My story

"and when another question appears, obsessions thrive on all my fears, until the answer to my question is found, then it will resonate with silent sound ...tranquility is my virtue..."

i made up that quote above to somewhat express how i feel on a day to day basis. i'm 21 years old...and my ocd is getting out of hand. i also have panic attacks / anxiety disorder, and for that i am prescribed klonopin. that helps with the panic attacks / anxiety attacks, but not with the ocd. for me, it is much more of an obsessive disorder. i get caught up so much on thoughts, or on things on my body. for example, i am currently in the process of recovering from my fourth nose surgery...i have had a severely deviated septum among other nasal problems for the past five years or so. this last surgery was done by a plastic surgeon, and he took a rib graft and everything seems to be going okay. there seems to be some loose tissue and such in my nose / blood clots. some of those things i have removed. there is another flap-like thing in my left nostril, but i will wait until tuesday to ask the surgeon what it is. anyway, i'm almost sure the surgery was a success, despite the three before it failing. for that i am happy, but i am obsessed with my nose because of all this. i have had ocd since i was 7 years old, and though i do have rituals for brushing my teeth, etc...my obsessions seem to be my main problem.
i have been on effexor, lexapro, zoloft, prozac, and none really seemed to work. prozac actually made things worse i believe, and made me go crazy. i'm going to see my psychiatrist tomorrow to see what she recommends. i find the only time i am really at peace with myself is when i am asleep, or when i am under the effects of opiates (i used to abuse them recreationally, but not anymore as i know that is no true solution.)
anyway, i basically wanted to introduce myself. thanks to all those who read all of this. any comments and / or suggestions are welcome. please share if you have anything to say or related stories. i will probably frequent these forums and post a lot if i see positive reinforcement. thanks guys!
 

Nina09

Banned
hey,

i'm new too and also dealing with OCD. I know how frustrating it is and how it keeps you from doing all the things you want to do. I've been on many of the meds you listed and they didn't help me either. I'm now trying alternative natural supplements which have helped without doing damage to my system. I'm happy to pass along any info if you are interested. I'm sorry to hear about your nose situation, it must be so frustrating. I hope you are able to find the support and feedback you've been looking for.
 
hey nina, thanks for responding. it is amazing how much the mind can change in such little time, for better or for worse. i am feeling much more mentally stable than when i made this thread. i started taking celexa, 20mg daily. it made me feel weird / zombie-like for the first 5 days or so, but now i'm starting to feel better. i feel less depressed, and it's like i can feel the sun shining even if it's raining and cloudy... (that actually relaxes me though, could be the reason haha.) i let you all know how the celexa works out in the end...i am supposed to get up to 40mg within a week or so...i hate starting / changing dose of ssri's. oh well, another 5 days of side effects shouldn't be too much. my nose is doing a lot better actually, thought i am still a little obsessed with it, it doesn't bother me nearly as much as it did.
 
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