I am 22. I first noticed social anxiety when my grandad died when I was 8 years old. I remember the funeral and seeing my grandad just lying there. The next day I was back at junior school and just before assembly that morning everything just changed. I suddenly became aware of being worried about what others thought.
In 2007 I saw my GP. Got given citalopram. Nothing happened. I got put on paroxetine one month before my final year of uni when I was going to have to give presentations which I was dreading. Unbelievably to me, paroxetine worked and enabled me to finish uni.
I have been on 60mg paroxetine since december 2008. I finished uni in May 2009. I have not been able to get a job. Only recently have I said to myself that I dont want to think these negative thoughts anymore. I have been working on my negative core beliefs. What I realise now is that for the past year the paroxetine didnt allow me to counter negative thoughts with CBT because they didnt arise until recently.
What is so odd is that when paroxetine's effectiveness reduced slightly and i began getting negative thoughts again yet my alertness remained the same as the first brilliant year on paroxetine. Doesnt this mean mental illness has permanently took hold once you get problem. I mean my GP was talking of coming off them and maybe relapsing; i relapsed whilst on them still.
In 2007 I saw my GP. Got given citalopram. Nothing happened. I got put on paroxetine one month before my final year of uni when I was going to have to give presentations which I was dreading. Unbelievably to me, paroxetine worked and enabled me to finish uni.
I have been on 60mg paroxetine since december 2008. I finished uni in May 2009. I have not been able to get a job. Only recently have I said to myself that I dont want to think these negative thoughts anymore. I have been working on my negative core beliefs. What I realise now is that for the past year the paroxetine didnt allow me to counter negative thoughts with CBT because they didnt arise until recently.
What is so odd is that when paroxetine's effectiveness reduced slightly and i began getting negative thoughts again yet my alertness remained the same as the first brilliant year on paroxetine. Doesnt this mean mental illness has permanently took hold once you get problem. I mean my GP was talking of coming off them and maybe relapsing; i relapsed whilst on them still.