Ph4ntomas
New member
Hi everyone,
Sorry in advance for the mistakes, English is not my original language...
For as long I can remember, I have always been quite shy, but for the past several years, it just got worse.
I'm now 27, only have a couple of friends that I'm slowly loosing track of and I'm just unable (or don't know how ?) to make new friends. I've never been in a relationship and since I have so much difficulties in meeting new people, things are not looking so good in my future...
Crowds terrify me. I can barely walk, stand in queue, eat, etc... when I'm in a public place. In those situations, my legs begin to shake, I have difficulty to breath and I'm not able to make any eye contact cause I just feel I'll faint... I remember when I was in college, I forced myself into going to parties and stuff like that, but after a few panic attacks, I just gave up trying.
Other than for work or groceries, I'm not leaving my place anymore. It's the only place I feel good and in security.
Just to make things better, I got a new job a few months ago and I had to move to another part of the country. My family and the few friends that I had are now very far away. More than that, people here are speaking another language and even though I'm bilingual, getting past the language / accent barrier is yet another problem that I have.
I know I'm over-analyzing everything I say or do, but I find some comfort in doing so. Not a minute can pass without asking myself if what I just did could have seem strange to other people. (i.e. Do I walk staight ?, Put your hands in your pockets or you'll look like an idiot, I shouldn't have said that, etc...)
I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to live my life all alone and yet, when I look in my future, it looks like it is going to be that way. I don't think I can go to a psychiatrist since they are all speaking English. I already have a hard time telling how I feel to people I know, so with a stranger who speaks another language... I just won't be able to express my feelings.
6 years ago, I came close to end it all up and if it weren't of an old roomate which I encounter that night, I might not be here today. I'm just afraid that the situation will repeat itself and that nobody will be here to help me this time...
Are there any people in my situation here ? Were you able to get better ? Any suggestions will be welcome.
Please help me.
Phantomas
Sorry in advance for the mistakes, English is not my original language...
For as long I can remember, I have always been quite shy, but for the past several years, it just got worse.
I'm now 27, only have a couple of friends that I'm slowly loosing track of and I'm just unable (or don't know how ?) to make new friends. I've never been in a relationship and since I have so much difficulties in meeting new people, things are not looking so good in my future...
Crowds terrify me. I can barely walk, stand in queue, eat, etc... when I'm in a public place. In those situations, my legs begin to shake, I have difficulty to breath and I'm not able to make any eye contact cause I just feel I'll faint... I remember when I was in college, I forced myself into going to parties and stuff like that, but after a few panic attacks, I just gave up trying.
Other than for work or groceries, I'm not leaving my place anymore. It's the only place I feel good and in security.
Just to make things better, I got a new job a few months ago and I had to move to another part of the country. My family and the few friends that I had are now very far away. More than that, people here are speaking another language and even though I'm bilingual, getting past the language / accent barrier is yet another problem that I have.
I know I'm over-analyzing everything I say or do, but I find some comfort in doing so. Not a minute can pass without asking myself if what I just did could have seem strange to other people. (i.e. Do I walk staight ?, Put your hands in your pockets or you'll look like an idiot, I shouldn't have said that, etc...)
I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to live my life all alone and yet, when I look in my future, it looks like it is going to be that way. I don't think I can go to a psychiatrist since they are all speaking English. I already have a hard time telling how I feel to people I know, so with a stranger who speaks another language... I just won't be able to express my feelings.
6 years ago, I came close to end it all up and if it weren't of an old roomate which I encounter that night, I might not be here today. I'm just afraid that the situation will repeat itself and that nobody will be here to help me this time...
Are there any people in my situation here ? Were you able to get better ? Any suggestions will be welcome.
Please help me.
Phantomas