new and scared

[Anonymous]

i think i have social phobia. well i've been feeling like this for ages but i never knew there was a name for it or that other people felt like me.

everything is so hard at the moment, just getting through every day is so much to cope with. i'm scared and nervous all the time, (apart from at home and around my family) and normal things like eating and talking and going mostly anywhere are becoming a huge problem.

i'm going to see my doctor next week and hopefully getting a counsellor. the only reason i haven't before now is that i was scared to tell anyone. i still feel like i'm being stupid.

i don't know when this first started but recently it's got worse. i've had depression, not that badly and it comes in stages, i've been self harming since february last year, but at the moment i'm managing to stop myself from cutting.

i would really appreciate any help or advice you can give me. also, i know you've probably heard it all before but i wanted to list some of the things i have problems with, just to know if it sounds like social phobia and if anyone else experiences the same things.

the worst is eating. ever since people started saying i eat really slowly, i feel like they're watching me, i feel like i have to eat faster to stop them saying anything. i end up not finishing food or not eating anything until i get home.

basically i always feel that people are looking at me. i'm nervous all the time, i can feel how tense i am and how scared i am, even though i know i shouldn't be scared. i worry about what people think of me. i have no confidence left. i can't go anywhere without worrying. i can't even stand up in a room without thinking people are watching me, it sounds really stupid but i have to get back to my chair really quickly.

i find it very hard to talk in front of people and to people i don't know. i even get nervous around my friends, maybe because they're not really friends and like to put me down a lot. i think i'm ugly even though people always say i'm not. i'm always worried about losing weight, because i'm underweight already and not eating obviously doesn't help. it's embarrassing to say but i've been getting diarrhoea and feeling sick almost every day for about 3 months, and i think it has something to do with feeling nervous.

there are so many things but i can't write them all. it's so hard to cope. i'm 15 and at school, i only have one year left but i don't think i can get through it. i'll try to get help but i'm worried it won't work. i'll stop writing now. thanks if you read this, sorry it was so long.

 

[Orlando]

xabbyx,

Hi! I am twice your age but I know the pain that you are going through. My grade school and high school years were also painful. If you look through the other entries on this site, you'll see that you're not the only one with SP. Keep writing. You're not alone.

-Orl

 

[Different]

Hi Xabbyx, how you doing? I can really relate and simpaphize with what your going through. I've been suffering with SA since the age of 14, though I can remember being shy all my life.

I too have found it very hard to eat in public, and find it very annoying when I cant enjoy my food because I feel like people are watching me . After only recently finding out that I had SA, I took the courage to go and see a doctor who gave me medication, as well as making an appointment for me to see a specialist.

I remember when I was at school and I used to associate with people who used to put me down because I was too quiet to stand up and defend myself .

I'm very glad you have seeked the help of a doctor (I feel your on the right path) for he or she will give you the help you deserve . I recently found out on another SA website that any drink containing caffeine in it, like TEA, COFFEE or COCA-COLA makes the condition worse . Have you told any family member's or friends about your condition? it might help.

Anyway I hope that was of some help to you. I know its hard but please dont harm yourself. TAKE CARE.

 

[Anonymous]

thanks for replying my doctors appointment is on friday, hopefully it will help.

 

[Anonymous]

i went to the doctors but all she could do was put me on the waiting list to see a counsellor, she said she hardly ever gives medication to people uder 16. so that made me more depressed because now it seems like i won't get help. i don't know, maybe i need to help myself but it's really hard.

 

[Orlando]

xabbyx,


Hiya. Sorry that the doc said that she/he would not give medicine to anyone younger than 16. That's annoying. However, from what I read from the psychological literature, the researchers have not conducted any research on the long-term effects of psychotropic medication on children and young adults (adolescent subjects). Most of the studies have only used adult participants....Psychiatrists are not sure that if they give you medication now that down the road there may be some bad side-effects......So, maybe it is better this way because what happens if your depression lifts and you get gancer from taking these pills or liver damage. It is like you'll have more problems than when you first began to take the medicine. Trading one problem for another one that can potentially kill you is not a good trade-off!

The good news is that psychiatrists suggest that medication be used in conjunction with therapy for a typical txt plan for social phobia. Most of the hard work is done in therapy any way. Medicine is just a supplement to therapy. There really is no quick-fix to end SP. A pill by itself won't make the panic go away. We all end-up having to face our fears sometime, especially if we want to get better. I am sorry that you may not be able to get medicine but that does not mean that you cannot be treated for SP. Therapy is a very important tool! Use it to your advantage!

Good Luck!

 

[Anonymous]

Hi,

I am more then 3 times of the age of yours and just have started to acknowledge my problem. Obviously, I have matured and hardened over time buy the bloody fear persistet over the years. I think it is not a good strategy to rely on drugs. Drugs won't cure you. If there is any complete cure to the problem. I have taken drugs and left them. What has realy helped me are relaxation technics. They are no quick fix. But you should consider to give it a try.