My new life starts today!

[ILuvHipHop]

hey everyone, ive been browsing these forums for awhile as a guest and finding myself getting over my anxiety so I decided to become a member! of course to share my experiences... *edited* im a 19/m/australia (forgot to post it ) :wink:

my anxiety has become more of a concern over the last 6 - 9 months.. though I can think of moments before then when i had short periods of it. Most of my anxiety/ocd has been based on the thoughts about my eyes or ears (fears im going blind/deaf). Whenever I would stew over thoughts I would get bad pains in the area I was focusing on... such as if i was fearing I was losing my colour vision my eyes would hurt and go blurry.. If it was my ears then I would get a pain similar to pressure building up in them. Sometimes the pain would be overwhelming and I realise now that they were probably times when I had a type of panic attack. Recently its been just my eyes that have been annoying me.. because I've started seeing coloured halo's around lights at night, ghosted vision etc... which doesnt leave after the anxiety has faded. Every now and again I get glimpses of the person I want to be... and should be! carefree and full of life! today ive spent the morning stewing over thoughts until I finally said enough! and decided to totally ignore them. Mind you, this has happened quite a few times before (and failed ) but this time feels different because im losing that hopeless feeling and am going through some self-realisation of how beautiful life can be... anxiety changes the way your view life and makes it feel as if theres no hope, but after you've ridden yourself of anxiety you'll have a positive outlook

I can recommend a great e-book The Linden Method Manual which has helped me greatly with breathing exercises and diversion tactics. never underestimate the importance of breathing! and dont hold on to past experiences. The anxiety cant hurt you... just let go of the memories and try keep active. Even try to stop telling yourself "it cant hurt you..." tell yourself once and move on! lifes too short to worry about these things hopefully i've helped someone with my experiences and i wish everyone the best for the future, we can win the fight!

 

[ILuvHipHop]

Hey again just an update on how things are going... seeing as not many people have viewed my post (must be too long??) but im hoping its helped the ones who have! Anyway it hasnt been all clear sailing since my last post... I've had times when I've fallen back into old habits for a few minutes/hours but overall I've kept my general gameplan of telling myself the thoughts cant hurt me and ignoring them. Today I had one of the strongest episodes I've had since my last post... and it was triggered because I had forgot which sound I was trying to monitor! (which sound I feared I couldnt hear anymore) and this brought about pressure in my ears (only a sensation ) as I could feel the adrenaline surging inside of me.. It's like I had supressed it so long and it all came out. Felt like I wanted to release it by hitting something or running... but inside curled up and told myself I'de be fine. Now after the attack its back to the same tactics as before, forgetting it ever happened, telling myself it hasnt hurt me and getting on with life. Im definately seeing an improvement now though as I'm getting times when I forget what I was worrying about! and that can only be happening if im not focusing on it all the time Best wishes to everyone! and the best of luck defeating your anxiety

 

[missquiet]

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[Septor]

Hey again just an update on how things are going... seeing as not many people have viewed my post (must be too long??) but im hoping its helped the ones who have! Anyway it hasnt been all clear sailing since my last post... I've had times when I've fallen back into old habits for a few minutes/hours but overall I've kept my general gameplan of telling myself the thoughts cant hurt me and ignoring them. Today I had one of the strongest episodes I've had since my last post... and it was triggered because I had forgot which sound I was trying to monitor! (which sound I feared I couldnt hear anymore) and this brought about pressure in my ears (only a sensation ) as I could feel the adrenaline surging inside of me.. It's like I had supressed it so long and it all came out. Felt like I wanted to release it by hitting something or running... but inside curled up and told myself I'de be fine. Now after the attack its back to the same tactics as before, forgetting it ever happened, telling myself it hasnt hurt me and getting on with life. Im definately seeing an improvement now though as I'm getting times when I forget what I was worrying about! and that can only be happening if im not focusing on it all the time Best wishes to everyone! and the best of luck defeating your anxiety

Good job ILuvHipHop and a belated welcome to spw.

 

[ILuvHipHop]

Yay! thanks for the replies guys so exciting hehehe.. yeh I would of posted in the introduction section missquiet just I wasn't planning on being a regular really. Just wanted to post my story in case someone could relate but I believe if I keep browsing the forum it'll just keep the anxiety in my mind more. But in saying that... im still here checkin the site nearly everyday lol I had a pretty bad night at work anxiety wise... everything went bright and it totally consumed me AND I gave into it and worried and im still dwelling on the thoughts thinking my sight has changed in some way... but tomorrows another day and life goes on! I know I'm getting stronger day after day as it slowly retreats... can't be all rosy though i guess? heres another tip for everyone try telling yourself that its in the past and dwelling on it isnt going to change anything. I find if you tell yourself this and feel it within you it helps alot and remember it cant hurt you! My heart goes out to everyone who suffers with this...

 

[colleague]

ILuvHipHop, I can relate to what you write about!

Two months ago my anxiety battles came back, after a 10-year period of being "normal." I finally ended up starting on a medication although I did NOT want to, and it has helped get rid of some of the crazy thoughts, feelings, and such. A couple weeks ago I went to see a counsellor who suggested I quit reading about anxiety/panic attacks/etc and I knew that was something I had to quit doing in order to get my mind off of it. I have stopped visiting this site EVERY day as over the past two weeks I've been feeling great, although this last week I went back in to a bit of a fog so here I am - I digress.

One thing that I think has put me back a couple steps is that the weather here is gloomy - cloudy, raining, hail (kind of odd for here). I live on Vancouver Island in British Columbia, Canada. PLUS, I am not working and most of my friends work full time so I spend a lot of time at the computer with my mind wandering. I've started going to the gym so that occupies a couple hours each day, plus gets me out and socializing although it's not enough for the other 22 hours of the day!

Anyway, thanks for updating us all on your progress. I, too, believe that the power of the mind is the ultimate resolution to anxiety - live life each day, live in the now, don't ponder the future and the uncontrollable, BREATHE, and enjoy what you have to enjoy!!

25/m/Canada

 

[ILuvHipHop]

Thanks for sharing your story colleague! its great to hear you've been free of it for 10 years! adds to my motivation to get rid of it. I can definately relate when you say you have trouble finding things to do... since anxiety had consumed so much of my life and thinking, I was always turning down friends to go out and if I did wasnt the best of company because I couldnt enjoy the moment. This makes it hard to keep my mind off the anxiety because most of the time im not working or studying my mind isnt occupied... my favourite past time has become lying on my bed listenin to music lol :? I forgot to mention that my father and grandmother both suffer from anxiety. At times when I was a child I'de hear my dad talking to himself and one time saw him with a rubber band around his wrist not knowing what it was all about but now I understand! I've heard other family members telling me that my grandmother was suffering from anxiety but at the time didn't know anything about it.. okay I should end this post, or i'll rant forever!