Rant about Trying

[K_T]

not sure if this is the right place to put this, it probably isn't..
For years i have been terrified of trying, terrified of looking bad. I have been too controlling, and this is one of the main reasons why i am phobic. The fear of putting myself out there made it so i did not learn the things I should have, now I can't handle a lot of things that normal people can, like meeting people, because i have this insanely unrealistic view that if i do one wrong thing they "will see me for who I really am". what, do I want to appear nonhuman?

even writing on here anonymously, to complete strangers is somewhat nerve wracking..maybe because I'm writing personal things and that is scary because it gives people direct access to hurt you. Its sort of ridiculous how my ego is so fragile sometimes that I need the validation of others, unfair to them and very self absorbed. I need to stop being such a wuss, I am not made of glass.

 

[NothingElseMatters]

can't handle a lot of things that normal people can, like meeting people, because i have this insanely unrealistic view that if i do one wrong thing they "will see me for who I really am". what, do I want to appear nonhuman?

its not so unrealistic.some ppl really judge and try to find little weird things to throw at a person.For me,when i stop caring about those ppl opinions,i'll be cured for sure

 

[sabbath9]

I have been too controlling, and this is one of the main reasons why i am phobic.

You are correct, control is the problem not the solution. We've tried to control our emotions by avoiding everything.

 

[danstelter]

Yes, your observation that control does not help is absolutely correct, and it is great that you have acknowledged that fact to yourself, on a public forum, no less! In your case, attempting to control your lifestyle held you back, and I can certainly relate to that in my life as well. What is the opposite of control? Letting go, and accepting things as they are! This of course, is incredibly difficult for any anxious person to learn, including myself. But, the more that I let go and take what comes at me and deal with it, the better I feel mentally. Good luck on your journey through the difficulties anxiey presents, you have taken one step in the right direction!