patheticloser
New member
Due to my SA I tend to judge others based on their looks. Well, as they say there are exceptions to every rule. Here's the story. Back in Dec. after I met Playboy model Debbi Davids I wrote a post insulting her. Just google her name and find Triumphs over SA. It's from a different forum who has banned me because the mods thought I was impersonating as Debbi. I made them famous and what do I get in return? The direct link is blocked but you can still read the whole post in the cached link.
I wrote it after getting rejected by Debbi for using a lame pickup line. I asked her if I could get a peck on the cheek as an early b-day present since I've never been kissed by a girl before. Debbi didn't believe me and said that was a lame excuse and obviously I've been kissed by my mother or some other relative. I should've been honest from the beginning. Well, technically I was and even mentioned I'm a virgin. I figure I could say anything to get the kiss.
I laughed off the rejection at first and pat myself on the back for overcoming SA with women. Instead of sitting in the corner of the bar as usual, I dared myself to do something spontaneous for a change. With the help of beer and Zoloft decreasing the SA levels the past few months I could finally go up to someone. Then again I can easily talk to someone famous like the local weatherman shopping at Wal-mart or the news anchor at McDonalds. It's strange that I treat ordinary people like celebrities and the famous vice versa. It's because I already know Debbi through Playboy and the same goes with the weatherman via the nightly news. Mystery and the unknown are too scary to deal with strangers.
The frustration with myself and realizing I failed again made me write the insulting post about Debbi. For the record any woman who rejects me will get in a world of trouble when I vent on these SA forums. I like to blame the other person and not myself for my failures. It's easier that way so I don't have to deal with the consequences. Anyway, I said things I didn't mean about Debbi and was just trying to make that original post appealing to losers like me. Guys who've never had gf, never can approach women, and never would have the guts to talk to a Playboy model.
The reality is Debbi Davids is none of what I said. In fact she's the complete opposite: kind, caring, sweetheart, very smart, monogamous, in a healthy relationship, and has great potential. Over the past month she's taken time out of her job serving beers at Teddy's Sports Bar and Grill Night Club in Rapid City, SD. I've gotten alot of feedback from her that I can use to appeal to women. Debbi has told me to be myself, don't compete with the other guys, love yourself first before you try to find a gf, that bars are worst place to find a relationship, and just have fun if you don't find a girl. I do listen to her advice but I chose not to apply them wisely.
That's probably why she is confused why I keep coming back to Teddy's. Well, I like the music, dancing, and the low lighting. It helps control my SA as well as the beer. I'm hooked on the environment with so many hot women that go there. The reality is I'm not looking for a long-term relationship and just a one-night stand. I want to get devirginized before this year is over! I don't care about the risks like STDs. Life is short and I'm tired of being careful.
Fact of the matter is I never thought I'd speak to Debbi again after being so pathetic and stupid. If I spoke to some other model they'd get freaked out and call security thinking I'm a stalker. Debbi is strong willed and knows how to defend for herself. I admire her resilient attitude on life. She told me "Everyday is like a new day and let the past go" or something close to that. I wish I could get my hands on a book how to be successful because she has been like my own little handbook. At least giving me the jist or an outline.
It was two weeks after the rejection that Debbi talked to me. That gave me motivation to change my life. More than any of my therapists could try doing. I guess hearing suggestions from someone in the industry I could believe her. Then again you could tell Debbi was real and down to earth unlike most models. Maybe it's the fact she's 33 yr. old and not in my age group that makes all the difference. I've talked to some people ten years older than me the past few years and you could tell they had the skills to make it through life. My generation is still in the experimental stage and doesn't have answers to life's problems.
I am grateful I ever met Debbi and hope we can still be friends. Although, it was just this past weekend she found out what I had posted about her. She was devastated and pissed like you wouldn't believe. I guess she'd never thought a nice and good guy like me would go off and do such a mean thing behind her back. I could see where it crosses the line and could've even ruined her reputation so maybe I should get sued for it. I don't have much money so I've got nothing to lose anyway.
Debbi had faith in me and could see lots of potential. I on the other hand see none since I'm so critical about myself. As she vented at me about how much she's had to deal with in life I acted like I didn't care because my narcissism won't allow me to empathize. I don't know how to deal with other people's personal problems so I tend to ignore them. Debbi surprised me by saying I hate women. I don't! I just don't understand them and therefore are afraid of the opposite sex. I almost treat them like completely different species since it's hard to talk to females. No experience equals no knowledge or skill to be with women.
I knew people could see right through me and that's why I let SA become so extreme in the past so no one could find out about my insecurities. I don't want others to know and wish I kept my big mouth shut. I'm considering relapsing back to house arrest if I screw up again. I am too weak, fragile, and a wuss at life so trying to push the envelope and break through this disorder is too much for me.
I don't Debbi will ever forgive me even if she did so last Sat. I bet she thinks less of me and still has resentment of me. As a way to make up for my immature actions I promised Debbi to write a new post about her and explain she is not what I said and is the complete opposite.
I know I have learned my lesson and will never judge someone based on their looks ever again. It's just that when I look at a blond like Debbi you see fake written all over her. That was my first impression. As it turns out that's only for the job and not her true self. Debbi even showed me two old pics of her with naturally pretty looks. Of course that doesn't appeal to Playboy readers and she was forced to get a boob job and die her hair bleach blonde. I would settle for her natural looks anyday despite what other men want.
BTW in that original post I assumed if I looked more attractive she'd easily give me a kiss. According to her she even rejected the jock-like Playgirl Las Vegas chip n' dales who were trying to flirt with her. Imagine that even those so called studs have no chance with Debbi! Ha ha so there you dumb jocks and jerks who think you've got it all. Turns out us nice guys appeal to her! At least there are some smart women left and won't settle for the macho egos.
Which also means all those pimps, playas, and bad boys have no chance with Debbi. It's not an act either because she's for real! Probably the most real and open-minded Playboy model in the industry. To prove it I asked her to remember what was her best bf she ever had. That was a tough one to answer and she had to think about it for awhile. She could remember a guy that was living in her apartment complex at the time. They got on well with each other and liked to play video games together. Aww, see she's not an airhead afterall.
You never know who you'll come across in your life and become friends with. So never say or post something you'll regret because you never know what fate has instore.
Love ya Debbi and hope we can settle our differences!
I wrote it after getting rejected by Debbi for using a lame pickup line. I asked her if I could get a peck on the cheek as an early b-day present since I've never been kissed by a girl before. Debbi didn't believe me and said that was a lame excuse and obviously I've been kissed by my mother or some other relative. I should've been honest from the beginning. Well, technically I was and even mentioned I'm a virgin. I figure I could say anything to get the kiss.
I laughed off the rejection at first and pat myself on the back for overcoming SA with women. Instead of sitting in the corner of the bar as usual, I dared myself to do something spontaneous for a change. With the help of beer and Zoloft decreasing the SA levels the past few months I could finally go up to someone. Then again I can easily talk to someone famous like the local weatherman shopping at Wal-mart or the news anchor at McDonalds. It's strange that I treat ordinary people like celebrities and the famous vice versa. It's because I already know Debbi through Playboy and the same goes with the weatherman via the nightly news. Mystery and the unknown are too scary to deal with strangers.
The frustration with myself and realizing I failed again made me write the insulting post about Debbi. For the record any woman who rejects me will get in a world of trouble when I vent on these SA forums. I like to blame the other person and not myself for my failures. It's easier that way so I don't have to deal with the consequences. Anyway, I said things I didn't mean about Debbi and was just trying to make that original post appealing to losers like me. Guys who've never had gf, never can approach women, and never would have the guts to talk to a Playboy model.
The reality is Debbi Davids is none of what I said. In fact she's the complete opposite: kind, caring, sweetheart, very smart, monogamous, in a healthy relationship, and has great potential. Over the past month she's taken time out of her job serving beers at Teddy's Sports Bar and Grill Night Club in Rapid City, SD. I've gotten alot of feedback from her that I can use to appeal to women. Debbi has told me to be myself, don't compete with the other guys, love yourself first before you try to find a gf, that bars are worst place to find a relationship, and just have fun if you don't find a girl. I do listen to her advice but I chose not to apply them wisely.
That's probably why she is confused why I keep coming back to Teddy's. Well, I like the music, dancing, and the low lighting. It helps control my SA as well as the beer. I'm hooked on the environment with so many hot women that go there. The reality is I'm not looking for a long-term relationship and just a one-night stand. I want to get devirginized before this year is over! I don't care about the risks like STDs. Life is short and I'm tired of being careful.
Fact of the matter is I never thought I'd speak to Debbi again after being so pathetic and stupid. If I spoke to some other model they'd get freaked out and call security thinking I'm a stalker. Debbi is strong willed and knows how to defend for herself. I admire her resilient attitude on life. She told me "Everyday is like a new day and let the past go" or something close to that. I wish I could get my hands on a book how to be successful because she has been like my own little handbook. At least giving me the jist or an outline.
It was two weeks after the rejection that Debbi talked to me. That gave me motivation to change my life. More than any of my therapists could try doing. I guess hearing suggestions from someone in the industry I could believe her. Then again you could tell Debbi was real and down to earth unlike most models. Maybe it's the fact she's 33 yr. old and not in my age group that makes all the difference. I've talked to some people ten years older than me the past few years and you could tell they had the skills to make it through life. My generation is still in the experimental stage and doesn't have answers to life's problems.
I am grateful I ever met Debbi and hope we can still be friends. Although, it was just this past weekend she found out what I had posted about her. She was devastated and pissed like you wouldn't believe. I guess she'd never thought a nice and good guy like me would go off and do such a mean thing behind her back. I could see where it crosses the line and could've even ruined her reputation so maybe I should get sued for it. I don't have much money so I've got nothing to lose anyway.
Debbi had faith in me and could see lots of potential. I on the other hand see none since I'm so critical about myself. As she vented at me about how much she's had to deal with in life I acted like I didn't care because my narcissism won't allow me to empathize. I don't know how to deal with other people's personal problems so I tend to ignore them. Debbi surprised me by saying I hate women. I don't! I just don't understand them and therefore are afraid of the opposite sex. I almost treat them like completely different species since it's hard to talk to females. No experience equals no knowledge or skill to be with women.
I knew people could see right through me and that's why I let SA become so extreme in the past so no one could find out about my insecurities. I don't want others to know and wish I kept my big mouth shut. I'm considering relapsing back to house arrest if I screw up again. I am too weak, fragile, and a wuss at life so trying to push the envelope and break through this disorder is too much for me.
I don't Debbi will ever forgive me even if she did so last Sat. I bet she thinks less of me and still has resentment of me. As a way to make up for my immature actions I promised Debbi to write a new post about her and explain she is not what I said and is the complete opposite.
I know I have learned my lesson and will never judge someone based on their looks ever again. It's just that when I look at a blond like Debbi you see fake written all over her. That was my first impression. As it turns out that's only for the job and not her true self. Debbi even showed me two old pics of her with naturally pretty looks. Of course that doesn't appeal to Playboy readers and she was forced to get a boob job and die her hair bleach blonde. I would settle for her natural looks anyday despite what other men want.
BTW in that original post I assumed if I looked more attractive she'd easily give me a kiss. According to her she even rejected the jock-like Playgirl Las Vegas chip n' dales who were trying to flirt with her. Imagine that even those so called studs have no chance with Debbi! Ha ha so there you dumb jocks and jerks who think you've got it all. Turns out us nice guys appeal to her! At least there are some smart women left and won't settle for the macho egos.
Which also means all those pimps, playas, and bad boys have no chance with Debbi. It's not an act either because she's for real! Probably the most real and open-minded Playboy model in the industry. To prove it I asked her to remember what was her best bf she ever had. That was a tough one to answer and she had to think about it for awhile. She could remember a guy that was living in her apartment complex at the time. They got on well with each other and liked to play video games together. Aww, see she's not an airhead afterall.
You never know who you'll come across in your life and become friends with. So never say or post something you'll regret because you never know what fate has instore.
Love ya Debbi and hope we can settle our differences!