My Story... Road to Recovery...

[tpman]

Hello

I am a social anxiety sufferer, now that I think of it I have been afraid of social situations for about 7 years ever since starting high school, however I was not necessarily a shy person.

Anyway... I went to see my DOC at age 17 (now 19) once I had finished school to talk to him about my feelings of depression/anxiety. IT was then when he diagnosed me with Social Anxiety and pescribed me AROPAX (paxil) for it.

It was a GODSEND. I went on a holiday with a friend and 6 girls to celebrate the end of school (i had alot of anxiety prior to this) and had the time of my life. Even when I came back home I stayed in contact with these people and had the best summer of my life. I got back together with my ex and she fell in love with this "new me". The Drug gave me so much confidence. I felt it made me WHO I REALLY AM.

I went off this drug after about 4 months due to side effects, and a belief that I had over-come the condition. I was wrong..... I had to go back on the med after 2 months being off it. And again, It killed the anxiety. People at work where amazed at how confident I was. I was constantly complemented on being charasmatic/charming/funny etc.... Unfortunately the drug didnt fix me 100%. I still had alot of bad days, and was still quite depressed. The drug didnt get me to where I wanted to be....I went off it again after 10months.

I have been seeing a Therapist who specialises in Social Phobia and she has helped me alot. I am having some difficulty though with the behavioural component of THERAPY. Especially now I am no longer on any medication...

My Question is.. WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE TO BE RECOVERD. IS RECOVERY CURE? I want CRAVE social interaction so much. But I just cant do it. I want alot of friends, I want to live a very social life with alot of parties etc. This is where I want to be. IS IT POSSIBLE? IS THIS WHAT MY LIFE WILL BE IF I RECOVER??

My problem is not so much anxiety around unfamiliar people. I have a problem with people I know. I dated a girl for 12months and I NEVER felt comfortable around her. Even after 6months. Was afraid to answer her calls. I seem to have a problem with people I know more so than people I dont.

Please. If anyone can relate to me or can help me with my Questions I'd be very happy.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

hi tp man. your story sounds just like mine. i'm 19 as well and remember when the SP hit at 11 - like a light came on in my head one day adn the long hard road began.

i was diagnosed at 17 and began therapy which helped and tried a few drugs and paxil helped TREMENDOUSLY. i was confident, outgoing, care-free. no worries here.

well i was tired of the side affects as well and didn't want to depend on a drug for the rest of my life so i tapered off of it (quiting it is a bitch!!).

then i went through a bad break up and was back on it for depression and have been since july. i got that confidence back and it was so easy to manage my overall stress.

life went on, and now i'm quiting again - three weeks into the withdrawal and everything even by gradually going off of it. it's a dangerous drug to quit (www.quitpaxil.info/index.htm).

then WHOOSH all the anxiety is coming back at me. i was in the car a week ago getting ready to go to a party and it's like it was foreign to me, my reaction to it b/c i'd been so used to being anxiety free. by my heart was racing adn i was sweating adn my mind was a mile a minute.

i was really concerned about the depression coming back, but i've started exercising and all that good stuff.

i don't think you will be anxiety or SP free for a while, especially if you are off the meds so soon - you're going to have to relearn how to manage it.

but i just took what i learned while being on Paxil to get me through it. how did you feel when you were taking it? my mind processes when i was stress were very short and sweet. "i hope ___ doesn't happen. oh well, whatever happens, happens". but with no meds, it can go for days. so i try and let little things go.

also while in social situations on the Paxil, i had a distinct lack of caring for what other people thought. in my mind it was "i'm being judged b/c i don't know anyone here, but eh - i'm gonna have a good time anyway". now it's taking me manually going in my mind when i'm anxious and thinking out the problem. and i've had success so far.

i think recovery is when you know how to manage your anxiety and your SP - not the lack of the presense of the anxiety. and it can be done, i assure you. it becomes habit after a while.

try breathing exercises and things like that - and break situations down - do you really have a good reason to worry about what x person thinks? or does person y walking down the street really takes the time to pick you apart piece by piece? it's all CBT but like i say, over time it helps and you'll be happier.

so how do you konw when you've "recovered" or not? when SP doesn't run your life anymore. when you know how to calm yourself down when you're in a fit of worry. i still have my good and bad days and you will too, but it doesn't mean you're not making progress

 

[tpman]

Chilling echo.

It would be interesting to chat too you more about it. PM me with your email.

Also..

Has anyone had success meditating. Therapist says its very helpful...

 

[Chilling__Echo]

tpman, the best way to contact me is through the email in my signature, hope to hear from ya

 

[shovelhead]

you should try mantra meditation its easier cause its almost impossible to think of nothing for a long time.

Thinking of nothing is also a rather more advanced form of meditation, which is just not going to work for many, especially straight off the bat... I agree with worrydoll a mantra (repeating chant) type meditation is much easier...

To OP: I am glad Aropax worked better for you than me, it was hell for me, straight in the bin... Personally I am somewhat anti-drugs I don't think they help you recover, therapy and learning to deal with your problems does that, drugs just hide it.. Personally I do use valium from time to time, but I know it doesn't treat the problem, just the symptoms at times when they get too much for me..

How long have you been at the therapy?

"I am having some difficulty though with the behavioural component of THERAPY" - Yeah I do too sometimes, don't worry just try and keep at it and make sure you recognise and celebrate the improvements that you make through therapy, they will be slower than medication but I think more lasting...

 

[foxtrot]

****Edited By Yetisbabe**** This is the third post that I have deleted of yours. This is a support forum and as such, we offer support. Each person's anxiety affects them in different ways, and is in varying degrees. Its not for us to judge how the others feel.