P
pleasehelp1
Guest
This is really hard writing on here but at the moment I am so ill in my head and so desperate.
For about 4-5 years I have been having the same re-occurant thought that distresses me in such a bad way and I am starting to doubt myself and I can't understand what thoughts and images are real and what are not real. Help!
It all stems from an real event that hapened but somehow and I dont remember how soon after the event-maybe 6 months a thought appeared in my head and I had to question myself had I actually carried out this event that I was thinking although I can't think of what it is exactly that I am supposed to have done. I can't say what it is as its so awful and distresses me so much and I don't want to be doubted in anyway. I will run over all different thoughts in my head from the original event and remember what did take place which is all innocent but it frustrates me that my brain is somehow accusing me of doing something wrong when I can't actually picture carring out the event-does this make sense.
Something has triggered this worrying thought again (the last time I had this was over a year and a half ago) and it is so intense that I believe that I must have actually done something wrong and I am getting images in my head and I don't know whether it is my brain making them up but I am starting to believe that I have committed a terrible crime and that oneday I will be found out and everyone I love will disown me and I will be locked away forever and the whole world will know what I have done. Surely I must have done something if this same thought and accusations keeps coming back every year for around 3 weeks and then it will slowly go and I will think to myself don't be so silly. Is it my brain preventing me from admitting that I have done something?I keep thinking I need to go to the police and confess to something that I might have done? It's crazy.It's like I want to believe I have done something but can never find an answer because deep down I would have never done what I am thinking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have told my husband and my mum this time around as I feel like it is a secret that is killing me. It's awful.
For about 4-5 years I have been having the same re-occurant thought that distresses me in such a bad way and I am starting to doubt myself and I can't understand what thoughts and images are real and what are not real. Help!
It all stems from an real event that hapened but somehow and I dont remember how soon after the event-maybe 6 months a thought appeared in my head and I had to question myself had I actually carried out this event that I was thinking although I can't think of what it is exactly that I am supposed to have done. I can't say what it is as its so awful and distresses me so much and I don't want to be doubted in anyway. I will run over all different thoughts in my head from the original event and remember what did take place which is all innocent but it frustrates me that my brain is somehow accusing me of doing something wrong when I can't actually picture carring out the event-does this make sense.
Something has triggered this worrying thought again (the last time I had this was over a year and a half ago) and it is so intense that I believe that I must have actually done something wrong and I am getting images in my head and I don't know whether it is my brain making them up but I am starting to believe that I have committed a terrible crime and that oneday I will be found out and everyone I love will disown me and I will be locked away forever and the whole world will know what I have done. Surely I must have done something if this same thought and accusations keeps coming back every year for around 3 weeks and then it will slowly go and I will think to myself don't be so silly. Is it my brain preventing me from admitting that I have done something?I keep thinking I need to go to the police and confess to something that I might have done? It's crazy.It's like I want to believe I have done something but can never find an answer because deep down I would have never done what I am thinking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have told my husband and my mum this time around as I feel like it is a secret that is killing me. It's awful.