"Do you create and generate to build a land of plenty?
Or do you misappropriate until the world is empty?
Do you despise and criticise with no absolution?
Or do you stop to analyse to find a new solution?
...
Under the flag of liberty you'll find corruption lurking,
It's our responsibility to keep the system working..."
One of my favorite Evanescence songs. (For some reason, it always makes me think of Law & Order: SVU when I hear it.)
Sometimes my inner redneck (whom I keep hidden very, very deep in my soul) must be let out. Alas, I can't get this song out of my head. I may have to look into the rest of their music.
The guitar outro on this song touches every single despair, frustration, anger and failure I've ever felt and soothes it without a single word. I can't explain the power there is in it to me.
I was really angry when I was into this song. I used to walk through shopping malls staring past people, never bumping into them of course, I was angry not violent. So incredibly angry, fearful, nihilistic, sinking down into depression and anxiety. I didn't care about myself, didn't expect to live much past 40.
Once I was walking through the Park Beach shopping centre.
"Oh my god, he's like the guy in the Verve," two girls said. I felt a twisted pride in them noticing that.
The spiral of anger and introspection went further and further down for years.
My first panic attack in November 2002 stopped those thoughts in mid note. They were replaced with a fear of "I'm going to die." And I realised how much I was scared of that, and how much I wanted to fight for life.