I want to see if anyone can relate to what i'm about to say. I've been shy all of my life. It's gotten worse as I have gotten older and I am now 30. I knew when I was really young that life was going to suck really hard. My problem now is that from being this way I dont think i developed the social skills I need to live a normal life. I still live at home, with a alcoholic mother that is like living in hell. I was never really shown affection when i was growing up, meaning like no hugs or interaction with anyone. So when I was younger I knew that talking or interacting with females would be a problem. I have had little to no interaction with females. Its killing me i swear. I'm not ugly by no means, well I think I am but you know that goes. I am talented in almost every sport and mad other stuff. I'm nice, drive a sweet ride, will do anything for people but its like this there is the real me stuck inside of my body and I can't get him out. Its gotten to the point now that i am so down and depressed all the time about it. My best friend is a girl. I spend a lot of time with her and really like her, but I'm scared to say anything. I just sit there thinking it in my head and can't do anything about it. I get so jealous when she chills with other guys or goes out to parties and bars and I wonder what she is doing and who she is doing it with. It's tearing me apart. I don't know if she likes me like that or even knows that I like her that way. No one ever talks about it. She has to know I like her cause I buy her stuff all the time and treat her so good but its like I can barley look at her when i talk to her. I'm like that with all people, the eye contact thing and being social in general I just sit there and don't talk. I have nothing to say I'm blank all the time. Its ruined my life. I can't go out on the weekends cause I grew up with alcohol and people drinkning just sets me off in a weird way and I can't socialize like a normal human. I just don't know what to do anymore. I really can't deal with it. I swear shyness is a curse. It really is. Sorry if this didn't make sense but i'm frustrated. Maybe someone can relate. its late i'm off to bed to go into my dream reality were I can be the real me.:
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