My Christmas Party Story......and the Aftermath

[justsomebloke25]

Just thought I'd post this cos it might help to get it off my chest and it will be interesting to see what people think. Plus parts of it might give a few of you a good laugh!

So Friday was my office christmas party which I forced myself to go to. Like any good SA sufferer the only way I was gonna get through it was to get very, very drunk. So off I went drinking as much as I could as quickly as I could. 8)

So I surprised myself and was actually having a really good time dancing and chatting with a bunch of people from work, including a girl (Tanya) who I get on fairly well with but have never really thought of her as anything more than a friend and I'm pretty sure she's never even thought of me as anything more than a midly amusing bloke from work.....

After that the night becomes a blur.......next thing I remember is being on the minibus home, and me and Tanya are all over each other and talking about going home together.........then the next thing I remember is waking up at 6:30 in the morning in her bed with her next to me. Wow, I thought, what a great night it must have been

Then I realize I'm still fully clothed........bit odd, considering.......so she wakes up and she starts telling me what happened when we got back to her place. Apparently, we were all ready to get down to it, when I started feeling sick and ran off to the bathroom, where I spent the next 45 minutes while she sat around waiting for me. (smooth, aint I? :lol: )Neither of us remember what happened after I finally finished throwing up, but as near as we can tell we just got into bed and went straight to sleep.

So in the morning we were lying there together and I thought I may as well try to finish what we started last night. So I started kissing her and she kissed me back.....but she just didn't seem that into it. I got the feeling that if I'd really tried we would have had sex but I didn't want to feel like I was pressuring her into it so I backed off and we stopped altogether. So later on we said goodbye and that was that.

Until now, cos we're back at work together. It's bad enough that everyone in the company knows we went home together and I'm therefore the centre of attention (everyone with SA just loves that right? :x ). But on top of that I've got to deal with her. As I said I wan't even interested in her before that night but now I can't stop thinking about her and what a missed opportunity it was. And even though I know we're not right for each other at all and things wouldn't work out in the long run, I kind of want to spend time with her and see if we can give a relationship a chance. Maybe i'm just thinking like this cos I'm so lonely?

But she keeps talking about what a mistake it was and how she didn't know what she was doing, and it's really making me feel really bad about myself. But then I think maybe she's only talking like that to save her embarrassment about the whole thing. There's an added complication to the whole thing because she knows that I have always been pretty much in love with this other girl at work, so maybe she feels weird about that?

I really don't know what to do. Life is just so complicated sometimes :?

 

[scatmantom]

lol good story.

but the fact u was chatin to a girl and got the courage (dutch or not) to go home with her shows ur in a better off situation than me anxiety wise!

 

[outside_looking_in]

So I started kissing her and she kissed me back.....but she just didn't seem that into it.

Well if it was me, unless you'd drunk a pint of water, gargled with mouthwash and flossed since all that hurling the night before, I wouldn't have been that into it either!!

On the bright side, that would mean it might be purely that that was putting her off--and it gives you a jokey angle if you decided to ask her out ("I promise to go easy on the drink and brush my teeth this time ...") And use your own words, I think "wanting to spend some time with" someone is the loveliest, most romantic yet laid back way of putting it. Can't remember the last time someone wanted to spend some time with me!
So I'd say give it a go, but don't be too down if she says no. You actually ended up doing the gentlemanly thing (in the morning anyway! And I'm sure she'd have appreciated that)

PS. How many people do you think have woken up, and slunk home, in the exact same circumstances? Enough to make you feel a bit better, I'm sure! :lol:

 

[kiwi]

If I could get drunk and have a good time then I'd probably go to my Christmas party too!

Good on ya for actually hooking up with someone - I presume this isn't something you normally do??

I don't know about the whole kissing in the morning thing though - morning breath is bad enough without getting drunk and throwing up the night before!

As for the awkwardness with her at work, if you're still interested why don't you go out for coffee and then have a chat about it. See if she's interested?

 

[justsomebloke25]

Update on this story for anyone who cares.....

I worked up the courage to tell her how I felt and I asked her out and we're now seeing each other. But now I've realised that was the easy part!

Having spent the last 7 years suffering with this SA cr*p I have no idea how to date so I'm finding it all quite difficult. I don't know where places are to take her and I don't have the confidence to say 'tonight we're going to go here cos it wil be fun' because I worry whether she'll enjoy it. The thought of taking her out for a meal fills me with dread cos of stuf like having to talk to people to order, etc.

Plus we've got the added difficulty of having to be careful where we go because neither of us want everyone at work to be gossiping about us so we're trying to keep the whole thing secret.

She's been really great about my lack of confidence/experience though which has been good. She's very outgoing so I'm hoping that will start to rub off on me soon.

But despite all these problems I keep finding to do with trying to have a relationship, it's definitely worth it. I'm enjoying having someone to share things with for once. I'm just hoping she doesn't give up on me anytime soon because I think I've done quite well for myself really! :lol:

 

[J]

Congrats, Bloke!! Glad you took the chance of speaking with her again, and gladder that it's working out for you!!

For the rest of us, here's some proof that even for SAers, the worst-case scenario is not always what's gonna happen! AND that bad/awkward/embarassing events don't always mean certain doom!!

(Far easier to say than to practice, I know I'm harder on myself than anyone else ever could be...)

 

[tommydog]

congratulations bloke sounds like your doing great.

treat her with respect, give her space when she needs it, and have fun !

just take it one step at a time mate. youl do the best you can given the timing and the situation, so thats something you can take comfort in.

 

[The_9th_passenger]

Shit! How I envy you!
As youall could see in my damn christmas work party topic, it didn't go so well for me. The girls surrounding me thought I was a poor silly shy boy and I thought they were non grata persons for me.

But there's one big difference between our two stories (in addition to sexual events) which just happens to be......ALCOHOL!!

I got almost the same situation with a girl one of latest times I got drunk but there was a difference: I didn't care for her. So when she told me to go have sex together my answer -surprisingly- was NO thanks. 5 minutes later I was throwing out all my stomach content down the WC while the poor girl stared at me with a kind of terrifyed face :lol: Can't imagine what could have happened if I said "yes" :lol: :lol:

It's been almost 5 years since I last got drunk and I want to stay that way. Getting drunk and feeling relaxed because of a drug (alcohol, dope, cocaine) is no good. It's a tricky thing cos you might end up trapped by the drug cos you'll see you go out pretty well while you're high but not when you're not, so you'll need to take it every time you go to a party. Be carefull with that. And also drunk people do crazy things youwouldn't do if you were not drunk so also have that in mind.
Maybe the girl was drunk too and she didn't really think properly what she was doing (like me with my case).

 

[scatmantom]

lol

 

[justsomebloke25]

Thanks, people.

I hope my story can give hope to someone. I sometimes feel guilty posting here cos some of my problems seem pretty small compared to some of the people here.

I guess good things happen to us all eventually......you just have to wait your turn!

 

[tommydog]

no its good.

people with bad sp will feel encouraged i think.

i met 2 people within the last year, both with social phobia. both of them dealt with it in such an inspiring way (in my opinion) that i decided to start spending alot of time with them. thier way of doing thing certainly rubbed off on me and im way better for it.

its ok to show people its not all doom and gloom, because its not. its just normal life, with sp attached.