Pressure
- Thread starter 4seasons
- Start date
FallingPhoenix
Member
I really hate doing things that are uncomfortable to me without some sort of escape out of it. Last minute bail out if things go wrong or if I feel completely out of place. It makes it really hard for me to refuse them since I seem like a snob for turning them down but at the same time I can't help but think I end up as dead weight if I actually went. In the end my sp side would win and I regret missing out. :roll:
IceLad
Well-known member
I know how you feel 4seasons.
I used to 'slaughter' myself when I declined an invitation from friends. I used to feel as if I'd really lost a great opportunity to try and move forward, and shake off SP.
Nowadays, I know that it's perfectly acceptable to decline invitations, especially so if you think that your anxiety will be to much during the event in question.
I used to 'slaughter' myself when I declined an invitation from friends. I used to feel as if I'd really lost a great opportunity to try and move forward, and shake off SP.
Nowadays, I know that it's perfectly acceptable to decline invitations, especially so if you think that your anxiety will be to much during the event in question.
Niles
Active member
I don't have any friends so i don't have to deal with that kind of pressure. I make it a point to be unpleasant and abrassive with everyone i encounter to avoid any possible attachments. And of course i like walking around like a complete and total a*se and watching people gasp and widen their eyes in shock...it's fun.
oszapo
Well-known member
I get this so many times and everyone thinks im anti social or ignorant who doesn care.
But still i think sometimes its actually wise to say no as in some situations i could easily faint or pick my heart up from the floor but "normal"people dont get this which annoys me big time.
Try still sometimes make an effort just now and again and see people.For me now and again is like once a year.. 8O but if i feel its 2 much i just say no staff them
But still i think sometimes its actually wise to say no as in some situations i could easily faint or pick my heart up from the floor but "normal"people dont get this which annoys me big time.
Try still sometimes make an effort just now and again and see people.For me now and again is like once a year.. 8O but if i feel its 2 much i just say no staff them
downoutaway
New member
I do that.
If I don't go, they ask why and I have to make up the excuse.
Either that or they call me "anti-social" (more so when I was younger) which doesn't even MEAN that, since it means AGAINST social situations. I'm not against it, I just can't.
Then when I turn it down I feel like they're all out having fun. Then if I see pictures that they took that night or something I'll get really angry that I wasn't there and feel like they betrayed me even though I had the opportunity to be there.
If I don't go, they ask why and I have to make up the excuse.
Either that or they call me "anti-social" (more so when I was younger) which doesn't even MEAN that, since it means AGAINST social situations. I'm not against it, I just can't.
Then when I turn it down I feel like they're all out having fun. Then if I see pictures that they took that night or something I'll get really angry that I wasn't there and feel like they betrayed me even though I had the opportunity to be there.
4seasons said:
That happened to me all the time in high school and college. Eventually they'd stop calling and it would be even more depressing.
Now, each opportunity I get to go out in a social situation, I'll go. But that's because I also have the reassurance that my husband will accompany me. I won't have to go solo, which would be worse. But I've noticed the more I go out, the easier it becomes.
You just have to realize that people are people, they look at you because they have eyes, they're standing close to you because we coexist, etc. Easy answers. It really helps.
TheFortuneTeller
Member
I too decline a lot of invitations, and I seriously start pulling my hair off my head.
I just can't bear it that I didn't have the nerve to go out, because I hate going out alone for anything and when the opportunity rises, I decline.
A few time I accept, and then once I've gone I regret going because something was wrong.
Like this one time there was the event coming up and I asked this girl to be my partner and we teamed up for the event. Then to discuss our 'battle plan' she invites me to meet her at this mall and we would hang out with this others too. Going there was great because I could look around the mall, but I felt so awkward that girl that I was glad when I headed back.
Then the times I regret like going for this sports event that my best friends invited for, we were all going to sneak out of our schools and meet up and sneak into the event. I had a better plan to play sick then I could just stay at home and then go for the event, but in the end I really didn't feel like going. At that time I didn't know I had SA.
But like MelissaQu said, her husband goes also, and that's the best thing. For this banquet that happens twice a year, I never went for the first one even when invited for it. The second one that came along I asked my friend to go with me and it was enjoyable because she was there to keep me company so I wouldn't feel like the idiot in the middle.
So as long as someone I know comes with me then it's a fun thing.
I just can't bear it that I didn't have the nerve to go out, because I hate going out alone for anything and when the opportunity rises, I decline.
A few time I accept, and then once I've gone I regret going because something was wrong.
Like this one time there was the event coming up and I asked this girl to be my partner and we teamed up for the event. Then to discuss our 'battle plan' she invites me to meet her at this mall and we would hang out with this others too. Going there was great because I could look around the mall, but I felt so awkward that girl that I was glad when I headed back.
Then the times I regret like going for this sports event that my best friends invited for, we were all going to sneak out of our schools and meet up and sneak into the event. I had a better plan to play sick then I could just stay at home and then go for the event, but in the end I really didn't feel like going. At that time I didn't know I had SA.
But like MelissaQu said, her husband goes also, and that's the best thing. For this banquet that happens twice a year, I never went for the first one even when invited for it. The second one that came along I asked my friend to go with me and it was enjoyable because she was there to keep me company so I wouldn't feel like the idiot in the middle.
So as long as someone I know comes with me then it's a fun thing.
SilentType
Banned
Yeah its quite depressing having to decline invitations all the time, especially when it would actually do nothing but make your condition better. I have been declining invites for a while now, and I'm just getting to that point where nobody even bothers trying to get me to go out anymore. I just don't understand how I can be so afraid and everybody else can be so comfortable with social situations. That's why its so hard to find sympathy anywhere else but this site. God bless this forum.
Peace
Peace
louieann34
Well-known member
4seasons said:
I sometimes feel pressured when my friends invite me to go out or something...For I don't want them to be upset if I told them that I don't want to go...But of course I explain it to them very well why I don't want to and then they just understands me...Besides if they really are my friends...They would understand me right?
godzprincezz
Member
I normally turn it down. Because i feel a. I am not going to have anything to talk about b. I am going to say something stupid c. people arent going to respond to me and ill feel alienated. But i have to really work on my social skills. I am sick of having a lonely life. I dont have any friends. I am a loner, a homebody.