My social anxiety

[the_hermit]

Hi everyone,

You have no idea how nice it is to have stumbled across this site, I've been looking for a place to talk with similar people.

 

[bluenow]

Hi,
Maybe you could try an online class that could be applied towards your major. In California you can register through the mail, order your books online and take some classes online. Maybe that would give you a start towards school.
You will be a little older than the a lot of the students if you went back to school. Maybe that would make it easier on you.
Good luck.

 

[Meaning_of_meaningless]

"This makes it even harder, no one believes a word I say when I try and tell how shy and crippled I am by this anxiety. NO ONE BELIEVES"

Why are you condeming yourself? What do you hope to gain from their sympathy? And the truth is they dont believe in you because they have FAITH in who you truly wish to be. I hope this words helps. 8)

 

[PhobiaJesse]

Today I was supposed to run a bunch of errands but my social phobia stopped me from going out. Somedays it is worse than others...
I don't say anything at work becuz I don't know what to even say to any1. When my friends call I don't answer anymore. The worst is going grocey shopping and just having any attention on me in general. In college I was never able to get my BA becuz you are required to take a speech class.

 

[the_hermit]

Thanks a lot for the replies guys.

I think we have all felt as you did when we first stumbled upon people who were like us. Feeling that we did not have to try to hard to explain ourselves and be misunderstood or judged, is quite liberating. This in itself can make a huge difference. You can get past this and have as "normal" life as possible.I really hope you find some answers here. .

Thanks, you are so right it is nice to see that other people are feeling the same way. I think if I try and apply this to my everday life it will help as well. I need to remember that people aren't really even concerned with what im doing probably, when out in public for example. They are worried about their own problems. I fall victim to the problem of thinking I know what other people are thinking about, and its usually always something negative about me. Who knows, they could be thinking I'm cute and they want to talk to me. Thank you very much for saying this, I am going to try to put it to work.

Today I was supposed to run a bunch of errands but my social phobia stopped me from going out. Somedays it is worse than others...
I don't say anything at work becuz I don't know what to even say to any1. When my friends call I don't answer anymore. The worst is going grocey shopping and just having any attention on me in general. In college I was never able to get my BA becuz you are required to take a speech class.

I know exactly how you feel, I am in the exact same boat. I would give you some tips but I don't have any. As I also said above I dropped out of College twice, my second time was due to this class, I think it was a public speaking, where we were all in small groups and it was a requirement to be speaking every single day in the class, I just can't do it. I don't see myself ever doing it.

Then I looked and saw any degree I wanted required one of these classes, so I guess I'm screwed.

As far as jobs go, I've quit a job because I just couldn't go in and face anyone anymore. I also do not talk on the phone. As I said in my first post, I don't have any friends so I guess I dont have to worry about it. If someone does call though, I just let it ring if its not an immediate family member when I look in the caller ID. I can talk to my parents fine, but even extended family I have a problem talking to. My voice will get all weird and I can't come up with anything to talk about. Luckily I have my own business and work out of my home, but there are times people I work with via the internet need to talk to me on the phone, I just ignore them until they get antsy about it then I will just flat out refuse.

I think I would consider myself smart, but everything I have ever learned I taught myself. I do very well learning on my own, but these days unless we have that piece of paper from a College certifying "this individual knows xyz" we are seriously impaired. I could know just as much or more than the next guy but without a degree I'm nobody. Kind of sucks.

The only good thing I can get out of my social phobia is the amount of time I devote to learning things on my own. I am by myself 24hrs/day so I will just read all day, both books and over the internet. I also play a few instruments and know some programming languages. All this I have taught myself. Then if I look at what I've learned in school, I feel like its nothing compared to my self-taught things.

Good luck to you though Jesse, I hope you get past your phobia. Maybe we both will someday soon.

 

[kkidd8]

Edited

 

[kkidd8]

yo,
I don't think this is a dating service, so maybe you should put your profile
under in the paper or something

Edited

 

[the_hermit]

Ok, thanks I will kkid. Got any good sites to reccomend?

Edit: Kkid, since I guess you would like an explanation, I think you are interpreting me as bragging about something, when in fact it is far from it. In case you can't tell, I have SA, and don't feel too good about myself. I am just trying to give an idea of who I am and what I'm going through, since while we all may have SA each of us is different and has their own little problems. I was just trying to be direct so I can get as much help as possible, I'm sorry you read it in another way.

 

[kkidd8]

Edited

 

[kkidd8]

sorry

hey hermit,

I just wanted to apologize. You are right i am way outta line. Sorry for the things that i said. Good luck, soory once again

 

[MarCPatt]

I do not really know how to start what I want to say, or even know if what is in my mind is what I really want to say. But here it goes. Well, I was in your same situation for about 1 year. I was not able to leave my house. Everyone made me feel uncomfortable and self-conscience, even my hubby. It got so bad, even to the point of not being able to sleep next to my hubby, for which my hubby felt forced to sleep in our living room sofa almost every night. Not to mention that I couldn't,t even enjoy love-making, it was too stressful. To make a long story short, my SA got completely out of hand, and like many of our fellow SA sufferers I contemplated ending it all once and for all. Nothing seemed worth living for and fearing my kind made life a living hell for me. At the time I had just moved to a different state, and was away from my family, and had no friends, other than my hubby. To this day I am so grateful that my hubby is such a kind soul and has been their for me even during times when I wanted him as far away as possible. I was taking medication, but I guess it was not working for me any longer, and the stress that comes with moving away from all the comfort did help at all.

My life has been a nightmare (not only because of my SA but all the evil people in my childhood) and I had decided, with the help of my hubby and our church to not end my life but to give myself a chance to enjoy all the beauty of what life has to offer and to not let the darkness for ever embrace me.

So, I read all I could find on SA. Luckily I found this site. I started by trying to take a few steps at a time. First, I tried it here, a somewhat safe heaven. I tried to force myself to participate and write, a little at a time. Eventually I even joined the shyroom chatroom that used to be available to us here; it is not any longer, the shyroom people did not liked social phobia people for some reason. Guess they do not understand us and our problems for some reason, even thought these two emotional problems are siblings, in other words, very closely related. Second, I started by forcing myself to go out in public, a little at a time. Each time I went out in public I force myself to stay a little longer. Ofcourse, I was not always successful and my anxiety got the best of me many times, but I kept trying and trying, no matter how many times I failed. Third, I forced myself to get a part-time job. Eventually, I got a full-time job and have that same full-time job to this day. My SA is not completely gone, but I do pat myself on the back for having come so far and just hope to learn to accept anxiety as part of my life and not let it dictate my quality of life.

Well, I am getting tired of writing. Maybe I will continue some other day. There is just so much to write about SA.