ocd beet me

[NatRad]

My wife has OCD, hording and cluttering, she wont do a thing,

we have been together for 10 years, its been a challenge, but ive always been able to deal with it, clean up after her.

about a year ago, we had a daughter, since then, its beet, me, i cant clean up no more, the mess has beet me, my daughter climbs over the filth, its killing me slowly, i work 12 hours a day, i come home and i clean, its killed me, i have no friends anymore, my family wont speak to me anymore because of it, my mother tells me to take my daughter and leave. if ileave, i know ill loose everything. as she lust for aquiring anything and everything has put us into financial rewin.

its obvious she has chosen her problems, over her family, she doesnt even try to do anything, she stops me cleaning now, as soon as i go to work, she sets to work trashing the house.

theres no love anymore, her ocd has turned my love for her into hate.

its killing me so much, my body is failing, blood pressure, i dont sleep, i dont eat, i have no motivation to do anything fun for years.

 

[kathyk]

wow I just read about how OCD affects families and stuff especially like husbands or wives. This sounds just like that. Especially when u said that she picked OCD over her family. She really has no choice she didn't pick OCD over you guys. She can't control it. But anyways in the book i'm reading it says that when OCD gets in the way, you guys should start counseling and you will learn more about her disorder and how it affects you. You might be enabling her in a way of keeping her hoarding habit up by cleaning up. just maybe, i'm not a doctor or anything so you don't have to listen to me. But it says that the best thing to do is not to enable the OCDer's rituals and don't yell at them about it either cause they can't control it. The best thing to do is to seek therapy. O and the book i'm reading is called "Tormenting Thoughts and Secret Rituals" by Ian Osborn. Sorry this is soo long, but i just learned that

 

[siren_0_0]

My wife has OCD, hording and cluttering, she wont do a thing,

we have been together for 10 years, its been a challenge, but ive always been able to deal with it, clean up after her.

about a year ago, we had a daughter, since then, its beet, me, i cant clean up no more, the mess has beet me, my daughter climbs over the filth, its killing me slowly, i work 12 hours a day, i come home and i clean, its killed me, i have no friends anymore, my family wont speak to me anymore because of it, my mother tells me to take my daughter and leave. if ileave, i know ill loose everything. as she lust for aquiring anything and everything has put us into financial rewin.

its obvious she has chosen her problems, over her family, she doesnt even try to do anything, she stops me cleaning now, as soon as i go to work, she sets to work trashing the house.

theres no love anymore, her ocd has turned my love for her into hate.

its killing me so much, my body is failing, blood pressure, i dont sleep, i dont eat, i have no motivation to do anything fun for years.

I'm sorry to hear that this is happening to your family, especially since you just had a baby last year. It must have been so tough for you.

I don't know what hoarding and cluttering OCD is about, like what the reasoning behind the suffer's obsessive thoughts are based upon but I really do feel for you.

Your wife is missing out on a lot, this is the time when she needs to be bonding with her baby. She'll never get these years back when your kid is grown up. I know she probably can't control her OCD but she needs to find ways to try to.

This isn't just about how OCD effects her own life anymore. You guys have a baby in the picture now. Whatever happens, the baby's needs should ALWAYS comes first. If her OCD is effecting the baby in any unhealthy way at all, it's got to be fixed.

Is there someone else who can watch your baby for a couple of months? Maybe your mother or sister or any trustworthy and reliable relative that you can ask for help from? I wish I could help myself.

I really think you need to get the baby safe and away from the house and all the clutter in it. And your wife needs be on medication and seek therapy as soon as possible.

Don't try to do everything yourself. Ask for other people's help. How does her family feel about her? Are they willing to help at all? There's gotta be someone in your close circle who is willing to help you guys. And please get a social worker, so that there's someone else whom you can seek help from and help you make a decision about what needs to be done.

If worst comes to worst and you need to get your wife out of the house, such as if she's endangering her own life or the life of your baby with her OCD behavior, you have to have her sent to a psychiatric ward. Let them take care of her OCD instead.

Whatever you decide to do, first have a talk with your wife beforehand. I know OCD has taken over her life but I'm sure the woman you fell in love with is still in there somewhere and hopefully she can hear what you have to say and realize that she needs to seek professional help.

Good luck to you. You can PM me anytime if you want to talk. I'll be here to listen. *hugs*

 

[NatRad]

i spent 12 hours, of picking up stuff filled about 3 garbage bags of just pure garbage, rolled up matts, tried to scrubb the floor to remove the carept stains this was only just in the living room. this is only because ive been sick for 2 weeks.

but its already a pig stye again, spilt food thrown everywhere through the kitchen already. its a never ending full time job, i guess its how the painters of the sydney harbour bridge feel, when they finish one end, they start again.

thanks for your support. Its hard to say if this is going to affect hannah, she is doing a good job raising her, its just the mess, the clutter and the hording thats getting in the way. ive expressed concerns to our gp, who just said, that our daughter is healthy and developing at a very advanced rate, although in country nsw, australia, their just isnt any support what so ever for this kind of problem.

Once a month, we use to drive 4 hours, to a half baked psyc, who didnt even have any qualifications appart from a counceller. and pay a few hundred dollars, for his blunt and rude attitude. for 30 mintes of his time.

 

[siren_0_0]

^I replied to your pm. Did you get it? I hope you're doing well.

 

[NatRad]

thanks, i replied to it

 

[meme]

i think reading that book "tormenting thoughts and secret rituals" is a great idea. its excellent. it really helped my family help me. it'd be good for both of you.

2nd,counceling is a great idea, but if thats not an option, applying the concepts from the book may help. really, its a case of her trying to help herself and you giving support. it sounds like right now, you are giving support, but its hard to know from a post what she is or isnt doing.

maybe there is a group for her to go to. also there are scholarships available worldwide at this site: http://www.peaceofmind.com/
you submit a story and they will see if they can help. dont lose heart. and besides tending to your family, remember to take care of yourself too.

 

[NatRad]

yeah, its at the point were she doesnt want help thats the biggest problem, ive been persistant for years and its just not going anywhere, just getting worse.