Nina
Member
The first time i actually expirenced bullying was being bullied by my 1st grade teacher because i was bad at Maths (it's something like dislexia just with Math....i can't remember the English name though German on in Diskalkulie..). When we found out that i'd have deal with this teacher are full 4 years!!! I changed schools when i was in 2nd grade. This year went great! I had many friends, no bullying trouble and playdates after school nearly every day and weekend. But at the end of the 2nd grade the teacher said it would be better for me to repeat the class because of Math. My new class thought i was stupid for repeating the year and as a 8-year-old girl who didn't know any better i was showing them what they wanted to see..me acting stupid. BUT the teasing still didn't get out of hand since i still had friends who stuck with me! But when the grades kept falling even though i practised a lot my mother, the school psycologist and the teacher had me change schools. I had to go to a school at was especially for children with learning and behaviour problems, that had small classes. Unfortunaly the school had manily male students. During my first two years i happened to have a great teacher and a nice girl in my class. The boys sometimes teased but i knew they had behaviour problems and it wasn't about me so it didn't bother me much. But then 5th grade- new awful teacher, the girl left for regular school. Being the only girl PLUS the only dark skinned and only (half) American child in the class i became the tagret for ALL their teasing. Sometimes they were nice, then they teased and hit me.
It got to his highest point at 7th grade when we changed teacher again. First the new teacher really seemed to care, wanting to help then i got pissed and stoped trying to help. I remember running away from school at least twice. Sometimes i whole crowd of boys was following me, also older boys from 8th and 9th grade (last grade at the school) teased me and blamed everything that happened one me. Somebody was provoking me, i was fet up and threw my jacket at him, the 9th grader who saw it told the teacher it was all me. It got a little better when a new girl came that was my friend- but just for a while. When the two of us had a fight she teased me more than everything. Since the bullying just got better when my mum was stressing the teacher for weeks and then came back even worse after a while anyway we decide that i had to change classes since the other class had more girls. But- the girl who used to be my friend happend to be in that class and also a few guys who teased me before already. Whenever the teacher left the room (what happened to be often!) the whole class teased me and took my stuff. The teacher was blaming it on me for "being overly sensitive" and "reacting to remarks" once she also said that i would not let THEM have their oen point of view! Once i broke down crying in the halls because nobody belived me that they were bullying me, everybody said it was me not them. When i was at the principal office once seing the window i had a desire to jump out! I was placed in the Itensive Care Class later (not because i mad problem but because my mum wanted it so i could have a break from them). I stayed there! I NEVER went over to the school building (Itensive Care Class was in another building). I was truly happy during this time and i loved school! But then when 9th grade was over i HAD to leave the school.
At my new school i was shy, not talking much from the beginning, even feeling confiend about myself. I thought if i'm nice to people they might be nice as well. Pretty much wrong: Everybody in my class already knew somebody and they were practically like 2 gangs. They always use me (ask me to use my phone, my mp3, take my seat etc.) and also tease sometimes and sometimes i get offensive notes (like "Fuck me" or "Did you have sex") they also keep asking me personal question, talk about be being a "geek" (i'm actually not, I'm average and bad at Math! I might be better at English but that's about me being half American). I guess it's not only about me being shy but also about the way i dress (sporty...not "boyish" i wear girls clothes and normal Jeans but i want confortable clothes) the way i wear my hair (i don't like it down) and that i don't smoke, party and drink. And probably also because i have totally different interest, listen to totally different music (most of them like Hip-Hop and Rap, which i hate). Or if they all talk about O.C California and/or CSI last night and ask ME i can't say anything because i've been watching Grey's Anatomy and House instead. They keep nagging me to watch CSI, wear my hair down and go shopping for "better" clothes with them. But at least i'm now confident enough to like myself the way i am, not letting them change me! If they feel to good to hang out with the real me they can hang out for themselfs. Because i'm not changing myself to be with them. Lifes to short to fake!!!!
It got to his highest point at 7th grade when we changed teacher again. First the new teacher really seemed to care, wanting to help then i got pissed and stoped trying to help. I remember running away from school at least twice. Sometimes i whole crowd of boys was following me, also older boys from 8th and 9th grade (last grade at the school) teased me and blamed everything that happened one me. Somebody was provoking me, i was fet up and threw my jacket at him, the 9th grader who saw it told the teacher it was all me. It got a little better when a new girl came that was my friend- but just for a while. When the two of us had a fight she teased me more than everything. Since the bullying just got better when my mum was stressing the teacher for weeks and then came back even worse after a while anyway we decide that i had to change classes since the other class had more girls. But- the girl who used to be my friend happend to be in that class and also a few guys who teased me before already. Whenever the teacher left the room (what happened to be often!) the whole class teased me and took my stuff. The teacher was blaming it on me for "being overly sensitive" and "reacting to remarks" once she also said that i would not let THEM have their oen point of view! Once i broke down crying in the halls because nobody belived me that they were bullying me, everybody said it was me not them. When i was at the principal office once seing the window i had a desire to jump out! I was placed in the Itensive Care Class later (not because i mad problem but because my mum wanted it so i could have a break from them). I stayed there! I NEVER went over to the school building (Itensive Care Class was in another building). I was truly happy during this time and i loved school! But then when 9th grade was over i HAD to leave the school.
At my new school i was shy, not talking much from the beginning, even feeling confiend about myself. I thought if i'm nice to people they might be nice as well. Pretty much wrong: Everybody in my class already knew somebody and they were practically like 2 gangs. They always use me (ask me to use my phone, my mp3, take my seat etc.) and also tease sometimes and sometimes i get offensive notes (like "Fuck me" or "Did you have sex") they also keep asking me personal question, talk about be being a "geek" (i'm actually not, I'm average and bad at Math! I might be better at English but that's about me being half American). I guess it's not only about me being shy but also about the way i dress (sporty...not "boyish" i wear girls clothes and normal Jeans but i want confortable clothes) the way i wear my hair (i don't like it down) and that i don't smoke, party and drink. And probably also because i have totally different interest, listen to totally different music (most of them like Hip-Hop and Rap, which i hate). Or if they all talk about O.C California and/or CSI last night and ask ME i can't say anything because i've been watching Grey's Anatomy and House instead. They keep nagging me to watch CSI, wear my hair down and go shopping for "better" clothes with them. But at least i'm now confident enough to like myself the way i am, not letting them change me! If they feel to good to hang out with the real me they can hang out for themselfs. Because i'm not changing myself to be with them. Lifes to short to fake!!!!
