Needing to know
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ripewithdecay
Well-known member
Not much changes in terms of how you feel about your life.
Having a girlfriend can create a lot of good memories...
but a lot of painful ones too.
It never really feels like a stable thing either, it feels like you have to put a lot of effort into it, and at first you do, but after a while you just sorta get lazy and take it for granted and let her do all the work.
At least that's how i've been in the past.
I don't know, they might have issues with your SA as well and that can create some problems after a bit of time once she realizes you're not communicating well with new people or her friends perhaps.
But this is all based on the meager 2 relationships i've ever been in, and I was a lot worse back then than i am now.
Heartbreak imo is a good thing to have happen once. I know that sounds weird but there's something about the feeling of getting over a relationship that really seems to strengthen who you are.
All I know is that improving yourself first before getting a girlfriend is the best way to go to really enjoy a relationship.
Having a girlfriend can create a lot of good memories...
but a lot of painful ones too.
It never really feels like a stable thing either, it feels like you have to put a lot of effort into it, and at first you do, but after a while you just sorta get lazy and take it for granted and let her do all the work.
At least that's how i've been in the past.
I don't know, they might have issues with your SA as well and that can create some problems after a bit of time once she realizes you're not communicating well with new people or her friends perhaps.
But this is all based on the meager 2 relationships i've ever been in, and I was a lot worse back then than i am now.
Heartbreak imo is a good thing to have happen once. I know that sounds weird but there's something about the feeling of getting over a relationship that really seems to strengthen who you are.
All I know is that improving yourself first before getting a girlfriend is the best way to go to really enjoy a relationship.
footballfan
Well-known member
yeah, it's just like ripewithdecay said.
but it's good if you find the right girl, cause you can tell her anything you feel, without feeling ahsamed.
but it's good if you find the right girl, cause you can tell her anything you feel, without feeling ahsamed.
Moonie
Well-known member
I think ripedwithdecay made alot of great points! I don't have experience with having a girlfriend :lol: , but I have had a few boyfriends, and can still relate to what has been said.
The bad: Like mentioned, some partners get a little frustrated with your SA. I never openly told any of them that I have SA (mainly because I am uncertain about it or don't want to be labeled.) But, it's hard meeting their friends and family. Sometimes I come across as looking snobby or bored because of my shyness - when that's not the case. I had one BF even dump me shortly after meeting his friends and family at a bonfire. His mom made some comments about it. And then some get frustrated, I think, because they know their partner is an amazing person when they are alone with them, but their friends and family might not see it at first, second, third meet.
If you have low self-esteem, it can be a constant stuggle. It can be hard to believe that the person loves you - if you don't love yourself. Even if they assure you, you just don't feel it or wonder if they are being truthful. And it can really turn you into an ugly person- as far as your attitude goes. I get jealous easily, too. If my BF says another girl is cute or even talks about a girl at work, I get crushed. Like ripe said, you really should try and improve yourself (love yourself) before you can allow someone to love you.
The good: You get to experience things you would not - if alone. You actually feel like you have some life in you. I didn't have my first before until 21 and before that I was friendless. So, I really got to experience life with his help.
If it's a good person, then you really have someone you can always call or turn to when a problem arises. Even if they can't solve it, they are there to listen and support you.
The bad: Like mentioned, some partners get a little frustrated with your SA. I never openly told any of them that I have SA (mainly because I am uncertain about it or don't want to be labeled.) But, it's hard meeting their friends and family. Sometimes I come across as looking snobby or bored because of my shyness - when that's not the case. I had one BF even dump me shortly after meeting his friends and family at a bonfire. His mom made some comments about it. And then some get frustrated, I think, because they know their partner is an amazing person when they are alone with them, but their friends and family might not see it at first, second, third meet.
If you have low self-esteem, it can be a constant stuggle. It can be hard to believe that the person loves you - if you don't love yourself. Even if they assure you, you just don't feel it or wonder if they are being truthful. And it can really turn you into an ugly person- as far as your attitude goes. I get jealous easily, too. If my BF says another girl is cute or even talks about a girl at work, I get crushed. Like ripe said, you really should try and improve yourself (love yourself) before you can allow someone to love you.
The good: You get to experience things you would not - if alone. You actually feel like you have some life in you. I didn't have my first before until 21 and before that I was friendless. So, I really got to experience life with his help.
If it's a good person, then you really have someone you can always call or turn to when a problem arises. Even if they can't solve it, they are there to listen and support you.
Tab
Well-known member
I want to know why I haven;t found anyone yet. You'd think after all these years someone would have come along. I don't go out much but one would think that there would be someone at school or those few times I do go out some one would come along. Girls I've been friends with have liked me but I didn't feel anything for them. In order to get a gf do you HAVE to feel something for that person or do you just go with it? I have no idea what thell I'm doing.