Not allowed to be to maself

[rado31]

Anyone else experiencing someting similiar to these

when i m in a girl's company :

-when i talk seriously - they consider that i dont want relationship
-when i talk non-seriosly (i do this to entertain myself as well) - they consider me childish
-when i m silent - i m not good to them


In other's people company:

-when i m in a phase "i love loving people "people are seeking a moment to backstab me / insult me / attack me(?!)
-whem i m tired of phase (1) , then i m accused for being tough person , bad language etc

 

[danstelter]

Anyone else experiencing someting similiar to these

when i m in a girl's company :

-when i talk seriously - they consider that i dont want relationship
-when i talk non-seriosly (i do this to entertain myself as well) - they consider me childish
-when i m silent - i m not good to them

Can't say that I have experienced these. Try just being yourself, as that usually attracts the best thing for you. And also, try not caring what these other women think of you. Women are just like men; some are nice, while others are horrible and mean. If they are mean, there's nothing you can do to make them nice, which may explain some of the behavior towards you. In other words, don't take how people behave toward you as something that is a reflection of who you are. People may behave a certain way, but that is not necessarily due to the way you are acting.

In other's people company:

-when i m in a phase "i love loving people "people are seeking a moment to backstab me / insult me / attack me(?!)
-whem i m tired of phase (1) , then i m accused for being tough person , bad language etc

People can be bad, and if they backstab you, that is simply the way they are. Confront them directly and let them know that you do not appreciate what they are doing. Don't use bad language or be "mean" about it. Simply tell them that you know what they are doing, that you think it is wrong, and that you will not tolerate it in a calm and assertive manner. People that do not want to accept responsibility for their actions will accuse you of being "tough," but that may need to be the reputation you need to build to handle these people. If I were you, I would find different people to be around, if possible.

 

[rado31]

i appreciate you being so polite , and did take time to answer

First of all, i want you to say that is day-to-day struggle . For example, when i enter grocery store and m just a little bit anxious - employed staff thinks i m a shoplifter. I m constantly being mispercepted .
So, yes , everything you say is right - i should seek for everything new but i m a bit lost of compass (i feel guilty because of it) and i miss energy.

I used to have many acquitances but now = 0. I lost my regular income (i have a pHd degree in the only thing in this universuum that has to be called science. guess what, everyone despise it, too.. what can i do with that) i have many interests, when i m not depressd but i m depressed and antisocial ..well turbulently antisocial...like in some kind of matrix

It is hard to raise yourself when you are in zero or minus postion. I'll give it a try for the sake of sake

 

[danstelter]

Yes continue to give it a try...things can and will get better if you continue to work at them! Seeking a counselor/therapist/psychologist may be very beneficial as they can provide the emotional support you need (I used counseling and found it VERY helpful).

Yes, you are probably being misperceived by others, and unfortunately that is what happens when we are anxious sometimes. If your environment is too difficult to work in, it may be a good idea to find somewhere to work where people are more understanding.

Finally, remember that not all things work out. You may have to try many times before you find that things work out for you! Do not be discouraged. You will probably get frustrated and burned out at times, but that is okay. Do not quit at these difficult times. Take a break, do what you need to do to take care of yourself, and then get back at it! Great job on continuing to try and be confident that you can do it!

 

[Zarrix]

To be yourself in any situation is easier said than done, especialyl when something in your mind makes your responses seem so robotic. I refer to it as a Wall inside your mind that prevents your true self coming out in most situations. It sucks when you got to adopt a second-rate imitation of another personality because you can't seem to reveal your own to most of the world.

 

[Havocan]

Anyone else experiencing someting similiar to these

when i m in a girl's company :

-when i talk seriously - they consider that i dont want relationship
-when i talk non-seriosly (i do this to entertain myself as well) - they consider me childish
-when i m silent - i m not good to them

You took the words right out of my mouth. Mostly, since I'm shy and serious I therefore tend to be perceived as not good enough and not wanting a relationship. I think it's because a lot of shy guys really have to focus on being polite and give a good first impression of themselves to girls. Since they come along as very formal sometimes they fail to become a good catch. There's actually nothing more to do but practice on every girl you come across, there's always someone new coming sometime^^.