SpazSF
New member
One of the biggest problems for me with my OCD is recognizing the difference between the OCD and a potentially real "threat" or problem. I can completely recognize the obsessive thoughts as OCD when they have absolutely no basis in reality - when they are somewhat ridiculous. It doesn't stop the thoughts, but it helps a lot to know they are just my OCD. When, however, the obsessive thoughts could possibly be about something "true" - that's when I am in so much agony with them.
My current situation is with a guy I have been dating for 2 months. He stayed over the other night, and was in the bathroom forever and a day. I wondered what he was doing in there, and when I went in after him, I discovered I had left my Blackberry in there. When I looked at it, it was scrolled way down to several days prior - like he had been scrolling through my messages. So, here comes the obsessive part. About a month ago, I comptemplated cheating on him (cause I couldn't live with the insecurity I always have about him from my OCD - wanted a "backup" if you will). I knew there were texts on my phone from me and the other guy. Now, I have the obsessive thought in my head that he read those texts (even though he would have actually had to do a search to find them), and that he is going to break up with me because of it.
He has given me no reason to think this. He was perfectly normal after the bathroom episode and hung out with me for a couple of hours and was acting fine. Since then, he has been a bit aloof, but he is often that way during the work week when he is busy. I am so overcome by these obsessive thoughts, that I am considering calling him and just confessing my previous cheating temptation - just so I don't have to worry about him finding out anymore. He is probably going to think I am crazy to do that - he probably doesn't even want to know - I mean, I didn't do anything with the other guy. Does my boyfriend really need to know that I just "thought" about doing something - probably not. It will probably relieve my obsessive thoughts (for about 5 minutes), but could actually cause problems in our relationship.
So how do I know if my thoughts have any basis in reality? Could it possibly be true that he did find the messages? Or is this just my OCD trying to ruin my life as it always does?
My current situation is with a guy I have been dating for 2 months. He stayed over the other night, and was in the bathroom forever and a day. I wondered what he was doing in there, and when I went in after him, I discovered I had left my Blackberry in there. When I looked at it, it was scrolled way down to several days prior - like he had been scrolling through my messages. So, here comes the obsessive part. About a month ago, I comptemplated cheating on him (cause I couldn't live with the insecurity I always have about him from my OCD - wanted a "backup" if you will). I knew there were texts on my phone from me and the other guy. Now, I have the obsessive thought in my head that he read those texts (even though he would have actually had to do a search to find them), and that he is going to break up with me because of it.
He has given me no reason to think this. He was perfectly normal after the bathroom episode and hung out with me for a couple of hours and was acting fine. Since then, he has been a bit aloof, but he is often that way during the work week when he is busy. I am so overcome by these obsessive thoughts, that I am considering calling him and just confessing my previous cheating temptation - just so I don't have to worry about him finding out anymore. He is probably going to think I am crazy to do that - he probably doesn't even want to know - I mean, I didn't do anything with the other guy. Does my boyfriend really need to know that I just "thought" about doing something - probably not. It will probably relieve my obsessive thoughts (for about 5 minutes), but could actually cause problems in our relationship.
So how do I know if my thoughts have any basis in reality? Could it possibly be true that he did find the messages? Or is this just my OCD trying to ruin my life as it always does?
I try to be very careful and only pay attention to this thoughts when there is enough evidence. When there isn't, I try to repeat to myself that I cannot know what's going inside other people's heads. It seems everything is fine, so I wouldn't worry. And if he had read your messages, he had no right, so it is you who would be right :twisted: :lol: No, seriously, sometimes I don't trust my mind, too. Don't assume he thrust his nose into your things, but he is a trusting person.