aussie135
Member
First I'll say a bit about my story.
I was always a quiet kid around older people but not kids my own age. Primary school I was the most popular, smartest and best at sport, not being thick, but I was. I have 2 older bro's and 2 older sisters. My brothers gave me shit pretty much everyday of my life through school. My siblings are also fuckin nutcases like me and growing up I saw a lot of holes punched in the walls, knife fights... just a lot of anger.
I developed SA in yr 7 (12-13). I went to primary school to high school, the same school as my brothers. I was again the most popular at the start of yr 7, a lot of bloody girls liked me. One girl stalked me pretty much, called the cops on me and my brothers and said we sent her death threats. Anyway, once SA hit my popularity died down and I was friendless out of school for about 6 months.
I eventually made a couple of mates from cricket and school and this is when I started drinking, smoking cigz and smoking weed. My couple of mates grew to about 15 mates and we had a little group goin. We did some crazy shit.
At the end of yr9 I had to change schools again. It was a lot bigger school and had a lot more people I knew and also my brothers mates. My brothers and I all have the same nickname and I got noticed by kids I never knew at all just because I was their brother. I skipped a lot of school in yr 10 but managed to pass because the teachers knew I was bright and plus I broke my leg and tore the shit out of my hip.
Yr 11 and all my mates joined the same school as me so all us boys were at the same school. It was good at first but then I and a few mates got addicted to choof and we skipped a lot of school to smoke. I eventually dropped out half way through because the anxiety was gettin a hold of me. I had trouble just walking properly and just being seen by people.
After a while of sittin home doin nothin. My choof mate called me and said he was lookin at doing carpentry and it was a coincidence that same day my sister printed me out forms. I eventually got the balls to go. I never would of went without my mate there but.
At this time I did a few harder drugs and was smokin weed everyday after tafe. I drank a slab every weekend and was pretty gone. I cruised through the first 6 weeks of tafe, I dragged my mate along and we always finished our tasks first even though we were the youngest. I never really spoke to anyone much in that class and about 8 weeks into the course my dad died from cancer so I used that as an excuse to quit. I didnt even go to his funeral because of it and thats when I decided I had to quit choof and I did.
About a week later I was searchin the internet for why I was so shy and came across social anxiety. Fckin spot on. Now I had a name for the shit I got. I didnt have the balls to call anyone so I found kids helpine online counselling and they referred me to a local counselling joint.... and the counselling joint referred me to headspace.... and headspace said I needed to get a mental health plan from my GP so I did all that. Went and saw all the people I needed to see. Dont really know how. Now at the moment I am waiting on a psychologist but I am talking to a counsellor at headspace. She aint a bad looker either.
I told one of my good mates about this the other day over a few beers(first ever person I've told, not even my mum) and he was really supportive and opened up a fair bit about himself aswell.
Long arse story but if anyone bothers to get to this part well this is my question.
Does anyone feel like they are different around different people? Im not really anxious in front of my mum but with other members of my family I cant even stand talkin to them. And with certain mates I am more down and others I am up.
Any replies to my story or to my my question would be great.
Story sounds a lot easier than it was/is.
I was always a quiet kid around older people but not kids my own age. Primary school I was the most popular, smartest and best at sport, not being thick, but I was. I have 2 older bro's and 2 older sisters. My brothers gave me shit pretty much everyday of my life through school. My siblings are also fuckin nutcases like me and growing up I saw a lot of holes punched in the walls, knife fights... just a lot of anger.
I developed SA in yr 7 (12-13). I went to primary school to high school, the same school as my brothers. I was again the most popular at the start of yr 7, a lot of bloody girls liked me. One girl stalked me pretty much, called the cops on me and my brothers and said we sent her death threats. Anyway, once SA hit my popularity died down and I was friendless out of school for about 6 months.
I eventually made a couple of mates from cricket and school and this is when I started drinking, smoking cigz and smoking weed. My couple of mates grew to about 15 mates and we had a little group goin. We did some crazy shit.
At the end of yr9 I had to change schools again. It was a lot bigger school and had a lot more people I knew and also my brothers mates. My brothers and I all have the same nickname and I got noticed by kids I never knew at all just because I was their brother. I skipped a lot of school in yr 10 but managed to pass because the teachers knew I was bright and plus I broke my leg and tore the shit out of my hip.
Yr 11 and all my mates joined the same school as me so all us boys were at the same school. It was good at first but then I and a few mates got addicted to choof and we skipped a lot of school to smoke. I eventually dropped out half way through because the anxiety was gettin a hold of me. I had trouble just walking properly and just being seen by people.
After a while of sittin home doin nothin. My choof mate called me and said he was lookin at doing carpentry and it was a coincidence that same day my sister printed me out forms. I eventually got the balls to go. I never would of went without my mate there but.
At this time I did a few harder drugs and was smokin weed everyday after tafe. I drank a slab every weekend and was pretty gone. I cruised through the first 6 weeks of tafe, I dragged my mate along and we always finished our tasks first even though we were the youngest. I never really spoke to anyone much in that class and about 8 weeks into the course my dad died from cancer so I used that as an excuse to quit. I didnt even go to his funeral because of it and thats when I decided I had to quit choof and I did.
About a week later I was searchin the internet for why I was so shy and came across social anxiety. Fckin spot on. Now I had a name for the shit I got. I didnt have the balls to call anyone so I found kids helpine online counselling and they referred me to a local counselling joint.... and the counselling joint referred me to headspace.... and headspace said I needed to get a mental health plan from my GP so I did all that. Went and saw all the people I needed to see. Dont really know how. Now at the moment I am waiting on a psychologist but I am talking to a counsellor at headspace. She aint a bad looker either.
I told one of my good mates about this the other day over a few beers(first ever person I've told, not even my mum) and he was really supportive and opened up a fair bit about himself aswell.
Long arse story but if anyone bothers to get to this part well this is my question.
Does anyone feel like they are different around different people? Im not really anxious in front of my mum but with other members of my family I cant even stand talkin to them. And with certain mates I am more down and others I am up.
Any replies to my story or to my my question would be great.
Story sounds a lot easier than it was/is.
