People confuse me

[PhantomPod]

I'm on a roll tonight making posts about my life. lmao.


Some of the people I went out with last night were going to Target today. I saw one of their away messages about it, so I thought 'oh, maybe I can go with them. That would be fun.' So I went down to their room and we were all talking for a little bit, and they said how they were going to Target. So I was like "oh cool, how long does it take to get there? are you taking the bus?" and I was trying to like imply that I wasn't doing anything at all and would like to come with them. They obviously are dense and were not getting my implied message, or they're just rude and were ignoring it.

It was only 3 girls, so if they were taking one of the girls car, there still would've been room for me to come. They were getting ready to leave and I walked out of their room with them, and then one of the girls was like "bye Laura." uhhhh.... wtf. I tryed to play it off cool, because I had thought that they figured I wanted to go or were gonna invite me or something, but yeah. So I was just like "oh, bye, cya!" and went up the stairs that were right there and came back to my room.

So yeah. WTF is wrong with people? I don't understand. People (these girls especially) confuse me so much. I just really don't get it. We went out last night and it was fun, so I'm not getting why they wouldn't invite me to go with them when I was standing right there. :?

 

[Bexi]

Get a gang of girls together and its like they turn into witches! or should that be bitches! Obviously, not ALL girls, the girls I have met on here have been great, but other girls I have met have been so bitchy! Sorry they are excluding you, and making you feel ostracised in this way, considering how hard you try with them xxx

 

[coolguy2005]

Hi Phantom,

"So yeah. WTF is wrong with people? I don't understand. People (these girls especially) confuse me so much. I just really don't get it"

There is nothing wrong with people. It is how you feel about yourself. You are blaming your circumstances(i.e. not being able to go out) on other people.

When you say I just really don't get it, you should be saying "I choose not to get it". We all have a choice. I quote Nick's first rule, "my life is controlled by my choices, not by circumstances or past". YOU have the choice of understanding why this is happening.

By stating " I choose not to understand", you empower yourself to understand the situation.

" I'm not getting why they wouldn't invite me to go with them when I was standing right there"

Remember the POWER to choose. You should have explictely asked them "can i go with you". Or if you find that too challanging, then work on asking in front of the mirror. Find solutions.

 

[young]

Maybe some people are just soo dense as to they didn't pick up on your signals. Or maybe they got them crossed.

 

[Toad]

Coolguy2005...are you serious?...dude...these girls were bitches (from the description of what happened)...it has nothing to do with PhantomPod. Most people (well at least me) consider it kinda rude to invite yourself to do things, because it puts the other people in an awkward position...they feel guilty since they didnt ask in the first place. I would consider it even more rude to not invite someone when they are hinting that they want to go than inviting yourself though, like these girls did to PhantomPod. Although it is especially hard for people like us to go out and do stuff, we shouldn't have to invite ourselves just like anyone else shouldn't...it's rude. PhantomPod did the right thing in not inviting herself, and the girls did the wrong thing by blowing her off...it's as simple as that.

 

[black_mamba]

Psssshhh I would've noticed signals like that. Okok most social phobes probably would too, but that does seem quite rude to me.

I've had the same incident myself too.

Girls smell.

 

[PhantomPod]

erm.. yeah, I'm agreeing with Toad here coolguy2005.

There is nothing wrong with people. It is how you feel about yourself. You are blaming your circumstances(i.e. not being able to go out) on other people.

There are things wrong with people, as we all know that every human has faults. And I can tell you right now that the thing wrong with these girls is that they're just plain rude and don't think about others. I understand that it's not right to put complete blame on others for your faults, but in certain circumstances, such as this one, it's not right at all to be putting 100% blame on yourself. God knows shy/sp people put enough blame on themselves for things, no need to encourage it further.

I don't know if you're from America or not, but I believe in our culture, or atleast in my own beliefs, that it is rude to just invite yourself out with people. I may not get out much, but I atleast know that that's not how it works. The other person does the inviting.


But I think I've decided that I'm going to stop putting in so much effort with these girls. When I really think about it, I don't want this 'friendship' that badly. Plus, I think friendship should really come naturally, and the people shouldn't have to put in so much effort. If they are putting in the effort to make a friendship work, then it should be coming from both sides. Here I am putting in all of my effort yet it's getting me no where and I'm getting nothing from their side.

 

[Angie_05]

erm.. yeah, I'm agreeing with Toad here coolguy2005.

There is nothing wrong with people. It is how you feel about yourself. You are blaming your circumstances(i.e. not being able to go out) on other people.

There are things wrong with people, as we all know that every human has faults. And I can tell you right now that the thing wrong with these girls is that they're just plain rude and don't think about others. I understand that it's not right to put complete blame on others for your faults, but in certain circumstances, such as this one, it's not right at all to be putting 100% blame on yourself. God knows shy/sp people put enough blame on themselves for things, no need to encourage it further.

I don't know if you're from America or not, but I believe in our culture, or atleast in my own beliefs, that it is rude to just invite yourself out with people. I may not get out much, but I atleast know that that's not how it works. The other person does the inviting.


But I think I've decided that I'm going to stop putting in so much effort with these girls. When I really think about it, I don't want this 'friendship' that badly. Plus, I think friendship should really come naturally, and the people shouldn't have to put in so much effort. If they are putting in the effort to make a friendship work, then it should be coming from both sides. Here I am putting in all of my effort yet it's getting me no where and I'm getting nothing from their side.

I agree with your choice. I think you've posted before about how confusing these girls are. I would lay low for awhile and try to talk to different people and see if you can find someone with similar interests and opinions about friendship. I know this is difficult for an SP...meeting people...ugh.

 

[allanboy]

Why didnt you ask her to go?