other people with family problems?

[Layla]

I think alot of the fear, sadness and anxiety i feel is due to the fact that ive been dealing with alot of family problems in the past few years. my parents are seperated now, and we all moved on seperately in different homes. See my mom very often, and my father less and less, but it just make me feel so awful because they both have sooo many of their own issues relationship-wise, financially. it makes me feel so incredibly sad to see them both miserable. i am constantly worried about them that i no longer care about my own life. It kills me that they deserve so much more than what they've got. basically, they aren't happy, and it really, really kills me inside that they could do so much better but aren't.

I cant seem to detach myself, no matter how hard i try. I feel like they raised me for so many years that the least i do is try to help them. i cant sleep because i always think of this. Im not saying its their fault i feel the way i do, its just that its hard to see the people you love the most in the world so unhappy, and ive tried everything to help them, they listen, but dont do anything. And i do see a councellor.

How can i deal with this? i know this isnt the place to talk about family problems, but i was hoping some of the people here with anxiety issues and depression maybe might be able to relate. thanks for any advice you have to offer.

 

[Snowman]

Layla,

I've read what you wrote and I can sort of understand where you're coming from: you feel guilty for things over which you have no real control. Your parents are having marital and financial problems. Are these problems your fault? No. As cruel as it sounds, your parents are adults and they may well have created a lot of their own problems.
You won't be able to offer them any help if you keep beating yourself up over their problems. It sounds like you come from a close family; you want to help your parents. Your parents love you and want the best for you. But you can't offer them anything unless and until you take care of yourself first. You're no good to your parents if you're paralyzed by depression and false guilt. By looking after yourself first, you'll be in a better position to offer help to your parents.

Just my $0.02 worth,
Snowman