People who tell you you're shy

[shimple]

Don't you want to just smack them?? I was at a gay club last week..A nice looking young guy came up to me and initiated conversation by asking me if I was shy. He proceeded to "inform" me that I was shy at least 20 times. He kept telling me to ask him questions about himself, and to "enlighten" him. (?) I finally told him shy people don't like being told they're shy and to take a hike.

 

[redlady]

Shy? I get snob and i really don't know what it is about me that leads people to believe that i am a snob rather than just shy. This guy was walking towards me once and because i don't like to look directly at people i looked down and as he passed me he called me a snob.
But yeah being constantly told that you are shy - as if it is something that escaped your attention - would be to say the least annoying.

 

[Pesik]

Gah... I do hate it when people say I am shy. They do not seem to understand that saying "you're shy" is nearly the same thing as saying "you have blonde hair". Most people who are shy know it and do not need reminding. I wish people would lay off the commenting it just causes the shy person to become more self concious. This may not be true for all people, but it is how I feel at times. I used to use the defense "I am just to tired to talk" but that grew old. Now I just go along with their comments and realize it would take to long to try and discribe why being told you're shy is annoying.

 

[Fredscars]

They make me laugh tbh..partially because its so annoying..
I was sitting in a class at school, completely silently and this girl starts chattering to me..i occasionally nod my head or mutter indistinct things..she grins at me and goes "ya know what, i reckon you're shy" well duuhh...

 

[Boundless]

Just turn around and say "and the award for stating the obvious 2005 goes to..." usualy gets em to shut up :twisted:

 

[black_mamba]

Haha, that reminds me of a comeback one of my classmates always uses: "What do you want? A f*cking medal?" :lol:

 

[black_mamba]

LoooooL!! A hamster blanket. :lol:

I always thought people pointing out how quiet I behaved was a tester to see if I was just being plain rude. Imagine the scenario:

-You're quite shy aren't you?

-No I just can't stand talking to you.

- ....oh.

The end.

 

[allanboy]

I dont give much care to that. Must cuz of the schyzoid personality thingy.

 

[Isawthelight]

try being called a freak and a loser

boy, that doesn't feel so good. someone who i was friends with for years started hanging out with this crowd that i didn't hang out with, then when i saw my "friend" again at college, he started calling me freak and loser. that hurt my feelings pretty bad, but for some reason i hung out with him that day and didn't really say too much in return. that certainly did not help my social anxiety because this "friend" used to be somebody i could be myself around. i saw him again a month or so later and he called me a freak and loser again. this time though, i had something to say back. i got really pissed off and looked him straight in the eyes and said, "bob, if i'm a loser then you must be the lowest form of life" he shut up after that. i kinda wish i could've thrown in a nice punch to his face while i was at it. boy, if it wasn't for other people this social phobia thing wouldn't be too bad!

 

[elProscrito]

yep, i hate ppl who tell me : you're so quiet, why aren't you saying anything. it makes me feel uncomfortable coz i'm always doing my best to cover my sp and be as talkative as i can
and when somebody says that i'm so quiet it always shuts me up coz i don't know what to say and then i appear even shyer. this happens all the time

 

[2QuietForThem]

Shimple, you encountered a severe butt-head. He was just trying to bring himself up in his own mind by instructing you on how to be/act. I hate people like that! Sometimes, if their butt-headedness isn’t too overwhelming, I’ll sit and half-listen to their blabbering. Then when they’re finished, I’ll simply say, “oh.” Of course, they’ll get annoyed, but I acknowledged their statement (not that I had to). I also found that answering in this one-word fashion gives them less ammunition to talk about. Cuts the conversation off quickly.

 

[skins]

LoooooL!! A hamster blanket. :lol:

I always thought people pointing out how quiet I behaved was a tester to see if I was just being plain rude. Imagine the scenario:

-You're quite shy aren't you?

-No I just can't stand talking to you.

- ....oh.

The end.

hahaha this totally cracked me up, i would love to try this if i ever get the courage....i sometimes get this sort of comment when with relatives that i generally can't stand. would love to see their reaction if i were to comeback with that...priceless...maybe a bit rude to do to a relative, but maybe i will try it on someone one day.....i often feel they like to feel superior by calling you shy, if thats the case then what an appropriate reply....thanks for that black mamba, i always enjoy reading your posts. good day

 

[4myself]

Big groan!. Yep I cant stand being told that I'm shy. I often feel like saying "well I would talk more if you would just shut up for a while".

 

[shimple]

Just turn around and say "and the award for stating the obvious 2005 goes to..." usualy gets em to shut up :twisted:

That's brilliant....thanks!

 

[racheH]

They may think they are being friendly. Noticing something about you. It might seem like a bad thing to mention, but I think people who have never been shy don't see it as such a bad thing. Considering how afraid we can be of anyone guessing how scared we are, I don't think shyness is looked down on at all by most people. It's seen as cute.

Also, fear can make us appear disinterested or preoccupied or fed up. Asking if you're just shy is like asking if you're OK to some people.

 

[PhantomPod]

I can't stand when people say that I'm shy. As if I didn't know.

I worked at a summer camp this Summer, and we had a morning meeting on our last day of work. Our boss went around and said something nice about everyone and complimented their work and all, and when she got to me she said something like "I know you're shy and quiet, but you're a good counselor and you always know where your kids are" or she said something to that effect. But jeez, I don't get why she had to start it like that. I just hate when people say things like that. Also, before I started this summer job is when I first decided that I was going to make a real attempt to overcome my shyness. So all summer I thought I had been doing really good and had been talking a lot with my co-workers, so when she said that, I felt kind of hurt, and my confidence was kind of knocked down a few notches.

It actually hurts my feelings sometimes that people aren't able to see past my shyness. Like yeah, I'm shy, but there's also so much more to me. It's the same as people with physical disabilities. Like yeah, someone might be in a wheelchair or they might be blind, but I find it really sad when people aren't able to see past their physical disabilities.

 

[black_mamba]

"I know you're shy and quiet, but you're a good counselor and you always know where your kids are" or she said something to that effect.

...Like yeah, someone might be in a wheelchair or they might be blind, but I find it really sad when people aren't able to see past their physical disabilities.

When I read the first sentance I totally saw it as a compliment rather than 'hey, too bad you can't socialise but at least you're good at your job'.

But then using your example of someone who was obviously physically disabled I imagined a similar scenario; 'I know you can't walk but you're a damn good teacher'.

It really does sound like they're pointing out the glaringly obvious for no good reason other than to introduce a potential negative to your personality.

It might seem like a bad thing to mention, but I think people who have never been shy don't see it as such a bad thing.

Yup, and then when we try and explain that it goes far deeper than shyness they'll still go 'aww, but its cute, everyone likes a shy girl/boy'.

:roll: * infinity

 

[thugaveli]

Slap em!

Slap em all with a wet nappy

Good idea baldrick!

Hmm its not just shy though we have a frustration of anxiety mixed in with it, ok lets say everytime i go shy i get angry with myself

I dont think that is shy

''slaps them some more with a beatroot''

''whos shy now! ''

 

[aoao]

ahh, i hate being told i'm shy. i always see people from my middle school years at work, and i never know what to say to them and they just give me strange looks. it's so awkward.