of people who are not very satisfied with their life: after all you don't have much to lose... But it doesn't make the problem any better, except immediately afterwards, when you are so relieved of being out of danger that you can't care less about anything else.

But if you mean social risk taking for the purpose of desensitizing, yes I agree it can work, even though I think the reduction in axiety comes at a price: it is difficult to desensitize to the negative part of social interaction only. So if you work on yourself in order to become indifferent to the opinions of others, or in a deeper way from the feelings that the company of other people inevitably induces, you may end up loosing interest in social interaction in the first place, which doesn't help.

That is at least what seems to happen to me. I try hard not to be bothered by others, and then I am not bothered even when they are being friendly.

 

[icefox]

Oh, it wasn't me! My bad haha. 8) Well, at least it helped to explain my point clearer, make it dummy proof lol. Yeah, I'm beginning to realize now how good affirmations really are, as you said. But I think that not all affirmations are created equal, some are indeed better than others. Like saying "you are feeling confident right now", I don't think that's very powerful, it's too vague. So really the trick is finding the right one, and more specifically, the one that suits YOU, for one may not work for another person. So you need to do your homework :wink: .

Hey quixote, I think one way to know whether you are targeting the negative part of social interaction is simply by asking yourself "is this easy or hard for me to do?" If it's hard, that's the direction ya want to go buddy! It's those hard tasks which are gold. Those are the ones which will make you stronger every time.

 

[socratic]

:idea:

 

[Crazy]

...

 

[black_mamba]

I used to be scared of heights, so i took up indoor rock climbing, 6 months later i wasnt scared of heights no more. Id climb to the top of the wall, 2 stories high, with no rope and jump off, just to prove i could. It improved my confidence.....
The whole problem is in your head, its upto you to learn how your mind works and undo the years of negative thinking that has moulded your mind. Once you can see your thoughts clearly, you just understand why you feel fear, it becomes rationalised and youre less likely to panic or blush.

Spot on. :wink:

The best way to stop fear it to face that worry, and then learn to realise it was based on a bunch of misconceptions.

I'm (don't laugh!) quite scared of the dark because of my over active imagination - my partner always tells me how he would just move into any darkness that scared him, to help him realise it was safe. I tried so hard, but I was so dumb-struck by fear that I couldn't face walking around my flat in pitch blackness.

One day I will just not give a damn and go through with it, and it'll feel ok. I've done this with social situations too, but I'm loosing my courage to try things like talk to strangers. I think this is where light medication can help in giving you that gentle push, take a risk, and ultimately realise how simple social situations can be if we stay calm and stop over-analysing them.

On a side note, when I used to do something that scared me for fun (motorbike) I would generally be more chatty around people (strangers, friends, anybody!) but it felt a bit fake: I was so terrified by the thought of driving that my SA paled in comparison, so I had less capacity to be self-conscious because all my anxiety was being used up elsewhere. Ultimately though, this was very unhealthy and I had mini panicks every morning before riding. Horrible! :?

 

[renegade]

I take many risks, maybe i'll die one day...

 

[icefox]

Hey guys, its cool this thread has gotten off to a good start, great job. And I'm glad some of you (you know who you are :wink: ) are taking risks and reaping of the benefits from it. That's what it's all about, you WILL get more fearless each time you do it.

Hey Crazy, that's great that you're making progress taking social risks. I just have a little slant on my way of accepting my successes. See here's the problem with rewarding yourself after a success. After you just finished, lets say, having a great conversation, and you're like "Yeah! Go me! I'm gonna pat my back" what happens is you set up a "precedent" for yourself. And this is made known because when you go back out again to have a conversation, you want to built up to your previous success. You will get nervous. And then you won't do as well.

So, for me, what I do is if I have a success, it's great, but I don't make a big deal out of it, I force myself to become apathetic towards it, so I don't set up a psychological precedent. As far as if I fail, well that's easy, just be prepared for it and know that you did your best even though you screwed up. The failure WILL hurt, but you must cringe and be strong enough to fight the pain until it subsides.

In any case, once again, great job everyone, and let the successes keep on rollin' in.