once my boyfriend now a ghost

[burdeninyourhands]

No one even gives me the time of day due to my looks to even know that I have no self confidence. The fact that I hate myself would improved if someone loved me. Its hard being alone. No one understands me I don't expect u guys to. I just hope I can die soon so everyone can be happy, and live their self confident proud lives....a feeling I can never obtain.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

No one even gives me the time of day due to my looks to even know that I have no self confidence. The fact that I hate myself would improved if someone loved me. Its hard being alone. No one understands me I don't expect u guys to. I just hope I can die soon so everyone can be happy, and live their self confident proud lives....a feeling I can never obtain.

I don't expect you to believe me, I guess-- you don't know me.
I'm a stranger and I know nothing.
I also have body dysmorphia, though - and I've struggled with feeling unloved my whole life.

"The fact that I hate myself would improved if someone loved me."
YOU can love you! That is what I'm trying to say.
It is absolutely possible to love yourself and THEN seek out relationships that aren't so self destructive; because as long as you have confidence in yourself, you won't have to be a victim anymore.

I won't bother saying anything else.

 

[ScaredToBreathe]

guys are stupid. they like to go out with a bunch of girls then dump or abuse or ignore them and move on to more girls. not all guys are like that but a lot are...its sad...
and your body type shouldnt matter too much to a guy its your personality that sticks out the most. and if thats you in your profile pic, then I must say you're honestly a really pretty girl, whether you see it or not.

 

[lilmutegirl]

I agree with everyone else on here--you are pretty and should probably stay single for awhile. I have never sought out relationships, and most of mine have been pretty good (with the glaring exception of 2 abusive ones). I have been dating a wonderful guy for almost a year. We met when I had been divorced (from abuser #2) for nearly a year. In that time (between divorcing and meeting my bf), I did not date, have sex with, or make out with anyone, and it was actually pretty nice.
Please don't look to another person to fulfill your life. That is a sure way to set yourself up to be disappointed in the end. It will probably take you awhile to get over this anyway, so why not just take that time to enjoy and explore yourself?

 

[burdeninyourhands]

Yeah most guys are agilest like that but to be honest I would find myself lucky to even be in a abusive relationship than to be alone with no family, no one cares if I eat or not or if I get hone safely or anything. I'm done looking for relationships that's for sure I'm better off accepting the fact that I was made to be alone

 

[lilmutegirl]

Yeah most guys are agilest like that but to be honest I would find myself lucky to even be in a abusive relationship than to be alone with no family, no one cares if I eat or not or if I get hone safely or anything. I'm done looking for relationships that's for sure I'm better off accepting the fact that I was made to be alone

While I think it is good for you to not look for a romantic relationship, I disagree that being in an abusive relationship is better than being alone.

As someone close to me once said, "There is a difference between being alone and being lonely."

You should care if you are eating and get home safely. Do you have anyone in your life with whom you could share things and spend time with? Just because you don't have a boyfriend, doesn't mean that you can't have any relationships at all.

 

[burdeninyourhands]

That's true, I just don't trust anyone anymore.

 

[Sial Axetder]

Advice given about self betterment may end in frustration on the receiver's side.
Due to the feelings of judgment.
Judged that we don't know who we are or can't accept who we are.

burdeninyourhands, you know you exist within darkness. You can be happier if you choose to change. Difficult to see that, I know.

Feelings within a relationship, love, is very addicting. So, to, can the tar-black substance of perpetual self-torment. It seems oddly fitting that feelings of love can lead directly to those darker emotions.

While you are still in the dark see it for what it is. Find out about masochism. I am not saying you venture willfully into masochism ideals. Quite possibly I have misread and/or ill-fully observed true meanings. Merely I am trying to provide potential illumination to an area that may be not known or recognized.

Our advice, just words. Beyond that is your domain. Your life, your way, your world. Take control.

 

[burdeninyourhands]

I see what your saying but wouldn't a masochist get pleasure from this? These situations come tome, I don't go out looking for them I had little choice either accept these aholes or suffer alone. Now I'm choosing loneliness noone understands me or career so it's not a hard choice to make

 

[Sial Axetder]

I see what your saying but wouldn't a masochist get pleasure from this? These situations come tome, I don't go out looking for them I had little choice either accept these aholes or suffer alone. Now I'm choosing loneliness noone understands me or career so it's not a hard choice to make

We are often our own enemies.
What of family? Friends? They must care. I care to try to offer advice. So do the others who have posted.

No one understands, we can be a closed people. Are you open to having yourself understood? Do you make clear your intentions should a situation call for it?

More Questions:
What does give you pleasure?
What do you enjoy?

If you're to choose being alone you may want to fill your time with hobbies, work, whatever keeps you busy. Alone-happy opposed to alone and in the dark.

Regardless of your want to be alone, as soon you start to enjoy being you with yourself people will notice. That self-likeness, self-love is very attractive. Yes, it is visible.

 

[burdeninyourhands]

All of my family is dead and my friends are self involved. The only things I do for fun are running, yoga, kick boxing and smoking pot. I realize this must sound miserable that's why I'm sick of living it

 

[Sial Axetder]

Running, yoga and kickboxing. All excellent.

Pot smokin? Well ..... we all know drugs are bad, mmmkay.

Keep working on those three.

You are certain your friends are self involved? Perhaps misinterpreting? I ask as you know more. When someone or something is viewed negatively we should stop and think about what is really bothering.

 

[Kat]

To go through what you have and survive it this far you’re made of pretty tough stuff. You can do anything you put your mind to your hardships are proof. You have looked after yourself it's time to take care of yourself. I hope you stay on the path to self fulfillment, you are worth it.

 

[Sial Axetder]

To go through what you have and survive it this far you’re made of pretty tough stuff. You can do anything you put your mind to your hardships are proof. You have looked after yourself it's time to take care of yourself. I hope you stay on the path to self fulfillment, you are worth it.

Ah, and here are words I should have used. So much more in those words.

 

[burdeninyourhands]

Its like I'm working on a path for no reason u can put a smile on ur face and try to be positive buy when u wake up alone and go to bed depressed its all a lie. Why am I so sensitive and needy? Makes no sense. Anyone can be a survivor or strong when you have no other choice cuz apparently I'm supposed to stay alive and lie to myself and love the fact that I'm ugly and lonely. All this seems crazy I hate the fact that I'm gonna wake up tomorrow

 

[Kat]

There are many perspectives in life positive and negative just being negative isn’t the truth it is a mindset, if you get caught up in the technicalities of what is true and what is not you will be perplexed. You’re not on the search for the truth, just to feel better.

When your focus is all wrong no matter what good you have in your life you won’t be able to acknowledge it, if you don’t learn how to.

 

[coyote]

There are many perspectives in life positive and negative just being negative isn’t the truth it is a mindset, if you get caught up in the technicalities of what is true and what is not you will be perplexed. You’re not on the search for the truth, just to feel better.

When your focus is all wrong no matter what good you have in your life you won’t be able to acknowledge it, if you don’t learn how to.

very well said

...the fact that I'm ugly...

not a fact

merely an opinion

which may or may not be shared by anyone else

 

[Sial Axetder]

There are many perspectives in life positive and negative just being negative isn’t the truth it is a mindset, if you get caught up in the technicalities of what is true and what is not you will be perplexed. You’re not on the search for the truth, just to feel better.

When your focus is all wrong no matter what good you have in your life you won’t be able to acknowledge it, if you don’t learn how to.

Errm, sorry for stealing the show. Only for a bit.

A question I must propose to Kat. How does one learn to focus positively?

See, I see these responses in a lot of ways and places and one portion the giver of advice leaves out or cannot provide is how one should start or go about learning.

Set aside the fact that everyone is normal for just a moment. So, normies who do not suffer from SA, AvPD, SP probably don't ask themselves nor seek answers for learning how to see positive. Is it so simple that we, who do suffer, should instead stop trying to learn and just try little by little being who we are?

 

[nicole1]

All I can say is he sucked. I've been there. Now....I rather the space. I wanted that attention so bad at one point but now...I don't care.

 

[Kat]

Errm, sorry for stealing the show. Only for a bit.

A question I must propose to Kat. How does one learn to focus positively?

See, I see these responses in a lot of ways and places and one portion the giver of advice leaves out or cannot provide is how one should start or go about learning.

Set aside the fact that everyone is normal for just a moment. So, normies who do not suffer from SA, AvPD, SP probably don't ask themselves nor seek answers for learning how to see positive. Is it so simple that we, who do suffer, should instead stop trying to learn and just try little by little being who we are?

Don't be sorry I think what needs to be said has been. It's up to burdeninyourhands. Yeah, Just an attitude adjustment and words of support is by no means a solution to a disorder, it is much more difficult but we aren’t mutants either we are susceptible to change and feeling better.

You have to find what works for you. Seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist would be ideal but not everyone can afford that. You can do some self exploration and find out what releases endorphins. I find exercise does, it makes me giggly.