Polly_Princess
Active member
Does anyone else have obsessions that they don't think are common? Many of us have experienced obsessions/fears about sexuality, germs, "going crazy" etcera, but what about those less common ones?
Here are mine:
1. I fear that I'm there is something psychologically wrong with me (other than OCD). I take every little trait, flaw or mistake as a symptom of a mental disorder. I spend hours and hours online and reading books about mental disorders, trying to find which one "fits" so I can identify anything that may be "wrong" with me. I've been to doctor after doctor, complaining of the smallest symptoms, just because I'm obsessed with the idea that I must be somehow abnormal. Alongside this, I've got that typical fear of going crazy or being schizophrenic.
2. I'm obsessed with my flaws, my past, my mistakes and how I compare with everyone else. I not only feel excessive amounts of guilt and go through my past with a fine toothed comb, leading to constant rumination every single day, I am also convinced that every one I've ever met sees me as being very flawed, inferior and a freak. I'm convinced that everyone I went to high school with, old co-workers and even friends (past and present) can remember every last flaw I showed and mistake I made and see me a damaged, inferior and flawed goods. I feel as if they see me as imperfect and someone to mock and look down upon.
I have two particular mistakes from my teenage years that I'm totally consumed by and cannot forgive myself for. Don't get me wrong, they weren't anything illegal, or even life changing, but I can't let them go. They're the kind of thing most people would brush off and laugh about.
3. I'm obsessed with feeling clean and pure in an INTERNAL sense. Sure, I get busy with the soap and water as often as the next person here, but my major hang-up is the need to be internally pure. This obsession, of course, has exacerbated my problem with my obsession with my flaws and mistakes, as they make me feel dirty and tarnished. I now refuse to drink, I've never been a smoker and I make myself dress very conservatively so I don't attract too much attention from the opposite sex. I'm terrified of appearing to be "slutty" or promiscuous.
Here are mine:
1. I fear that I'm there is something psychologically wrong with me (other than OCD). I take every little trait, flaw or mistake as a symptom of a mental disorder. I spend hours and hours online and reading books about mental disorders, trying to find which one "fits" so I can identify anything that may be "wrong" with me. I've been to doctor after doctor, complaining of the smallest symptoms, just because I'm obsessed with the idea that I must be somehow abnormal. Alongside this, I've got that typical fear of going crazy or being schizophrenic.
2. I'm obsessed with my flaws, my past, my mistakes and how I compare with everyone else. I not only feel excessive amounts of guilt and go through my past with a fine toothed comb, leading to constant rumination every single day, I am also convinced that every one I've ever met sees me as being very flawed, inferior and a freak. I'm convinced that everyone I went to high school with, old co-workers and even friends (past and present) can remember every last flaw I showed and mistake I made and see me a damaged, inferior and flawed goods. I feel as if they see me as imperfect and someone to mock and look down upon.
I have two particular mistakes from my teenage years that I'm totally consumed by and cannot forgive myself for. Don't get me wrong, they weren't anything illegal, or even life changing, but I can't let them go. They're the kind of thing most people would brush off and laugh about.
3. I'm obsessed with feeling clean and pure in an INTERNAL sense. Sure, I get busy with the soap and water as often as the next person here, but my major hang-up is the need to be internally pure. This obsession, of course, has exacerbated my problem with my obsession with my flaws and mistakes, as they make me feel dirty and tarnished. I now refuse to drink, I've never been a smoker and I make myself dress very conservatively so I don't attract too much attention from the opposite sex. I'm terrified of appearing to be "slutty" or promiscuous.