Recovery

[Purplelemon187]

Hi im new to this site, ive had a social phobia for about six years now and in last year ive being getting help with it, and i am a hell of a lot better then i used to be. But i was jusst wondering if anyone else who is getting help or got help if they still find it hard to talk to people becasue it almost like you havent spoken to people for so long your out of practice, i dont feel scared so much any more, i just dont have anynting interesting to say.

 

[okkamsrazor]

hey mon welcomes to teh forum
Glad to hear your course o therapy is working. As for not having anything interesting to say, have you tried developing a hobby or area of interest?
It also helps if you have an output for discussion, like people who share a common passion for something, the worse thing imo is being around people or situations which prevent growth in learning & understanding.

 

[Septor]

Welcome to Spw Purplelemon187

My story is a lot like yours.I been working on my social phobia/anxiety for the last eight years.I have gotten a lot better to over the past eight years, though I know I still have a lot of work to go.I went through a couple of periods of time where I didn't talk to any one at all.It does feel like, when you don't talk to other people for long period of time, that you get out of practice.I have felt like that before to.So you're not the only one out there, that feel like that.

It's like learning a second language.You never forget that second language but if you don't use it or at least practice with it, over time you will become rusty at it but you will never fully forget it.You just have to practice more often and over time you will get better at it.

Something to keep in mind when you're talking to other people.Instead of focusing on how uncomfortable you feel, prepare yourself by thinking of the issues that interest you most and what you would like to discuss a particular subject.In general, people love to talk about themselves and will respond favorably when asked simple, friendly questions.Just keep a mental list of the things that they have said about themselves and there interests.Then pepper the conversation with questions about them self.Find other people of like interest that will like to talk about the same things you do.Like okkamsrazor said developing a hobby or area of interest, and it will be easier for you to find people of like interests,that will like to talk about the same things you do.Then there's the universal conversation starter like commenting on the weather lol.

I believe that everyone has something interesting to say no matter who they are.Another thing to keep in mind is that people with social phobia, tend to underestimate them self.I know I do that a lot my self.You probably have a lot of interesting things to say and it just the social phobia pulling you down.Tricking you into thinking you don't have anything interesting to say.

Just keep working at it.It's a long hard road to recover, I know that from first hand experience and I'm still fighting it but just think how far you have already came.You can do it, it will just take time.

 

[Vancouver]

Hey, welcome aboard! I bet you have more interesting things to say than you might think. Plus, even if you're not much of a talker, the world needs more good listeners

Enjoy your stay. Hope to see you around 8)