My Social Hell

[MrMark]

Hello everyone,

I have had this disorder for about 3 years now, and it is only lately that i have searched up about it on the internet and realised that it is an actual illness. I always thought that I was just more nervous than other people. I went on wikipedia and read a whole page about social anxiety - the page described exactly how I am.

I have a phobia of doing presentations. Nothing in life scares me more than standing infront people being the centre of attention. It got so bad that it is limiting my life - I dropped out of school, and also college just because I had to do a presentation. This sounds pathetic I know, but the fear and stress that it caused me was just too much.
The main part of it is people looking at me. I think that people will judge the way that I look or something and laugh at me.

Even when I am out with close mates I find it hard to have an eye to eye conversation with them. I look at their eyes and then get a load of strange thoughts. I think that I must look paranoid when looking at them which makes me even more paranoid, if you know what I mean.

Even walking down the street - when someone is walking towards me I find it hard to cope.

I do enjoy going out down the pub or clubbing though. Its just that sometimes talking to strangers is very hard for me. I always get drunk so that I can talk to people normally and not get anxious, its pathetic. It makes me sick that I prefer myself when I have had a few beers to when I am sober.

I really don't think that psychiactric help can do much for me because my anxiety is so strong. I have read a few medical solutions on the net but they seem a bit dodgy to me, but has anyone come across ANY solutions that they would like to share?

To be honest I hate myself because of the way I am. I would be such a better person without this disorder

 

[nedkelly]

Hi mate, i feel for you.
I left school also, because i was terrified of the same thing. I always have been. It makes me feel ill, when i have had too do it in the past.
I tried too get out of it in school, but they would not let me, and were unwilling to let me complete school, if i did not do it. That really hurt, because i would have finished otherwise.
I always hate when people say..just picture the audience in the nude/or underwear. Like that ever helped! I defiantely couldn't imagine that! What i see, is what i see(they had clothes on!)
The fear of speaking too the public had always held me back.
Just as bad, having to introduce yourself in a group. It's one of those arty farty things you have too do these days..role plays etc. Like that ever helped anybody..especially us social phobic sufferers.
I hope it dosen't hold you back too much mate. But yeh, it is hard to study without having too do it. Teachers/ and the people who set the format for classes, must take us guys into account. We would get a lot further in life, if they were willing to allow us, not to do the speeches.
There are other ways too gain confidence, but speeches set us back.
I hope one day you get better, hard i know, ihave severe anxiety, and yet to find something that helps. Sorry can't be of much help.
Take care MrMark

 

[renegade]

Me 2, MrMark

 

[ashlee515]

Hello. I am new to this sight and farely new in realizing i too suffer from social anxiety. Alot of what you guys have to say reminds me of myself and situations i have encountered. I find myself becoming very shy and anxious when put in "certain" social situations. Not ALL situations, but certain ones with certain people and sometimes at certain places. It's a horrible feeling. If i could sink into the floor and dissapear i would. If anyone knows any helpful tips or even ways of calming down please contact me i would really appreciate the help and someone to talk to who can relate is always great. -Ashlee

 

[jasonkidd]

i had the same problem back when i was in high school and college 10 years ago. i also have as much trouble as you making eye contact and believe people are judging me in a negative way all the time. try taking daily some Maalox antacid. that helped me a little bit.

 

[Septor]

Sounds just like me.I drop out of my senior of high school because of being affaid.All I can say Mrmark is try and hang in there and try and get some help.

 

[Zipper]

I would recommend reading a few books on SAD. Learn a few cognitive behavioral techniques, especially fear-testing and embarrassment provocation. Get on a dossage of an SSRI, and get into therapy with someone familiar with anxiety disorders and cognitive behavioral therapy. Change your global attitudes -- about what kind of treatment you can expect and permit from others, what kind of expectation you place on yourself.

Realize that everybody faces fear and anxiety and concerns about performance to a varying degree. Learn how to manage the problem and deal better with criticism, seeing it as an opportunity for growth rather than a threat of cruelty. Life is a movement, and there is no "right" or "wrong" ways of doing things (generally). There is no such thing as a "perfect" mode of behavior or a "perfect" performance. There are no penalties for mistakes. There is no agreed on standard of what amounts to a "mistake."

SAD is definitely something that you can work on resolving. You can make progress in becoming more confident and functional. There is definitely hope of maturation and personal growth. But don't expect a perfect recovery, because the thought that such a thing exists is the type of assumption that keeps you crippled.