No one to confide in

[morbius]

I have been struggling with social phobia, anxiety, and depression for most of my life. It has gotten to the point that I am basically hiding from my family and friends.

I remember once seeing a TV show about a super max prison, where all the inmates were kept by themselves in tiny cells 23 hours a day....and I thought "all by themselves? totally safe behind a 500 pound steel door? where the hell do I sign up for that???"

I do have contact with my family, I exchange email with them about once a month, but I can't communicate with any of my old friends at all. I've been in a downward spiral for at least the past 6 or 7 years.

How many of you, like me, have no one in your life that you can confide in?

Being able to post on a message board is great, but it's not the same thing as having a one-to-one conversation with someone. I live alone, and I am becoming more and more afraid of going outside into the world (when I do I always feel fine but it's opening my front door and walking through it that is paralyzing)

The more I keep to myself, the more reluctant I am to share with others, the more afraid I become of being criticized, the more I keep to myself, the more reluctant I am to share with others, the more afraid I become of being criticized, the more I keep to myself.............

can I pour anyone a glass of 'vicious cycle' ?

 

[morbius]

Sometimes I think having Social Phobia is the equivalent of having "walking Parkinson's" There's a normal human being inside....we just can't interact with the outside world.

I could envision being institutionalized with other Social Phobics, it would probably be really pleasant. I doubt such a place exists.

I don't have health insurance either, tried Paxel for about 2 weeks long ago and while it helped alot with anxiety, I had become a gigantic jackass and stopped taking it shortly after saying something mean that made my girlfriend at the time cry for the first time (something I had never done in the prior 4 years of our relationship)

sometimes I think that along the way my neurons got wired up in an unhealthy way.... maybe some electric shock treatment would reset those connections.

Does your family know you have problems or do you keep it from them as I do?

 

[JamesMorgan]

Moribus

It's a bit like being surrounded by the living dead when in times like this. Wanting to be just left alone in life, not wanting to be with anyone.

Where do we go when we feel like this?

We usually retreat into ourself, this is where we take refuge, we hide from everyone, even though we know it really doesn't help us because we do really want to be close to others dont we? We want to be comfortable around others, we want to be able to be completely relaxed so we can enjoy ourselves when around others.

So it's our feelings we are actually hiding from. On the inside, we dont feel comfortable when around others so we avoid them and feel better, this feeling better isnt actually feeling better at all, its not the cure, its a temporary relief we seem to prescribe ourselves. If i avoid everyone, then, then i will feel comfortabel even though i really would love to be able to be with others.

So what should we do?

Recognise what we are actually avoiding. Recognise what we are actually hiding from. When we see this we dont need to hide from anyone anymore because we know other people aren't really the direct cause of feeling uncomfortable.

As for having someone to confide in, maybe just go easy with this idea for a while. Experience being comfortable around people, know that comfortable (feeling), be confident in it, then progress to opening up slowly to others, safe in that comfort. Then as time moves on open that comfort zone even further to confide in others, trusting.

James

 

[Zipper]

I am so sorry for you guys!

Humiliation and embarrassment is not that bad. These days I do things in order to provoke it. I seek opportunities where people will laugh at me or try to be cruel to me. Better to be a masochist than a coward, I figure.

How interested are you in recovering? There are certainly things you can do if you are motivated.

I would recommend that you enroll in some kind of Social Anxiety group therapy. Usually this is very cheap or free. If you can tolerate befriending other social phobes, and developing them as your confidentes, then a group therapy might be a good place for you to meet people. What if you met other people just like you? Would you like to be their friends? Talk to them? Even if they are as emotionally stunted as you?

Join the social anxiety "Meet Up" group in your area. That way you could meet a bunch of people who need friends as much as you do. Here is the OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) Meet Up Group in my area.

http://ocd.meetup.com/cities/us/mi/grand_rapids/

It's up to you to recover, you will recover when your desire is great enough.