Noobie here

[Cortin]

Hi all Newbie here, just found this website. Thought I'd introduced myself.

I don't know if I have social phobia but it sure sounds like it.

It all started at primary, I remember I had one teacher that picked on me. I hated her. I was teased constantly in primary school, basically had 1 or two friends that whole time. The teachers and principals etc didn't seem to care, when ever I fought back I got in trouble. I was told to ignore the teasing, like that ever worked.

Then I got to highschool and I thought I'd escaped it, but I just got teased again. Those years I just felt so alone, I never fitted in, I was the odd one out. I had the brains to do well, but I really didnt do well, i suppose I didn't want to stick out. I just felt so alone, none of the teachers did anything.

Now I've gotten on with life since that, moved to a different town where no one knows me, but I still can't seem to shake my shyness, social fears.

I'm fine when I'm with people I know, but put me in an new situation and my mind and heartbeat go racing. Sometimes I tell myself I can't drink anything because I can feel that my hands are going to start shaking if I hold a cup of coffee or something, I Know it's happened to me in situations, I have to hold it with two hands to hide the shake.

It's holding me back and work because I'm always thinking about what might happen and I seem to want to avoid confrontation/conflict even when it's against my interests.

I don't like going out because I'm just so nervous in public situations. I tend to stay at home, I do go out sometimes, but get me in a large crowd and I start to get uncomfortable. I'm fine when the contact isn't face to face, but I sometimes get apprehensive when I need to call a new contact at work and I feel I come over as too nervous.

I'm just sick of dealing with this issue and can't seem to shake the feeling that it all comes back to my school experiences, how I hated those people and still hate those people who teased me it's really screwed me up. I want to contribute but feel like I can't , I don't know. I feel like I'm missing out on life

thx

 

[LilMissTragic]

Welcome to the site cortin. My experience was very similar to yours. Hope to hear more from ya on here

 

[Johnie]

I understand you Cortin, because I used to be like that when I was at school. The teachers couldn't care less. I was held back because of my problems.

But in my case I didn't fight back. I just went under.

I have the shaking too. I often have to have my coffee without sugar, otherwise it would be all over the place.

You really need to see a doctor and get a proper diagnosis, before more of you life is wasted with stress and worry. I know it's hard, but then you would have a chance of moving forward.

Take care mate - Johnie.
(And keep posting - we're all together here, to help).

 

[Johnie]

lol johnie. i cant believe how many sp dudes drink coffee and coke and talk about shaking,nervousness and insomnia! come on people....herbal tea...passiflora..lavender oil..new age music..come on..lets start a commune..we can have a silent section..

Slap! Slap! Slap!

Hit me harder, Worrydoll, I love it !!! :lol: :lol:

 

[Shelle]

Hi i'm a newbie here also, and totally relate to what you were saying Cortin.

I too was picked on by a teacher at school, it was my first day at high school and she was my form tutor, we all got asked to say a little something about ourselves, and being shy quiet me i found it extremely painful to do so. Anyway i managed it, only to be humiliated by this teacher at my finish, I think her words were, "oh so you're boring then". From then my confidence and ability to deal with other people went steadily down hill.

I'm now 28, and although I have a loving and supporting partner I have no friends of my own, only a few of my partners friends who have been lovely enough to persist in trying to get to know me.

I gave up work last year to study for the degree i've so long wanted, but it has really started to come to a head now, as I am terrified to attend my lectures and seminars. To be honest I feel i'm at breaking point.

Ive been to the doctors in the past to try and get help, but they keep telling me it's depression and putting me on antidepressants, which don't seem to help.

I feel absolutely worthless to the world, and i'm fed up of constantly feeling like i'm letting people down.

Wow, sorry, this really wasn't supposed to be a pour my heart out post, it was just going to be a hello. Ok i'll stop now or this may end up being 12 pages long.

:roll:

 

[Johnie]

Well a big HELLO to you too Shelle !!

I'm from too not far from you (from the Boro) but probably old enough to be your dad!

I too was picked on by a teacher at school,

I'm sort of a bit fond of kids and I just hate it when I hear stories about children being bullied by adults. That's terrible !!

Where are you doing your degree? Is it Leeds? Most colleges have a counselling service (Leeds Uni does). They will understand you a lot better than your doctor seems to do. There are more people around like us than you realize.

I did a degree (yonks ago) at Teesside Uni. It was a struggle but I got there in the end.

It's nice that you have a few people round who support you. It's better to have a few good ones than a bus load of the others. And you are NOT absolutely worthless; take my word for it pet.

And if you want to pour your heart out here, on this forum, there are plenty of good people here who will listen and offer advice if they can.

Big hug for ((( Shelle )))

 

[Quarkz]

Welcome Shelle and Cortin. I understand both of you completely so you aint alone

 

[Anonymous]

hi

Hi everyone, hi cortin.
Reading your post was like reading my life. I too was picked on very much, and no matter how hard i try to get out of my shyness, it nevers seems to happen. Even when i force myself out in public, i never get better at it. People say that i just have to accept that i will always be very shy, but it makes life so hard. I am too scared to go out the front or back of my house , because i fear the neighbours...they must think i am so weird. They probarly think i am snobby, by the looks on there faces, but i am just very shy.It eats away at my mind, day and night. I am fine on the telephone, and with some strangers, but only too people that i know i will never see again. I guess because if i stuff up it will not matter, so naturally those conversations to me are a little easier, with people i will never see again.
I must admit, i feel like a prisoner in my own home. And it does not make it any easier, when both my partner and i, have been out of home for nearly 2 years, and both places we have had neighbours from hell. So it is hard to seem like i am interersted in saying hi also, when i feel uncomfortable because of there activities.
Though that said, phobia of neighbours has followed me all my life, among many other situations.
Socail anxiety has also stoped me from working for many years, after a few firey bosses, and i strugggle with the fact that i cannot work because i fear other peoples expectations of me.
Well all, hope you are all okay, and hope to chat again soon.
Thanks for listening,

Ashleigh

 

[Dill]

Seems like we all were bullied when we where at school.
And I must say is that I definately wouldn't be in this situation if it wasn't for those bullies.

 

[Anonymous]

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[emerald]

Yes, I can always find ways of avoiding the world. I have become quite adapt at it. I am at university doing a degree, and as the university day is so short it is easy to wander off after lectures and pretend to be busy studying instead of joining the chatty group in the canteen.

of course this means that I have only acquantancies and not friends, but I find it easy to chat to people on a superficial level for a few moments and then move on. It is only when that person wants to meet up again and the setting becomes more intimate. that is when I find I do not know what to do. I become nervous and phone or text to cancel and let people down.