Never a fitting response & problems with interpersonal relationships

[dasheenster]

Hi I'm 17, my name is Shane.

I never have a fitting response to give in most social situations. Someone will be talking about their old boyfriend, or walks in a park, or bike riding, or cars, or a play in football, or some philosophical idea, or their feelings, and I never have **** to say. So what do I do? I come up with something and it's always something true, but it's also usually obvious or irrelevant. And so they nod at what I've just said and say something else. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to make people laugh. But for the most part, I'm just saying stupid (but true) things with little tone or emotion in my voice. Sometimes I can come out of this "zone"/"trance" and actually have good empathy.

As a result of this poor communication being pervasive, I can't get to know people. So my closest "friends" just have a few common interests that we talk about. But it's boring as hell when we hang out because we have nothing interesting to say. I also don't get along with the extreme extroverts because I have nothing fun to say to them. So I have weak relationships. Don't even get me started on trying to get to know females.

Advice? Pointers?

 

[coyote]

There's a lot of good advice here. Welcome.

 

[PunkRotten]

Forget about talking to females, forget about trying to impress others and please them etc. Start trying to learn on connecting with your true identity. Connect with your values. When you create this person everything becomes better for you. You don't have to pretend, be fake, try to impress anyone, feel insecure etc. You have more confidence because every action and word comes from you. All these difficulties you have in life will get better in time after you lay this foundation down. The friends you make, the girls that like you etc, will all be real, because they will like YOU.

Life is so much more rewarding this way.