JD_nz_76
New member
Sorry for long post but I'm stressing out. Things were going really well and now they are going to shit again
Ok, so I attended a treatment program in January for CBT. I have never been medicated for my SP, but have been on and off anti depressants for most of my adult life.
Before treatment, I had become very isolated from society, slowly over years and years to the point where I couldn't handle going out for any reason. I had a few semi safe places I could manage to get to when it couldn't be avoided, but had lost contact with most of my friends etc. So for the past 3 years or so I had been living in my flat not really going anywhere or using the phone until finally my name reached the top of the waiting list for another assessment at Anxiety Disorders Unit (Had one done about 8 years ago, but freaked out when I found out that treatment would be in a group and never went)
This time round I was determined to attend, and long story not so short I did.
It was really hard...but ultimately really good. It was a 3 week attend every day treatment program, which actually helped me a lot.
I applied for a 2 year full time course at local tertiary institute because I knew I had to so something when treatment finished or I would quickly get back in old patterns and ended up finishing treatment and the next week starting full time study.
So I have been having to go to classes and stuff, and early in the year even had to do a presentation for one of my courses. To be honest it went really bad, freaked out and stuff... but got through it, and ended up passing that course. Did really well academically in the first semester, but have over the past few months started to really struggle with the social side of study. I used to meet up with class mates on breaks and have a coffee and whatever....and now it is getting harder to make myself do it. Performance anxiety in class is getting worse too...worry tutor will ask a question or something...
I'm also starting to have issues with my thought patterns....like going over and over conversations I've had (or could have had) and picking holes in everything I said (or should have said, or could have said differently)....
I'm getting really worried that I won't be able to keep going... got another year and a quarter.
Ok, so I attended a treatment program in January for CBT. I have never been medicated for my SP, but have been on and off anti depressants for most of my adult life.
Before treatment, I had become very isolated from society, slowly over years and years to the point where I couldn't handle going out for any reason. I had a few semi safe places I could manage to get to when it couldn't be avoided, but had lost contact with most of my friends etc. So for the past 3 years or so I had been living in my flat not really going anywhere or using the phone until finally my name reached the top of the waiting list for another assessment at Anxiety Disorders Unit (Had one done about 8 years ago, but freaked out when I found out that treatment would be in a group and never went)
This time round I was determined to attend, and long story not so short I did.
It was really hard...but ultimately really good. It was a 3 week attend every day treatment program, which actually helped me a lot.
I applied for a 2 year full time course at local tertiary institute because I knew I had to so something when treatment finished or I would quickly get back in old patterns and ended up finishing treatment and the next week starting full time study.
So I have been having to go to classes and stuff, and early in the year even had to do a presentation for one of my courses. To be honest it went really bad, freaked out and stuff... but got through it, and ended up passing that course. Did really well academically in the first semester, but have over the past few months started to really struggle with the social side of study. I used to meet up with class mates on breaks and have a coffee and whatever....and now it is getting harder to make myself do it. Performance anxiety in class is getting worse too...worry tutor will ask a question or something...
I'm also starting to have issues with my thought patterns....like going over and over conversations I've had (or could have had) and picking holes in everything I said (or should have said, or could have said differently)....
I'm getting really worried that I won't be able to keep going... got another year and a quarter.
