ralyssap
New member
Hi, I'm new here, and I joined because I'm in the middle of an anxiety crisis and I can't handle it alone anymore. I'm sixteen years old and have been experiencing anxiety for, literally, as long as I can remember. My anxiety nearly always centers around my health and the health of my loved ones. My mother was diagnosed with cancer two years ago, and though her treatment appears to have been successful, I often worry about her. Even when she gets a cold or flu I get anxious.
As far as my own anxiety goes, I've been experiencing unexplained symptoms such as muscle twitches, spasms, pain in random areas (fingers, arms, feet, legs, you name it) tingling, and pinprick sensations that last for only a few seconds. I've been tested for everything and appear to be in good health. My symptoms get worse when I think about them or when I am under stress. They often dissappear when I am preoccupied with something else.
I appolgise in advance for the length of this post.
My current anxiety began while I was vacationing with my family in the United Kingdom (I live in Canada). We were on a tour bus, and one other family was sick so , naturally, everyone else got sick too. It was just a regular cold/flu type thing. But when my mom got sick, she was experiencing strange symptoms like dizzyness and disorientation. I was so scared I almost called 911, but my dad said that it was just fatigue and she would be better the next day, which she was. I, subsequently, also caught the virus, but I recovered in a few days. My mom seemed to be getting better, then a few days ago she said she was getting worse again. Since then she got better agaiin, but complained of feeling even worse a day after we got home. The dizziness also returned.
While in London I was experiencing extreme fear of terrorist attacks because of the unstable state of the middle east right now. I was petrified every time we got on the Underground (the subway) because I felt that it would be bombed. Once, I felt so sure that this would occur that I actually felt sick with fear and considered refusing to get on.
I also became petrified of people who were coughing or looked sick. I was terrified that they were carrying the plague or some other deadly disease, or some new virus that terrorists had released (talk about irrational. I've been watching too many movies). I held my breath every time someone coughed.
The worst was the plane ride home. I spent the entire time with a blanket pressed over my mouth and nose, certain that, at any moment, I could be infected with a virus or inhale nerve gas. The worst thing was that seeing people of middle eastern decent on the airplane triggered my fears. I felt horrible for thinking such racist thoughts. I know that believing someone is a terrorist because of their ethnicity is horrible and wrong, but I couldn't control my thoughts. I would never dream of conciously reacting in such a prejudiced way, but I was actualy scared every time I saw someone who looked "Arabian." These thoughts are very distressing to me. I don't want to have racist fears!
I thought that my anxiety would dissapear when I got home, but it just got worse. I was convinced that terrorists had released a virus on the plane and that my family and I were infected. I keep finding potential symptoms in myself and them. I've been surfing the internet all day looking up symptoms of the plague. I was so anxious that I couldn't bring myself to do anything this evening. I went to bed at 7:00 and slept for a few hours, but I had nightmares and woke up at 10:00 sweating and shaking. I was sure that I was going to die, but I soon realised that my symptoms were caused by anxiety, and they went away as I calmed down.
Later, however, I was sitting with my mother in our big rocking chair when she remarked, "You probably shouldn't be sitting with me. I feel sick again. I feel like I'm getting the plague!" You can imagine what kind of horrible downward spiral this put me into. I can't shake the thought that she has some deadly disease, possibly produced by terrorists, and that I'm going to be next. Even if it's just a flu, I'm terrified of what will happen if I get sick. I'll probably have a nervous breakdown thinking that I'm going to die. My family will think I'm crazy if I tell them that they/I were infected with the plague by terrorists (it's so irrational, I know).
I've never been to a doctor for my anxiety, so my family know nothing about it. From the outside, I look like a very well composed person, but I am constantly worrying about my health, which only makes my symptoms worse.
I just need some reassurance that I have nothing to worry about. I can't seem to shake this fear and it's driving me crazy--ruining my summer. I really want to get the better of this before it developes into a long term problem. What should I do?
As far as my own anxiety goes, I've been experiencing unexplained symptoms such as muscle twitches, spasms, pain in random areas (fingers, arms, feet, legs, you name it) tingling, and pinprick sensations that last for only a few seconds. I've been tested for everything and appear to be in good health. My symptoms get worse when I think about them or when I am under stress. They often dissappear when I am preoccupied with something else.
I appolgise in advance for the length of this post.
My current anxiety began while I was vacationing with my family in the United Kingdom (I live in Canada). We were on a tour bus, and one other family was sick so , naturally, everyone else got sick too. It was just a regular cold/flu type thing. But when my mom got sick, she was experiencing strange symptoms like dizzyness and disorientation. I was so scared I almost called 911, but my dad said that it was just fatigue and she would be better the next day, which she was. I, subsequently, also caught the virus, but I recovered in a few days. My mom seemed to be getting better, then a few days ago she said she was getting worse again. Since then she got better agaiin, but complained of feeling even worse a day after we got home. The dizziness also returned.
While in London I was experiencing extreme fear of terrorist attacks because of the unstable state of the middle east right now. I was petrified every time we got on the Underground (the subway) because I felt that it would be bombed. Once, I felt so sure that this would occur that I actually felt sick with fear and considered refusing to get on.
I also became petrified of people who were coughing or looked sick. I was terrified that they were carrying the plague or some other deadly disease, or some new virus that terrorists had released (talk about irrational. I've been watching too many movies). I held my breath every time someone coughed.
The worst was the plane ride home. I spent the entire time with a blanket pressed over my mouth and nose, certain that, at any moment, I could be infected with a virus or inhale nerve gas. The worst thing was that seeing people of middle eastern decent on the airplane triggered my fears. I felt horrible for thinking such racist thoughts. I know that believing someone is a terrorist because of their ethnicity is horrible and wrong, but I couldn't control my thoughts. I would never dream of conciously reacting in such a prejudiced way, but I was actualy scared every time I saw someone who looked "Arabian." These thoughts are very distressing to me. I don't want to have racist fears!
I thought that my anxiety would dissapear when I got home, but it just got worse. I was convinced that terrorists had released a virus on the plane and that my family and I were infected. I keep finding potential symptoms in myself and them. I've been surfing the internet all day looking up symptoms of the plague. I was so anxious that I couldn't bring myself to do anything this evening. I went to bed at 7:00 and slept for a few hours, but I had nightmares and woke up at 10:00 sweating and shaking. I was sure that I was going to die, but I soon realised that my symptoms were caused by anxiety, and they went away as I calmed down.
Later, however, I was sitting with my mother in our big rocking chair when she remarked, "You probably shouldn't be sitting with me. I feel sick again. I feel like I'm getting the plague!" You can imagine what kind of horrible downward spiral this put me into. I can't shake the thought that she has some deadly disease, possibly produced by terrorists, and that I'm going to be next. Even if it's just a flu, I'm terrified of what will happen if I get sick. I'll probably have a nervous breakdown thinking that I'm going to die. My family will think I'm crazy if I tell them that they/I were infected with the plague by terrorists (it's so irrational, I know).
I've never been to a doctor for my anxiety, so my family know nothing about it. From the outside, I look like a very well composed person, but I am constantly worrying about my health, which only makes my symptoms worse.
I just need some reassurance that I have nothing to worry about. I can't seem to shake this fear and it's driving me crazy--ruining my summer. I really want to get the better of this before it developes into a long term problem. What should I do?
